


Starchildren

by mercyandmagic



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Betrayal, Clone Wars, Espionage, Forgiveness, Friendship, Guilt, Healing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redemption, Slow Burn, Stormtrooper Rebellion, Trauma, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 68,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercyandmagic/pseuds/mercyandmagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her message alerted the Resistance to the Starkiller's target; her conscience saved Phasma from the trash compactor. Zaira meant to spy on the enemy, but instead discovered people she loved. Perhaps, in this galaxy, there are as many chances for redemption as destruction. OC/Hux, Reylo, and Stormpilot. Will update Wednesdays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

General Hux was not a man ruled by his temper. With all the consternation he had been dealt of late – his soldier turning traitor, being tasked with saving that religious man-child as his life’s work was demolished, and now arriving to report to their omnipotent and immensely displeased master – he had hardly expected one shout to undo him.

General Hux was a soldier, a practical man. He could not, and never had, indulged his temper the way that sniveling Ren did.

Yet his face burned the color of his hair as he and his stormtroopers marched up to the Supreme Leader’s dwelling. Citizens of their rugged moon crowded around, their eyes demanding an answer to his failure.

 _Ren’s_ failure, he reminded himself. If Kylo Ren hadn’t let compassion for the girl impair his judgment, if he’d captured the droid, been impersonal - if Kylo Ren hadn’t been _Kylo Ren_ \- his magnificent Starkiller would have won them victory. He would have been the hero to these ragtag creatures, to Snoke, to himself and his dead father.

Unfortunately, Ren had been whisked away to the medical base, leaving Hux and Phasma the only officers to escort the surviving stormtroopers and ragtag officers up the rocky streets to the decrepit castle their Supreme Leader had chosen to live in this month.

Once again, he looked like a fool, while the injured Ren was an object of sympathy. Hux thought of the Supreme Leader’s disappointment, and desperation rose along with the bile in his throat.

Some of the citizens’ faces were sympathetic, some scared. Most were angry, sneering, though none dared taunt them.

Hux liked to think that he was too imposing, that they were still impressed with him, the brains behind the stormtroopers and the Starkiller, but the truth was that Captain Phasma, clutching her still-shiny blaster, kept the mocking at bay.

And then.

“Perhaps failing at mass murder counts as victory?”

            Hux spun around, determined to find and _annihilate_ this impudent – ah, there it was. A human like himself. Her eyes widened when she realized he had noticed her.

            “What…was…that…” Hux seethed.

            She backed up, clearly regretting her choice. If he had looked closer, he might have noticed a smirk in her eyes, but Hux was too tired and humiliated to notice emotion.

            “Phasma,” Hux said loudly.

            “Yes, sir.” She knew the order before he gave it, but Captain Phasma was too intelligent to act before his command.

            “See to that wretch.”

            “Yes, sir,” she said again. Her blaster was aimed and fired before the mouthy woman had a chance to flee.

            She toppled off the edge of the cliff she’d foolishly stood by, towards the deep, deep sea below.

Hux had not counted on what happened next.

He’d intended to show force, command, power. Instead, his audience seemed stunned by his actions.

The fools! As if this violence was unique in their miserable lives! He practically led the First Order, their one hope from the chaos of the Resistance.

Yet, he still felt…uneasy. Almost like a failure.

The stone hit him before he’d had time to resume his march.

Phasma and the other stormtroopers cocked their blasters.

“What, are you going to kill your citizens now?”

“How could you have lost our best weapon?”

“He’s a child, of course he did. I don’t know what the Supreme Leader could have been thinking – ”

“ _Do – not_ – _question –_ the Supreme Leader!” spat Hux. They hated him – they really did – no!

“Oh really?” yelled an older man. “How many lives were lost? How many officers?”

“I don’t see my son,” added an elderly woman tearfully.

Hux felt a pang of shame, if only because he had no idea who her son was. But he could not give in.

“Your personal wishes are no reason to question Supreme Leader Snoke.”

“Bullshit!” Another rock narrowly missed his nose, clanging loudly against Phasma’s armor.

“ _Shoot_ anyone who attacks,” Hux snarled.

“Shoot us? More of us?” shrieked a younger voice.

Then the citizens were swarming them, and the riot stormtroopers were firing into the crowd, and more citizens were dying. And one more stormtrooper, too, toppled backwards, in Hux’s peripheral vision.

So much death – he didn’t like being so close to it. Death should occur halfway across the galaxy. It should be a clean means to end chaos.

Now Phasma would probably blame him, too, for the deaths of more of her precious stormtroopers. He hated these citizens. He hated them so much, he wished he could have wiped them out with the Starkiller.

“Sir, this way.” A stormtrooper beckoned Hux and the remaining Starkiller officers away from the riot.

“Captain, are you coming?” Hux demanded.

Phasma’s disdain was palpable. “I’ll stay with my troopers until this is over, General.”

“Kill all the dissidents,” he spat before fleeing towards the castle.

Moving away from the chaos didn’t calm him, though. Someone far more frightening, far more disappointing, awaited him inside.

 

The clang of Phasma’s armor alerted Lieutenant Zaira Dax to the captain’s presence before the towering trooper had rounded the corner. The first order officers were gathered together outside the Supreme Leader’s meeting room. Most had never met him, and few wanted to.

Thankfully, Zaira had always stood a bit back from the crowd.

“How long has he been in there?”

“Oh, a grand total of zero seconds.” Zaira gestured forward as the pacing general came back into view. “It appears the Supreme Leader cares more about the doctor’s reports on Kylo Ren’s condition than the General’s failed project. Not terribly surprising … to everyone except General Hux.”

Captain Phasma, proud and certain as she typically was, now felt shaken. Kylo Ren beaten. The Starkiller blown apart, and with it her stormtroopers. And herself responsible for lowering the shields.

Herself responsible for her troopers’ deaths.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Zaira said quietly, as if reading her friend’s mind. “No stormtrooper is a match for a Wookie’s rage.” She chuckled, lamely. “And hell knows we officers aren’t. If they’d gotten their hands on us, we’d probably have been persuaded to destroy the planet all on our own.”

“FN-2187 led them to us.” Phasma couldn’t help but wonder if FN-2187 had escaped, and she didn’t know why she wanted him alive. But she did, perhaps because no more stormtroopers needed to die. And because she could blame him. He’d led them to her.

“I’m sorry,” Zaira said, feigning surprise.

Phasma snorted. “I don’t need your sympathy, Lieutenant. What I need is…persuasion.”

The younger woman’s eyes widened. “You want to suggest we abandon the simulations again.”

“Supplement.”

“Same to the General.”

“You saw the riot today.”

“Felt it, too.” Zaira touched a scrape on her forehead. Not just on the outside, she dared not add. She’d instantly loved the woman who’d dared speak up, yet knew enough to mourn her passing before Hux had even given the order.

Phasma lowered her voice. “An experienced trooper could have ended that in less than a minute. It took us nearly twenty. If Hux wants to avoid a repeat of FN-2187, he’d best start changing his training sessions.”

“Fair point,” Zaira mused, watching Hux’s hands clench and unclench. He was visibly sweating from over twenty feet away. “But given recent events, he’ll not take the suggestion well.”

Phasma knew that without Lieutenant Zaira searching for her in the trash compactor, she’d have blown up with her troopers. “I’m in no position to be asking for favors, but I’ve seen your…persuasive skills.”

Zaira assessed the General once more. She’d never worked closely with Hux and had no love for the priggish fool. “With him, we’re beyond language skills. I’d have to resort to drastic…physical measures.”

“Are you certain?”

“Pretty darn,” Zaira muttered. Sometimes she wished she wasn’t quite so good at profiling.

“I would of course support your plea for clemency,” said Phasma hesitantly. “If he were conscious, I am sure Kylo Ren would as well.”

“Kylo Ren would support a Rathtar over Hux.” Zaira straightened her shoulders as the doctors exited the Supreme Leader’s chambers. Hux swept past them with his nose in the air, into his sure-to-be-unfortunate meeting.

Taking on General Hux, forcing him to change his training methods to keep more stormtroopers alive – oh, Lieutenant Zaira Dax wanted no more deaths, she truly did.

_I don’t want anyone else to die, she said._

“I would support a Rathtar training my soldiers over Hux. At least then they’d be prepared,” Phasma said coldly.

 _You need to prepare – the weapon is charging – we’re aiming for you next_ –

By advocating for more seasoned stormtroopers, she would be endangering more lives.

And if her persuasion backfired and she wound up interrogated…they would know.

_I don’t want anyone else to die._

She cared about the stormtroopers – pitied them, really. She’d barely been able to contain her ecstasy when news of FN-2187’s betrayal broke. She just cared about the Resistance more.

But she still cared about the stormtroopers.

“Of course I’ll do everything in my power,” Zaira promised her friend.

She felt like kicking herself.

 

“ _General_!”

Hux hated when Snoke used that tone of voice. The intense anger reminded him of his childhood. “Supreme Leader, I – ”

“Your weapon is gone. Your troops in disarray. They have the map, the advantage. Tell me, do you possess anything of _use_ to me?” Snoke slowly shook his head.

“We have two thousand more stormtroopers in preparation on Khar Delba. Within the month they will have completed their training.” Hux knew his reply was paltry at best.

He hadn’t scavenged that wayward fool’s body off his life dream for no appreciation!

“You are angry,” Snoke intoned.

“At the Resistance,” Hux said properly. “I would have liked to end them.”

“We will,” Snoke purred. “With or without your ideas.”

Hux bristled. “I – ”

“I’m aware of the altercation that took place outside my headquarters.”

“A few disgruntled villagers who thought it worthwhile to mock the First Order. My stormtroopers put them in their place.”

“Did they?”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.” Hux stood still. He didn’t want to so much as breathe, lest he make a mistake.

Snoke leaned forward, practically staring into the General’s soul. It thrilled Hux.

“Your program is lacking, General. With the traitor, the girl’s escape, and the destruction of the weapon, something must change. We cannot allow the Resistance – the chaos of the Light – to overtake us.”

“It won’t. How can chaos defeat your sublime methods.”

“Where there is disaster, there is opportunity,” Snoke continued, barely listening to him. “You’ll spend the month aiding Kylo Ren’s final training. And when your stormtroopers graduate next month, you’ll have devised a plan to better prepare them the battle.”

“Absolutely, Supreme Leader,” Hux said eagerly.

“You may go.” Snoke waved his hand.

Hux strode out with more pride than he felt.

 

 _His father’s hands caressed his face, slid off his face, fell and fell and fell_ –

Kylo Ren awoke and wished he hadn’t.

For General Hux glowered at him.

Hux’d rescued him, Kylo realized. He’d rather have been picked up by an angry Wookie –

Chewie’s howl burst in his ears and he wanted to scream. He felt weak, helpless, shamed.

“You’re welcome, Ren.” Hux could barely contain his satisfaction.

Kylo glared and said nothing else.

Hux walked closer to the bed, looking like a cat waiting to pounce.

“In other news, you appear to have satisfied the Supreme Leader.”

Kylo flinched even as his pride rose.

Hux’s blue eyes glittered. “Why Ren, are you feeling sad about killing the enemy?”

“I would never feel for enemies of the Supreme Leader,” Kylo managed. And he had to mean it. There was no going back. He was truly Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren forevermore. Dull; it felt dull and hollow.

“Excellent. You’ll be out of bed in three days, and then you’ll be able to end the Jedi Order or whatever else Snoke has planned for you.”

“Jealous, General?”

“You’ll have to forgive me if it’s hard to feel jealous of a man beat by a traitor and a girl, whose face is split in two.” Hux peered closer. He’d never seen Ren without his mask before the rescue, and he rather enjoyed the humanity of his rival. Humanity could always be beaten.

“It’s likely easier than to be jealous of a man whose life’s work betrays him and destroys his weapon.”

“I couldn’t have managed without your incompetence.”

“If you have no more business here, perhaps you should be thinking on rebuilding your program.” Kylo wanted to scream, _Leave! Leave! Leave!_ He wanted to smash things with – not his lightsaber. The clean one. The one that the girl had stolen. He wanted that one.

The clean one. The non-patricidal one.

“Get out, General,” he growled.

“My pleasure,” Hux said sweetly.

With the General gone, Kylo surveyed his surroundings. Sparsely furnitured, just his bed and a table on which a doctor’s kit lay. Pristine and clean, the room was.

He couldn’t stand it. He wanted to cut himself through with a lightsaber, to singe off the rotten sentiment he felt inside. He would cut his own heart out if the weakness would end.

But Kylo Ren was trapped in a makeshift hospital room, in the presence of his very Master, while he still wavered between the dark and the light. He could only bite his lip until he bled salty red, dig his fingers into his palms, disfigure himself further, a testament that yes, he deserved to be hurt.

 

“Keep interviewing the villagers,” Hux snapped. “If anyone indicates this riot was planned, get all the information you can, then shoot them.”

“Yes, sir,” said a trooper.

“We cannot afford another display of weakness,” Hux emphasized.

“Yes, sir,” repeated the trooper.

Hux stormed off towards his room. The day was nearly spent, and his eyelids wanted nothing more than to close. He wasn’t sure he could in good conscience allow himself sleep, however. He couldn’t afford it, and the insanity that lurked in his mind’s closet whispered that he deserved the pain of sleep deprivation.

Still, he yanked open the door to tiny room. It screeched something awful, and he almost felt like bursting into tears. Couldn’t one thing go right?

A dark figure thrust him back against his door so violently the general’s teeth shuddered. In another swift motion he was on the floor.

“Cease!” Hux scrambled to his feet, yanking his now rumpled jacket into place.

He blinked. He knew this woman. Not that he could recall her name. He just knew her as the officer he didn’t like, the officer who occasionally laughed at inappropriate times, who got dreamy eyed when they passed a starfield, who dyed her hair silver-purple to be different. Captain Phasma’s friend.

“What is the meaning of this?” he snarled. Of course someone who dyed her hair would prove difficult.

Her answer was a swift kick to his groin.

Hux gasped as she easily flipped him upside down and pinned his feet against the wall.

With a punch to her knee cap he was free – only to see a blaster pointed directly at his face.

Zaira Dax’s expressionless face stared back at him.

She could kill him now. End the ruthless miscreant who’d killed millions.

Or she could help the stormtroopers. She could keep her word to Phasma, the murderous, motherly captain she considered a friend. The captain she willingly betrayed.

 _Justice_ , her mind cried. _But where was justice_?


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zaira confronts Hux, Poe watches over his buddy, and Kylo continues to suffer.

           

_Where’s Phasma?” Zaira shoved Han Solo – Han Solo himself – against the wall._

_A Wookie’s arm swept her against the wall so hard her teeth rattled._

_“She hasn’t checked in,” Zaira wheezed, squirming in Chewbacca’s hairy grasp. “It has to be you.”_

_“Who the hell are you?” Han asked, holding a bag of very obvious explosives away from her._

_“I’m the reason you know our location and plans for the Ileenian system,” Zaira pled. “And the reason our motion sensors haven’t lit you up yet.”_

_“Well, Reason, right now your delay is jeopardizing our fleet,” Han said in exasperation._

_“For goodness’ sake, just tell me and I’ll be on my way! You can go with the Force or whatever it takes and blow us up to your heart’s content.”_

_Han considered the odd officer in front of him. “Her armor’s facing off against a trash compactor, all right?”_

_Zaira’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”_

_Chewbacca’s arm released her and she rushed off, giddy at finally meeting the famous smuggler._

Good luck _, she wanted to call over her shoulder, but she didn’t dare alert any patrols._

_She’d never have imagined he’d be gone within ten minutes._

 

 “I’m actually not here to kill you,” Zaira said, almost apologetically. She hoped the Resistance, she hoped Han Solo’s blood, would forgive her.

 “Then why _are_ you here? And I hope you’re aware that assaulting a superior officer is a crime of severest proportions,” spluttered the general.

 She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I believe you require us all to review protocol training annually.”

 “So what. Are. You. Doing.” The General practically bit off every word.

 “Proving a point. Not mine, for the record. But the fact remains that your stormtrooper program is weak.”

Hux gasped. First Snoke, whose opinion he revered, and now this girl, who was clearly beneath him. All in one day! “Forgive me if I don’t permit my inferiors to break into my quarters and threaten me.”

 “Of course,” she agreed, “but I’m not asking for your permission.”

 He lunged for the blaster, but she ducked and jammed the barrel into his throat. Choking, he stumbled backwards.

 “You designed disarmament simulations, yet you can’t even follow them?”

 “That’s not my typical duty,” he rasped.

 “Was the riot today their typical duty? It’s a war out there, General. Typical doesn’t quite cover it.”

 Hux narrowed his eyes. “You’ve been bought off by Phasma, haven’t you? You’re close to her.”

“No … but yes, we’re close.” Zaira swallowed. Her palms began to sweat. She wished she planned specifics to her ideas. “But if you’re so suspicious, you could try to arrest Phasma for my actions, but I’d deny it and anyhow, I think that might make _you_ look ridiculous. Don’t pretend Ren will use his mind tricks to help you, either.”

Hux opened his mouth, but she cut him off.

“Speaking of Ren, we’re in dangerous times. He’s only going to gain more power after killing his own father. Do you really think _you_ are safe from him?”

“Kylo Ren would not sabotage the First Order for a petty difference,” Hux said coldly. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized how preposterous he sounded.

Lieutenant Dax’s thick eyebrows had risen practically to her hairline. “Have the last few days addled your mind?”

“I’m not the one holding a gun on my superior officer.”

 Zaira narrowed her eyes. “Sir, you really like that word ‘superior.’ Are you that insecure?”

Hux’s mouth dropped. “That’s enough from you.”

 “I’ll give you the blaster,” Zaira said quickly, silently castigating herself for sassing him. She couldn’t afford to lose against Hux. “I just need you to allow your stormtroopers access to hands-on training.”

 He glared at her.

 “And, if you think about it,” she added desperately, “you’ll benefit from this, too.”

 “And just how will I do that?” His voice was icier than the Starkiller.

 “Well, with everything that happened, some change is in order. You’ll look like a wiser leader who learns from – who learns as things change,” Zaira said. “Wiser, perhaps, than Kylo Ren.”

Hux’s eyes glimmered.

Yes, she realized, ambition was the way to reach this man.

“I’d also appreciate not being arrested, since I doubt you’d want to embolden any insubordinates or seem weak,” she added. “But I’d rather the Stormtroopers get better training regardless of my fate.”

“So selfless,” Hux said sarcastically. “I don’t like different officers, Zaira.”

“No one does. I got this job partially because I have useful friends,” Zaira admitted carefully. “Don’t pretend you’ve never used people before.”

Hux smirked. Perhaps she was less different than she seemed.

“Hand over your weapon, leave now, and I’ll consider sparing you.”

“Not enough! What of my proposal?!”

“I’ll also consider that,” he said irritably.

She held out the blaster.

He yanked it closer, dragging her forward. Staring down into her eyes, Hux said, “If you put one more foot out of line – in fact, if you so much as dye your hair another frivolous color – I’ll have you executed by torture.”

Zaira gulped. “Will it at least be torture by perfectly trained stormtroopers?”

Hux shoved her back.

“Get out,” he hissed. “Lieutenant Das.”

“It’s Dax, Zaira Dax.”

Now there really was murder in Hux’s blue eyes. “Not a name I’d need to remember, is it?”

“Good night,” she said quickly, though from the circles under his eyes, he wasn’t much of a sleeper.

When the door shut him alone in his quarters, Hux briefly considered following her and shooting the blaster. She wouldn’t mock him then, would she?

No, he was not Ren. He was no murderer.

Uneasy, Hux turned the blaster over in his hands, only to see that the weapon had never been charged to begin with.

 

Poe Dameron had his buddy’s limp hands clasped in his own when BB-8 rolled up to him. A series of bleeps and bloops informed him that he was wanted in the control room.

“Of course,” Poe said, rising to his feet.

 _Bleep-bloop-beep-eep_.

“Finn’s resting. He’ll be fine again soon,” Poe said.

_Beep-bleep._

“I hope so, too.” With a last glance at his friend, the savior of the resistance and his own life, Poe followed the droid.

General Leia Organa, Admirals Ackbar and Statura, and C-3PO stood around a table where a hologram of Colonel Dax was speaking.

“Nice to see you, Poe,” she said with a nod.

Poe nodded in reply.

Zaira didn’t like the sight of Poe, welcome as it was. But he’d been held aboard the _Finalizer_ , and she’d been helpless to save him without jeopardizing her own mission. For his part, he’d had no idea the Resistance had a spy aboard until returning miraculously alive. She had no idea if he now resented her for not saving him from capture or torture, and wasn’t sure she blamed him if he did.

“So the citizens aren’t pleased about this defeat,” Leia said

“They won’t have much of a choice now. Until Snoke decides to move next month.”

“But you know where you are,” Statura said.

“We could assemble a fleet and –”

 Zaira cut Poe off. “Unfortunately, I think Hux and Ren are the only people who actually know where we are. Otherwise, all I have for you is ‘the Outer Rim.’”

 Leia caught her breath at the mention of Kylo Ren. Her son. Poe could never quite reconcile his torturer to the shy child he’d known as a kid.

 “How is he?” she asked, unsure.

 “Ren?”

Leia tried not to flinch at the name. Too close to her son’s.

“He’s, um, recovering …from a bowcaster shot and battling with the girl,” said Zaira nervously. She really had no idea whether Leia still loved her son.

 Leia nodded. “Thank you, Colonel.”

 “Of course.” Zaira hesitated. “There’s something else you should know. The stormtroopers are likely about to undergo new training methods.”

 “Because of Finn?” Poe felt oddly protective of his friend. _Well, he is unconscious_.

 “Is that his name now?” Zaira asked, eyes wide. “Good for him. Yes, Finn, and the fact that we couldn’t stop the attack on that massive death machine.”

 “Do you know what these trainings will be?” Ackbar leaned forward.

 “Some sort of physical combat training. A supplement to Hux’s simulations.” Zaira feared confessing that she’d catalyzed these changes at risk of her mission. Her complicity would just be one more secret she’d need to live with. “If I glean any more information, I’ll pass it along.”

“We appreciate it,” Leia said slowly. For the first time, she felt the niggling sensation that her spy was holding something back.

“We’d appreciate it more if you could discern your location,” Poe said, crossing his arms.

“I would love nothing more. I am doing my best,” Zaira said. If she wasn’t arrested for accosting Hux in the morning, she’d love nothing more.

“Well, we have some much-needed good news for you!” said C-3PO.

Zaira raised her eyebrows. She rarely spoke to the haughty 3PO. “I’m listening.”

“R2 has awoken!” proclaimed the golden droid. If he could have beamed with his mouth, he would have been brighter than a sun.

“And with him the map,” said Leia gravely. “Rey, Chewy, and R2 are on their way.”

“Though we daren’t tell you,” added Ackbar.

“Please don’t. But I’m grateful you’ve shared this much,” Zaira said warmly.

“We should go soon,” said Leia.

 Zaira glanced at the door behind her. “Yes, the guard should be making his rounds back again soon.”

 She switched off the small hologram machine. The grainy image vanished.

 Poe turned to head back to the medical unit.

 “Heading back to Finn?” Leia asked gently.

 “Of course.”

 “You’re a good friend.”

 Poe nodded awkwardly. He didn’t want to admit to his idol that he wanted to kill her son for hurting his friend.

 Leia smiled sadly. “I’ll join you for a while.”

 Poe gestured towards the orange and white droid at his feet. “BB-8’s great company.”

 She laughed. “That he is, but so are people.”

 Finn was the same as when Poe’d left, not that he’d expected much different.

“It angers me,” Leia said.

“Pardon, General?”

“What he did to him.” She gestured towards Finn. “And you. And the millions of the Republic.”

“And to …” Poe couldn’t quite say Han’s name, not aloud.

“His father,” Leia supplied. She laughed, hollowly. “Am I crazy if I say I’d forgive him all of it, if only he would come home? I don’t expect anyone else to forgive him. But for what he’s done me, I forgive him and miss him.”

Poe wasn’t sure why the general was telling him this. Sleep deprivation? Stress? “I mean … he is alive, at least. Perhaps there is still hope.”

“I can still feel the light in him. Even now. And it infuriates me,” Leia confessed.

Poe shook his head. “I think it infuriates him, too.”

“I just wish that I could show him that – that it’s never too late. Look at Finn. After all those years of brainwashing, he saved you. Is it foolish of me, a general, to dream that my son would someday do the same?”

Poe’s trusty instincts declared that, well, Finn had never killed his father and betrayed his family. But, perhaps. Perhaps. “No, never.”

They’d survived a third death star even when the light had completely drained from the sun. It was never too late.

In Poe’s peripheral vision, Finn’s hands moved.

 

 Zaira desperately needed to sleep, but her mind didn’t agree.

She’d only ever served on the Starkiller and the _Finalizer_. She couldn’t help but fret that the dark side had already informed Snoke that a spy was in his midst.

So the next morning, as she staggered towards the makeshift headquarters in which Hux would be doling out their new assignments, she nearly didn’t see Phasma until the Captain stepped directly in front of her.

“Oh, hi.” Zaira blinked.

“I don’t wish to know what you did, but I’ve been informed that there’s to be changes in the stormtrooper program,” Phasma said in a low voice.

Zaira’s eyes widened. Hux had kept his word. “Thank heavens.”

“He was also limping.”

Zaira winced. “I didn’t mean to go _that_ far.”

“It becomes him,” Phasma said dryly. Normally she would never consider mocking her leader, but her patience had ended when her stormtroopers were blown to pieces. She brushed past Zaira. “Now, I have to make my morning rounds.”

“Say hi to your children for me,” Zaira teased.

Phasma stopped. “They’re not my children.”

“No, but you think of them that way. I mean that as a compliment.” She had no idea why she was being so bold. Perhaps her tussle with Hux had loosened her sanity.

“You’re about to be late, Lieutenant.”

Zaira gasped. She hated tardiness on any day, and after last night, she could not afford this.

She bolted down the hallway, past a gaggle of guards, and into their makeshift command center.

“You’re late,” muttered Lieutenant Mitaka.

“Thank you for informing me.” Mitaka was still bitter that he’d been chosen to report to Kylo Ren last week instead of her. Not that she really blamed him. She’d always avoided Kylo for fear of him reading her thoughts, but that had meant far too many moments of choking and anxiety for Mitaka.

General Hux strutted in front of his officers. “In light of recent … unfortunate events, all of you will be reassigned. Colonel Datoo, you will be in charge of tracing all ships passing even remotely near the Ileenian system. Rodinon, with Datoo.”

Rodinon gulped as Datoo glared at him. Rumor was he’d abandoned his post when the Starkiller collapsed, but no officers had been willing to back up Datoo’s claims. Datoo was more disliked than Hux, and considerably less respected.

As he droned on, Zaira became more and more uneasy. Hux had assigned all Lieutenants but her. Was she to be demoted? Arrested? Would Kylo Ren suddenly recover and read her mind?

“Lieutenant Dax,” the general said at last. “You will accompany myself and Captain Phasma to OHS1782-03 to assist in the new stormtrooper training requirements. We deploy in twenty minutes, so I suggest you ready yourself.”

“Yes, sir,” Zaira said with curious relief. Out of the Supreme Leader and Kylo Ren’s presence, perhaps she had a chance.

 

“Your training begins tomorrow morning, sir.” A nurse nodded at Kylo before placing food in front of him.

To her relief, he didn’t acknowledge her.

His stomach knotted up. How disappointed would the Supreme Leader be? At him, failing to retrieve the girl, failing to acquire the map, failing to kill a traitor and a scavenger.

Did the Supreme Leader care that he’d been injured?

_He’d known this day would come. He’d dreaded it, to be honest with himself. But then, Kylo Ren was rarely honest with himself._

_His hand held out the lightsaber, and he almost wanted to scream and beg and sob for Han to take it, take it quickly and throw it below._

_But he didn’t, and Kylo’s hands shook and shook, his grip tightened –_

_And then it was done, and his father’s hands caressed his face, slid off his face, fell and fell and fell_ –

_And he knew he could never go back._

General Leia – not mother, never mother to Kylo Ren – did she care that he was hurt? Did she like it?

 _Probably_ , he told himself. He’d killed her husband, and he’d wanted to. He was relieved now. _He could never go back._

But the Light … it remained, calling him.

 _I’m a mess_. He wanted to implode like Starkiller Base.

 

            On board the considerably less populated _Finalizer_ , General Hux sat at a table, eyeing the chrome-clad stormtrooper and improperly-haired officer across from him.

“I don’t pretend to know what kind of agreement you two made, and I don’t want to,” he began. “But if anything like last night happens again, I will have you both torn apart in the most painful way possible.”

“Noted,” Zaira said nervously.

Phasma said nothing.

“Lieutenant, I think it best if you proceed with one hour trainings starting at sunrise, before their simulations. You’ll give another training after sunset, at the end of the day. I expect full reports, detailed to the utmost. Be merciless, and train them to be so.”

Such power. Zaira couldn’t help but entertain the notion of training the stormtroopers to be merciful. Subtlety, perhaps she could help them be like FN-2187.

“ _Any hints of empathy must be stomped out, no matter how skilled the trooper_.” Hux hated himself for having to say so. For not caring about FN-2187’s warning signs. He could not endure another failure.

“I will do my best, sir.”

“Not your best. You will do it. We must have perfection,” Hux insisted.

“Yes, sir,” Zaira lied.

“At the end of a week, Captain Phasma will report any changes, good or bad, in the stormtroopers, and we’ll decide how to continue your program from there.”

“Thank you for this opportunity, sir.”

“This meeting is dismissed.” Hux stood, and the officers filed out of the room.

Some minutes later, Zaira found herself staring outside at the stars flying by. How many stars were there in the world? How many had she seen and never noticed their planets, their planet’s moons, their inhabitants? Were people like stars, easy to fly by and full of depth?

Yes, she thought so, despite what the Imperial Academy had taught her. Despite the war, despite the crimes of the First Order, despite her father’s crimes for the Resistance. Perhaps – perhaps she could feel angry at him, perhaps she could care about the members of the First Order, yet serve the Resistance.

Or, perhaps not. Perhaps everything was clear and she was not.

“I appreciate ambition in my officers, Lieutenant.” Hux appeared beside her.

Zaira stared at him. He thought she’d done this to promote her career.

“I used to be like you. I too have done secret things to gain this ground.” He gestured towards the general’s insignia on his uniform.

“Sir?”

Hux looked directly into her eyes. “I can promise you, you will never be as ruthless as me. You do not have the right look, the skills, the breeding. _You will not usurp my authority again._ ”

Zaira’s mouth opened.

“General,” she said as forcefully as she could while maintaining a respectful tone. “I – I assure you, my only concern in our confrontation was for the First Order.”

“I don’t believe you,” he hissed.

“You don’t have to. It’s the truth. And the fact that you have agreed to my proposition makes me _respect_ you all the more.” Surely he would fall prey to a little flattery.

Hux stepped back, unsure.

“I think you will find I meet all your demands from last night and today, General. I am not fond of treason.” She looked up into those proud, ravenous, despairing ice blue eyes.

“Your hair, Lieutenant.”

She ran a hand through her thick waves. “If I can’t dye it, I might as well change my hairstyle.”

Hux scowled. “I don’t give a damn what you do to your appearance. So long as you don’t embarrass the First Order.”

Zaira tilted her head. “Is this harassment, General?”

Hux’s pale face turned pink. How dare she? Cunning and ambition the general could tolerate, so long as it didn’t bother him. But he’d demoted more than one officer for harassment before. He could not allow such disorder under his command.

“I would never do that. I was merely correcting – ending – my order from last night. The hair dye. The rest of my demands remain.”

“Thank you, sir.” With a bob of her head, she turned back to the window.

“Watching the stars? There’s nothing to see. It’s all the same.” He turned to the window. He ought to know this officer better, determine her sincerity, her worth.

“Would you rather I lie and say I agree, or confess that I think you’re wrong?” Zaira asked softly.

Hux was taken aback. “I’d rather you agree and mean it, Lieutenant.”

Zaira stepped forward, closing her eyes. She felt the ship hurtling forward, felt herself leave her body for a moment, felt freedom amongst the lie she led. “But I don’t.”

She opened her eyes, glancing sideways towards the General. “If I meant to replace you, I assure you I would grovel to your every command.”

Hux swallowed. Grovel, like he did for Snoke.

There was something different about this officer, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, still no Rey. I assure you, she will eventually appear and make her presence known. And there will be many Reylo feels.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo continues to condemn himself, a mishap with tea, and the return of Rey.

Chapter Three

 

“The scavenger _beat_ you.”

Kylo’s stomach flopped. “With our training, I will not be defeated again.”

“She beat you before the forest,” Snoke reminded him. “Resisting you, escaping from under your nose – your underestimation caused this. You are weak, petulant, like a baby.”

Kylo stared at the floor. Not that Snoke could see him behind his mask.

“I overestimated your maturity,” said Snoke with disgust.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I was weak and foolish,” Kylo pled.

“But you are now stronger,” purred Snoke, that familiar tone he’d heard since he was old enough to remember. “You have beaten your father’s poison.”

“Because of your wisdom, Supreme Leader.”

“I knew you had the darkness in you.” Snoke smiled, and despite the hideous sight, Kylo could not have felt more happy.

 _It was worth it_ , he thought. _I am free_.

The Sith Code he’d learned years ago echoed in his mind. _My chains are broken. The Force shall free me._

“Now,” said Snoke with the same proud tone, “we will attend to the last step of your training.

“The Resistance,” Kylo said.

“In a manner of speaking,” Snoke said. “They have the map, thanks to you. You must redeem your mistake.”

“I will not fail you,” Kylo promised, instantly hating himself again. How many had died because of his oversight? No, he couldn’t be sentimental over death. What was wrong with him?

“You will train daily with me to destroy the Jedi forever,” Snoke growled. “Once we find where the old Jedi has been hiding – and we will – you will end him, along with the girl. Without the Jedi and the Republic, the Resistance shall have no one to turn to. They will fall, and the Galaxy will be ours.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“In the meantime, I have another task for you. You must prove yourself a competent leader after your humiliating defeat.”

Kylo’s face burned. He waited as Snoke rummaged through his mind. It barely hurt anymore.

“You’re right,” Snoke murmured. “There is no going back. The light was Han Solo, and it has died a violent death by our hands.”

Kylo didn’t want to think another thought, lest he disappoint the Supreme Leader. _No, I can’t disappoint him. I killed it. It._

Apparently satisfied, Snoke leaned back in his chair. “You are dismissed, for today. You’re weaker than expected; training must be pushed back a day.”

“I can begin today.”

“No!” Snoke’s enormous eyes flashed. “Now that the General is off training new stormtroopers, you’ll be running the First Order. See to that today, _boy_.”

Kylo swallowed. “Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

The Supreme Leader was wise. He had never been wrong before, and he believed in Kylo Ren.

Back in his quarters, sparse and empty, save for the helmet – had Hux, of all insufferable assholes, remembered it? – Kylo’s legs buckled.

_I can’t do this – I can’t – I will fail and ruin everything! I am bad, don’t you know?_

He killed his father. No, an enemy General. His father.

He was bad! Unsuited to light or dark.

Too afraid to ask even his grandfather for help, for surely Darth Vader was not so weak, Kylo could do nothing but hit himself, over and over and over, until his rage was spent.

He stood up. He had Snoke’s work to do.

 

Zaira was quite certain she’d never heard so many numbers before today. But Phasma had insisted on telling her all the stormtrooper names. Zaira, for her part, felt better about her decision to rescue Phasma every time she noticed her friend’s softer side. Did that make her a terrible person, she wondered, or a good one, provided the Resistance was the good side?

“I’ll try to remember these,” Zaira said.

“We dock tomorrow.” Hux marched into the room, clutching a stack of scribbled papers. “I hope you two’ve developed a suitable syllabus.”

“We have, General,” said Phasma.

“Wonderful,” he said curtly. “Captain Phasma, if you’ll leave us.”

Phasma rose as Hux opened his mouth again. “As this is your first visit to the stormtrooper trainings, I thought it pertinent to discuss protocol.”

“More so than what the Captain’s told me?”

Hux took the seat across from her. “Yes. It’s imperative that we raise competent, faithful soldiers.”

“Certainly,” Zaira agreed. “I’m aware that compassion is not to be tolerated among them.”

“Indeed.” He shuffled the papers in his hands. “No discussion of the Starkiller shall be permitted. If the troopers are caught mentioning that unfortunate event, make sure to mention that the Resistance caused this. And take note of the offending stormtroopers’ numbers. Report them to the Captain immediately.”

“I’m confused,” said Zaira, wondering if she was going too far, if she would give away her secret.

Hux frowned. “What could possibly be confusing about my orders?”

“Sir, if compassion isn’t to be tolerated, how can you possibly hope to stir their anger over the destruction of Starkiller Base?”

“Our enemies ruined a technological marvel; is that not reason enough?” Hux snapped.

Zaira tilted her head, taking in the young man before her. “Why are you upset about it?”

“For the reason I just stated.”

“The loss of life means nothing to you?”

“It was not my primary concern. Life cannot be for a man in my position, Lieutenant.”

Zaira leaned forward. “Seems strange, then, that Captain Phasma informed me that many of the heavily edited footage you feed the trainees focuses on the need for the First Order to restore and save the lives of those in the galaxy.”

“ _What is your point, Lieutenant_?”

“I’m confused; that’s my point!” she snapped. “Gracious, if we’re on the right side, and we have to doctor videos and forbid compassion unless it’s suitable to our needs – that just seems…hazy.”

“Hazy?” Hux asked tersely.

“Yes. Hazy. As in morally questionable.”

“This is war. Our best weapon just exploded,” Hux ranted. “This is no time to question right and wrong.”

“I couldn’t disagree more!” Her voice rose.

“Well, that means nothing, as I already question your judgment. Like your foppish idea that your position is safe here.” He stood.

“I apologize for my tone. I respect you as General,” Zaira said quickly.

Hux stepped closer, stared down at her without blinking. “I don’t think you do.”

Her heart pounded. She’d prided herself on standing out, questioning leaders and taking risks, unlike most spies. Those very characteristics had landed her this job, but perhaps they would also be her downfall.

“If you think about it, I wouldn’t question you unless I cared enough to respect you.”

“Yes, that seems to be your handy excuse.” Finally, he blinked. “Well, I’m not sure I trust you. And I’m not about to have my operation fail because of your noncompliance.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. I hope to prove you wrong.”

“I don’t fail, Lieutenant.” His anger failed to mask the anxiety. He had never been allowed failure, and he wouldn’t make an exception now.

Except the Starkiller. He swallowed.

“Proving you wrong – that I can be trusted to competently train your stormtroopers – won’t be failure, I’m sure,” Zaira tested.

“I don’t care what you call it. Just don’t disappoint me.” Hux glared at her.

She bit her lip. “I have no intention of letting you down, sir.”

“Excellent. Now leave.”

“At once, sir.” Zaira hurried out of the room, praying to the Force itself that she would not see Hux again until they docked.

Not that the Force had ever helped her. In fact, she rather despised that impersonal, favorite-playing essence. Yet she was also willing to try anything that would help her.

Hux slammed his fist on his speech. How could he encourage these young trainees when they’d just lost a battle? And he’d been their leader.

Rumors had to spread, even among the most disciplined stormtroopers-in-training. Gossip was common during his time in the Imperial Academy, that he remembered.

Would they hate him? Mock him? A pang hit his heart.

Athbar had mocked him. _Daddy’s pet, sleaze, waste of space, bookworm destined to die on the front lines_.

And yet, when they’d received their assignments to kill a classmate, Athbar was the one who balked. Hux hadn’t hesitated to kill Athbar. He’d shown Athbar, his teachers, everyone – he’d shown them all that he was capable of greatness.

Hux squirmed. He had to go on. Do this. Being sent from the Supreme Leader showed his skills, not that Snoke didn’t believe in him.

He would kill Kylo Ren if he could, if Snoke would admire him.

“General?”

Hux’s hands shook with fury and fear. He gripped his papers tighter. “What is it now, Lieutenant?”

Zaira stared at him. “Are you all right?”

“Was that all you wanted to ask?” Hux barked.

“I have a very agitated hologram of Colonel Datoo wishing to speak with you.”

Hux thought he might explode as he followed Lieutenant Dax to the _Finalizer’s_ shiny control room. No, no, he was not Kylo Ren. His enemy. He would crush his enemy, like Athbar. He crushed all who stood in his way. He succeeded. He was General, after all.

“Sir, are you aware that, in your absence, Kylo Ren has been put in charge of the First Order?” blustered Datoo.

 _What_? Hux’s mind spun. He was still in charge, wasn’t he?

“Of course I’m aware,” he snapped.

“He’s injured and foolish. We’ll head to disaster.”

“We’ve already hit disaster; have you forgotten?” Hux asked.

“Well, no, but –”

“I won’t be busy with training for long. In the meantime, you report to Kylo Ren. We mustn’t question the Supreme Leader,” Hux said.

His heart pounded. He felt loose, expendable, needy.

“Is that all?” he snarled.

“Yes, sir,” Datoo said meekly.

Hux clenched his jaw as Datoo’s hologram disappeared. Was he – was he unnecessary?

“General, I’m concerned,” said Zaira suddenly.

“Why are you still _here_?”

“This is my position whenever I’m not planning, if you’ll recall,” she said coldly.

“Wonderful,” he said with venom.

 

Late at night, Hux lay awake, memorizing his latest speech. Well, he told himself he was memorizing it – the truth was that his words would not stop running through his head.

The speech was good, emphasizing the importance of sacrifice, of order, of avenging their fallen comrades. Fuck the Lieutenant’s opinion. Empathy could be useful, too.

A knock on his door startled him.

“Why am I even surprised?” he remarked upon seeing Lieutenant Dax.

“Would you like some tea?”

“What? Have you decided that Ren isn’t enough of a thorn in my ass? I should be sleeping,” he exploded.

“You seem on the verge of hysterics.” She held out a steaming cup.

“That’s not your business.”

Zaira knew she treaded on dangerous ground, but she’d rather risk for information. She couldn’t waste her time close to Hux. Perhaps that would pay her debt for training the troopers.

Be daring, Father would have said. Yelled, really. Daring. Daring she would be.

“It is if you’re the one who’s supposed to be making decisions for myself and others.” She shrugged, almost shyly. “Also, tea always helps me when I need to sleep.”

“And visits during the night don’t,” Hux said.

“With all due respect, sir, you seem more like the type to lie awake with all your anxieties swirling about your mind.”

“Excuse me?”

“Takes one to know one,” Zaira said. “Here.”

Begrudgingly, he took the tea. He wasn’t stupid enough to drink it, though. She might be attempting to poison him. He would not be brought down by niceties.

“I promise it’s not poisoned. I could offer to take a sip, if you’ll feel better.”

Hux scowled. He just wanted her gone. “Unsanitary.”

She failed to stop a snort.

“What was that for?” he demanded.

“Unprofessional of me, sir.”

“Say it.”

She studied her cup, too embarrassed to maintain eye contact. Still, she hoped he’d appreciate her honesty amongst the First Order sycophants. “Do you ever… _not_ have such a stick up your ass?”

Hux sipped the tea. Lemony, and sweet. He didn’t like sweet; his father had hated him for liking it. “I could have you removed at once for that comment.”

“Please don’t. I don’t aim to cause chaos with my candor. I do it to be truthful, nothing more.”

“That would make you the only one,” Hux said suspiciously.

“Well, are lies comforting?”

“Who lies to me? I am a general of the First Order,” he spluttered.

“You lie to yourself. You’re desperate for praise,” Zaira pointed out. “Probably because you had issues with one or both parents as a child.”

“Since when,” Hux said slowly, lest he punch her and spill tea on his clean floor, “did you become a psytech?”

“Talking to them can certainly help us learn about each other,” she said earnestly, “but, the truth is, like I said, takes one to know one.”

“You have overstepped for the last time.”

“I should not have said that. I didn’t mean to offend you,” Zaira said quickly.

“You offend me every minute longer you interrupt me,” he snarled. Memories of his father were flooding his mind.

_You’re pathetic, crying like I hurt you. I’m raising you right, boy!_

He’d just wanted to dress nice for his father. And Commandant Brendol Hux had erupted, saying he’d looked like a disgrace. That he was a disgrace.

_You’re too hard on him, Brendol._

_Look at him, Perra. He’s a disgrace. I’m doing him a favor._

Disgrace. Another memory swooped in. _Don’t disgrace me, boy. If you don’t make it out of training, I’ll wish you’d never been named after me._

 _I had to have praise_ , Hux thought desperately. _I had to, or I would die._

Zaira watched silently. Her General was in agony, yet he said nothing.

“Will you be more or less upset if I leave?”

Hux gaped at her. “Leave! Leave now, you stupid woman!”

She left.

_I am not a disgrace._

“I am not a disgrace,” he whispered to himself.

The tea splashed in his hands as Hux realized he felt…lonely.

 

Zaira felt like throwing herself into the emptiness of space. Her whimsical ideas to charm a charmless man into giving her information, her ideas of making herself more important, more successful, were going to result in her demise.

She rather felt like she deserved it.

 _The Resistance doesn’t_ , she reminded herself. She had to succeed for them, herself and her father be damned.

Dragging herself out of bed in the morning, Zaira walked to the bridge with a pounding heart.

“We’re about to land.” Phasma waved a shiny hand towards a rocky, dull planet ahead.

“Lovely,” Zaira said.

“Zaira, you appear agitated.”

“I tried to show kindness and let my mouth ruin everything,” Zaira answered.

“General Hux doesn’t know kindness,” said Phasma instinctively. Not that she herself did, either. Not that any of them could afford to.

 

“Easy, buddy.” Poe hovered close as Finn attempted to take steps on his own.

“I can make it,” Finn gasped, ignoring the pain shooting down his spine. Rey was alive, Poe was alive, and he was alive – his heart was strong today.

BB-8 booped excitedly, rolling slowly alongside the two men.

“BB was very concerned about you,” Poe told him.

Finn chuckled.

_Beep-bloop-bloop-oop-bleepy-bloop._

“I did not cry,” Poe exclaimed. At Finn’s quizzical glance, he softened. “All right, maybe at first. It was an emotional day, ya know?”

The droid’s response was fast and furious.

“Last night?” Poe flushed. “A little teary-eyed, that’s all!”

 _Beeeeeeeep_ , BB-8 replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

Poe ignored the droid. “I’m just happy you’re awake.”

“So am I,” Finn grunted, concentrating on moving one foot in front of the other. He didn’t want to think about the dreams he’d had. Phasma, Slip, Nines … Awake, he knew his fellow trainees were dead, and probably Phasma too.

And he was fighting against them.

“You worried about Rey?” Poe asked, observing the shadows on his friend’s face.

“Rey can take care of herself.”

Poe pointed his finger. “You’re worried about Rey.”

“I’m worried about Rey,” Finn agreed with a nostalgic grin. The first human to extend a hand to him, the human who’d fought for his life when he’d been wounded, the human who’d hugged him and begged him to stay. He loved her, and he wasn’t even sure what love was. They’d never discussed love in training.

“She can take care of herself, she and Luke and Chewy.”

_Beep-beep!_

“And R2-D2!” Poe added hastily. “All right, where do you want to go, buddy?”

“Outside,” said Finn. “Where I can see the sun.”

“Good idea.”

Finn squinted as bright light flooded his face. “Thought I’d never see sunlight again.”

Poe watched his friend. “Then why – why did you fight him?”

“He hurt Rey,” Finn said, surprised. “I’d never used a lightsaber before, but I had to try. It’d be nice not to use one again, though.”

Poe’s smile was sad. “That’s a beautiful answer – Rey, I mean.”

“I’d never had a friend before,” Finn confessed. But what was Nines, what was Slip, what was Zeroes, if not his friends? _Maybe I’ve always had friends and never known what to call them._

Slip’s blood had saved him, jolted him from his mission on Jakku. Yet Nines had fought him. And who knew what had happened to Zeroes – Finn realized he’d probably never know.

“Well, you’ve got many now!” Poe patted Finn’s shoulder, lest a hug topple the beautiful man before him.

Finn’s eyes raked the outside, where soldiers milled about. Some noticed him and smiled.

People knew who he was, and they liked him. Something like shyness welled within him.

A shout captured their attention.

“A ship’s landing here,” Poe said breathlessly.

Finn’s heart leapt.

“Hey!” Poe yelled at a dark-haired woman hurrying past. “Jessika! Who is it, friend or foe?”

“Looks to be the _Falcon_!” she called back as she raced ahead.

“Rey,” said Finn, hobbling towards the gathering crowd.

“Wow, what a couple of days day – first you wake up, now she’s back!” Poe beamed. “C’mon, I’ll help you.”

Finn decided he ought to be eternally grateful for his pilot friend, who elbowed people out of the way, mumbling “coming through, gotta get through,” for several minutes. The _Millennium Falcon_ was visible now, tantalizingly close to landing.

“Poe, Finn.” Leia smiled at the two, though her anxiety was plain to see. She swallowed and stared ahead, regal as ever. Regal was her only defense.

The ship touched the surface, coming to a stop just twenty paces ahead of Finn. A Wookie waved in the cockpit, clearly pleased to see Finn.

“Chewy,” he whispered, breaking into a huge grin. Poe squeezed his hand.

The door opened. The Resistance held its breath. Their only hope, their salvation, might be inside.

Finn’s friend.

Leia’s brother.

A familiar girl with three brown buns hopped out.

“Rey!” Finn cried, lurching forward.

She whirled around and burst into a smile as bright as her name.

Behind her, a mechanical hand appeared.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke returns, Kylo faces a dreadful discovery, and Zaira pleasingly displeases Hux.

Chapter Four

 

A bearded man Poe’d not seen since he was a child emerged. The shame, the fear to hope, the haunting, all shone on a face that had seen too much.

“Luke,” breathed General Leia. A decade and a half, and she could only whisper his name.

Then his eyes met hers, and no matter all the witnesses, she found herself walking forward to a man who seemed to shrink back from her.

She stopped just in front of him, waiting, watching.

Perhaps she was using the force, thought Poe.

“We need you,” Leia said stiffly. She wanted to say so much more, but wasn’t sure when or how. Seeing him, safe at last – she was hurt, so hurt.

“I needed solitude,” said the Jedi.

“You needed _shelter_. I could have provided that,” Leia replied.

Luke wasn’t sure how to respond, how to tell her that no one could. How to tell her that there was no hope.

“Master Luke! It is so good to see you again!” C-3PO tottered up to him, and Luke couldn’t help but smile at the familiarity.

His gaze traveled the crowd, taking in the unfamiliar faces and droids, all with the same hopeful eyes.

Unfamiliar.

“I’m so sorry about –” Luke could not go on. _Han, Han Solo_. His loss could never be comprehended.

Leia said nothing.

Chewie shoved past Luke, walking towards a well-built, dark young man with outstretched arms.

“Chewie’s not the forgiving sort,” Leia noted wryly.

“Almost ripped my arm off on the way here.”

“Good.” Leia narrowed her eyes. “We should continue this discussion in the command room.”

Luke would have preferred a screaming match than this awkward web, but he felt certain he could do nothing but follow.

“I don’t like your beard,” she said over her shoulder, leading the way towards a small building.

“Rey,” called a voice.

“Finn!” exclaimed Rey, dashing at last towards her friends. “You’re awake!”

She stopped just before him. Should she hug him? Was that the correct protocol, even though he’d been injured? She couldn’t recall ever being hugged before Leia.

“You can hug him,” Poe said slyly, placing a hand on Finn’s shoulder. Still, his stomach sank as he spoke.

Rey flushed. “Of course.”

After an awkward embrace, Poe said, “Well, Rey, I suppose you and I had better go join the general.”

“What about me?” Finn asked, aghast.

“You’re still recovering,” Rey hissed.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll recover better once I know what’s going on,” Finn insisted.

“You’ll always be Finn,” quipped Poe, and the three chuckled together on their way inside as BB-8 rolled around their feet.

 

“So what’s he like?” Finn asked, lying back down on his hospital bed that night. The briefing of the legendary Jedi had lasted for what seemed like forever, not that he’d been counting, though Poe had.

Rey’s eyes lit up. “Kind … sad … a good man.”

“Must be nice to meet a force user who isn’t made of evil,” said Poe.

Rey snorted. “Yes, it is.” She grew quiet. “It was so strange, meeting a legend, and seeing him just a man afraid of his family.”

She could never relate. She grieved her family, the family she couldn’t even remember.

“But he’s a good man,” she repeated.

“Do you think he can save us?” asked Finn.

“No,” Rey said firmly. “I think he can help. And I can. We all can.”

“All of us don’t have the force,” said Finn wistfully.

“Don’t need it. You have insider knowledge, I have pilot skills. We got this war,” Poe said with as much bluster as he could manage.

A chirp interrupted him. Rey laughed. She seemed so much more self-assured than Finn remembered.

“I’d never forget you! BB-8, you’re essential,” Poe cried.

 _Blooooooop_.

 

Zaira twisted violently to escape her attacker. RT-3131 swung a flamethrower at her while hurling a knife with another hand, a skillful move Zaira barely avoided.

A barrel of trash behind her exploded from the flames, sending shrapnel flying. RT-3131 flinched, granting Zaira the opening she needed. Her kick caught the stormtrooper’s flamethrower, sending the weapon scuttling across the dusty ground.

Ducking, she used her legs to send 3131 sprawling.

“Stop.” Phasma stepped forward as the savage scene around them faded into a white room.

RT-3131 pulled off her helmet, revealing a pretty, freckled young woman. Her eyes widened when she noticed that the panting Zaira had not disappeared.

“Captain,” she gasped. “I was not expecting a real person.”

“In a month, you will only see real people,” Phasma said coldly. “Get up. Send 3180 in.”

“Yes, Captain,” said the girl quickly as Zaira watched, not without sympathy.

“Don’t pity them for their bravery,” Phasma said.

There was so much Zaira wanted to say. She wanted to shake her friend from head to toe, to demand _how forced soldiers could ever be brave, when they’d never had a chance to be otherwise_!

Then again, she could say the same for herself.

Shivering off the thought, Zaira simply climbed to her feet and readied herself back in position.

            Two hours later, Zaira and General Hux stared at a door, in which Phasma was reaming out her latest stormtrooper crop.

            “I don’t think the Captain is pleased,” Zaira said to break the silence.

            “ _I’m_ not pleased,” snapped Hux. “These troops aren’t anything like the FN group. They’re terrible.”

            “They’re _great_ ,” Zaira said. “They just needed another push. If all they think is that they’re facing simulations, that’s all they’ll fight as.”

            “They should know to fight with all they have by now.”

            “People can always reach new limits,” Zaira replied. Take herself, for instance, reaching new lows here. “For instance, I just passed the limit of respecting my superior officers last night.”

Hux glanced at her. “I thought you passed that when you threatened me with a blaster.”

“Surely you discovered it was unloaded.”

“Why do you think you’re still alive?”

Zaira softened.

“Because I have something to offer someone? Or _someones_ ,” she added, nodding in the direction of the door.

“There was no need to answer that,” Hux said, fidgeting.

“I wanted to.”

“I’m alive for this.” After a moment, Hux gestured towards the door. “For the First Order. For the galaxy.”

For the galaxy? The galaxy, where they’d murdered billions of souls? Zaira couldn’t look Hux in the eyes.

Wait. Was he being open with her? _General Hux_?

“What made you want to live for the galaxy?” Zaira asked, hardly daring to breathe.

Hux opened his mouth, but she would never know if he meant to answer or shut her up, for the door at last swung open. Phasma stormed out, followed by sixteen downcast trainees.

 

“Why?”

Luke couldn’t bear to look into his sister’s eyes. The table he sat at was plenty interesting, cracked and splintered like the world.

“How could you leave us, _for fifteen years_ , when we needed you?!”

“How could I not?” Luke burst out. “Leia, I couldn’t save your son. I couldn’t save any of the children. Their parents entrusted me, you entrusted me, with children. How many more would there have been?”

“Maybe none, but you’ll never know,” Leia said, fighting tears.

Water flowed free down Luke’s cheeks. “New children, new hope, new death. I couldn’t help them, and I can’t help you. I even saved our father when it was too late.”

“No,” Leia said. “He saved you. He helped end the Sith. He was a terrible man, but you saved him when it counted.”

“But the children,” Luke whispered.

“And now,” she continued, “you will help me save _my_ child.”

Luke met her gaze. “Leia, how can I?”

“You’re afraid,” she said. “So am I. He’s my son. Ben is all I have left, and I won’t lose him to _Snoke_.”

“Snoke?”

“He leads the First Order; you may have heard of him.” Leia’s famous sarcasm hadn’t abated over the years.

“You know what I mean.” Luke scanned his feelings. Somewhere inside him, he knew that Leia had just spoken the truth.

“He’s been watching my son since he was a child. He lured and manipulated him into joining the Dark Side.” Leia shook her head. “Not that I’m excusing his actions since, but – but he was a child. I was his _mother_ ; I was supposed to protect him, and instead I just sent him away.”

“You sent him to me,” Luke said. “I’m to blame. The Force is a curse.”

“Nonsense! Your attitude is a curse, Luke.” Leia glowered at her brother. “I’m a General, not a Jedi, but I’ve only found good with the force. The pain came from elsewhere.”

“Like the Dark Side.”

“Like hurt people hurting other hurt people,” Leia argued. “Come on, Luke; I need you.”

Luke swallowed. As soon as the girl had landed on Acht-To, he’d known fate was coming. And then destiny had offered him back his lightsaber and all the memories he’d forsaken.

“What were you doing on Acht-To?” Leia asked, seeing that he wasn’t able to answer her.

“Looking for peace. For absolution.” Luke ran a hand through his messy hair. “I didn’t think it would take so long to find, and then after a while …I ’d been gone so long, I couldn’t bear to leave.”

“So you sent San Tekka the map?”

Luke finally looked Leia in her eyes – her fierce and wild, free eyes. “I sent him the last piece. R2 had always had the rest.”

“Did you think I wasn’t looking for you?”

“I knew you were. I didn’t want to be found,” Luke admitted. “I needed to find myself first, and then I needed my courage to return. And it did.”

“Rey?” Leia asked.

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“Who is she?”

“A scavenger. A Jedi. Our only hope,” Luke said pointedly.

“Obi-Wan,” Leia whispered.

“He no longer visits me. I wonder if he will when he knows his granddaughter has returned to her destiny.”

“Does she know?” Leia gaped at Luke.

“No. The timing … wasn’t right.”

“But how?”

“He lived in a desert for years, watching over me,” Luke said with a shrug. “How not?”

He laughed suddenly, a miserable sound.

“What?”

“I sent her there, you know? To Jakku , when the Knights of Ren emerged, when her parents would have rather had her train with me or stay with them. And Lor San Tekka to watch over her.”

Leia scowled. “So much pain and mystery for safety.”

“Salvation,” Luke corrected wearily.

“But not for Ben.”

“I always expected joy after a few bitter moments between us, when we reunited,” Luke said, unable to answer her question. He’d loved his nephew, and he still did. “I’m not who I thought I was, and neither are you.”

“No, but we will be,” Leia promised.

Hope sparked in Luke, hope so intense he thought he might burn. Perhaps it was too late for Ben, but forgiveness between he and his sister … it was all he’d ever wanted.

 

Zaira woke up with a gasp. She ought to have expected a muscle cramp tonight after battling all day, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be bitter about it.

Stepping gingerly on her screaming leg, Zaira hobbled outside to stretch.

As soon as she was able to put her full weight on her foot again, Zaira froze.

The stars shone brightly against a dark sky that illuminated no less than seven moons. One setting, three near their zenith, three rising. She’d never seen so many moons around one planet.

“What are you up to?”

Zaira jumped. “General. I’m, er, looking at the sky.”

Hux was perplexed. “Why?”

She was already craning her neck upwards again, scanning each surface for unique maria and craters. “Because it’s beautiful.”

“How fanciful.”

“Are you going to come look or not?”

With a snort, Hux stepped out of the bunker.

Zaira smiled at the awe in his wide eyes. “So you can appreciate beauty.”

“Of course I can. It’s just not useful,” he retorted, approaching her.

“Hmm.” Zaira eyed the general. “But if beauty makes you happy, it is useful.”

“I’m not discussing philosophies with you.”

“A meager lieutenant?

“No,” Hux said, truly surprised. How exactly could he say that discussing anything beyond duty physically pained him? He’d never been allowed by his father or himself.

His father. He snorted. Brendol Hux the First may have been dead, and Hux had been almost relieved, but he couldn’t escape him even years later, could he?

Zaira watched him, with a softness in her eyes Hux didn’t like. Almost as if she pitied him.

“There are two moons were I grew up, on Praesitlyn. I remember dancing in the light of them one night, back when I was very young.” She smiled sadly. “My father came out and saw me, and he was furious. We weren’t allowed to be sentimental or appreciate anything except physical strength, because he was so determined to leave poverty, so he beat me. It turned from the best night of my life into the worst.”

Hux frowned. She was goading him into sharing his personal details, wasn’t she?

“Sometimes I’m tempted to dance again, just because I can.” Zaira shrugged. “He trained me into this.”

 _An officer, a spy, just for the power_.

“The First Order will fix poverty,” Hux declared, seeing another speech write itself before his eyes. “The disorderly and gluttonous Republic is gone, and we will save everyone.”

“And can we save ourselves?” she asked carefully.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. I just felt like I should say it.” She smiled and moved towards the bunker.

“I don’t need saving,” Hux insisted.

“Why not? We’ve still killed billions of people – albeit for a better cause – but they’re never coming back. Families. Happy families, sad families, lost and lonely people too. Doesn’t that bother you?” Zaira wondered why she was speaking so freely _again_. But it felt right.

“Sometimes you have to sacrifice,” Hux replied. “My father taught me that. We had to kill at the Academy, you remember. The weakest member died. To strengthen us all.”

“I remember crying and holding Markian’s hand, and begging them to kill me instead,” she confessed. “I was not so strong.”

“Well, we can’t all be compromised by sentiment,” snapped Hux. “Otherwise we turn into FN-2187.”

Zaira said nothing.

“I planned it,” hissed Hux. “And I was so relieved when it was over – because I had helped us succeed. I built camaraderie that day.”

“You killed a friend.”

“Who could have very well been me!”

_“You’re going to kill Waldor.” Brendol Hux cut a commanding presence. The three cadets before him feared his infamous, piercing gaze._

_But Hux knew his father was staring at him in particular, and that Waldor, his best friend, was not a coincidence._

_“Don’t fail me,” said the Commandant, and though all the cadets nodded, Hux knew his father was speaking to him._

“Don’t insult my methods,” sputtered Hux.

“I questioned, not insulted.”

“Questions are dangerous, Lieutenant. I am a dangerous man.”

“True. You’re an uptight, ruthless man whose greatest fear is failure, probably because your father never let you fail. Much like mine, so you needn’t fear my judgment.”

“Why on earth would I fear your judgment?!”

“Because you crave approval. It’s the one thing you need more than anything else, more than even Kylo Ren to stop destroying your ship.”

“Kylo Ren is an asshole,” Hux said immediately.

“You’re not incorrect,” she admitted. “But who am I, General?”

Hux couldn’t resist the bait. “You’re a wild woman with little regard for authority, and even less foresight.”

“I suppose I just hope I am who the First Order needs in my position,” Zaira said, choosing not to engage his not-entirely-false insults. “And I hope you are, too. You’re more than capable, you know.”

Hux started.

“Good night, General.” She walked away, leaving a perplexed and oddly hopeful Hux standing under the light of seven moons and a trillion stars.

 

Kylo Ren felt weaker by the hour, but not in terms of strength. There, he was healing, and yet he didn’t want to be.

The light crept slowly back into his spirit, and he wished himself dead before he could fail again.

He felt it every time the idiot techs and officers began analyzing another part of the Ileenian system for his mother.

 _The General_ , she should be. The enemy’s head general, no less. He should want her dead, but he didn’t, and that sickened him. Because then he had killed his father in vain.

“Sir!” A pompous Datoo hustled up to him.

“What is it, Colonel?”

“We’ve picked up intelligence that the Resistance base is located on D’Qar.

“What intelligence?”

“Someone radioed in that multiple fighter jets have been seen practicing maneuvers in the atmosphere above the planet, sir.” Datoo drew himself up. “Shall I call in airstrikes?”

“Not yet. Leave the planning to me and the Supreme Leader,” Kylo said curtly, detesting this officer who cared so much for gain and nothing for life.

He glided towards Snoke’s chambers. _Feel nothing. I am powerful. I am invincible._

Feel nothing – but wasn’t he supposed to feel anger, rage? But the rage was only directed at himself, and how confused that rendered him.

“Supreme Leader.”

“What news?” Snoke drawled. It has never occurred to Kylo before how small – well, really just how ordinary sized – their leader was.

“We’ve received evidence the Resistance is located on D’Qar. I can dispatch a squadron to attack at once.” Even as the words poured out his lips, Kylo’s dread rose.

“One squadron … for the chaotic villains who destroyed our prize weapon?” sneered Snoke.

Kylo flinched. “Multiple, I meant. I would accompany them.”

“Indeed.” Snoke waved a waifish hand. “Go … and do not disappoint me like that whining General.”

Kylo froze. He hated Hux, so why did Snoke’s candid distaste for the priggish redhead frighten him?

“Kylo Ren,” whispered Snoke.

“Yes, Supreme Leader?”

“Do not disappoint me,” Snoke repeated.

“I never would, never again,” Kylo promised, unease growing. “Han Solo was the key, as you saw in your infinite wisdom.”

Snoke grunted. “I think not.”

“Supreme Leader?” Kylo’s heart skipped. “I am dark, I promise.”

“Fulfill your purpose. Wipe out the Resistance, with my blessing.” Snoke’s voice was disturbingly neutral.

“I shall,” Kylo insisted.

“And do inform General Hux of your plans.” A queer light gleamed in Snoke’s eyes, as if he relished the agony Hux would endure when he realized he was a waste. Not that Kylo wouldn’t.

With a dip of his head, Kylo Ren left the cold cavern of a room.

And then he realized.

If Snoke hated Hux too, did Snoke also hate Kylo? Was Snoke using him just for the Force, as he used Hux for his military insights?

Snoke was powerful, Kylo reminded himself. Snoke had no need to use him. Han Solo was wrong, wrong, _wrong_.

The scar on his face burned. Forever he was sealed a patricidal Dark Lord.

This was no test. He could succeed; the darkness was all that existed. Darkness always won.

He just wasn’t sure he wanted to.

 

Unable to sleep, Hux paced back and forth. All moons had set; the sky had faded from black to gray with the approach of dawn. She was to blame for keeping him up this late.

Zaira Dax was like a cat, he mused. Uncontrollable and dangerous. He knew; he’d owned a cat once. She’d been fat and orange as his hair, fond of purring, scratching his uniform, and killing rats. He’d named her Millicent and hugged her when he’d forgotten how to cry and fed her scraps until his father had caught him.

Funny how he’d had affection for the one thing he could never hope to control.

That was where Zaira differed from cats, he thought with a harsh laugh. He certainly had no affection for her.

He laid back down and closed his eyes to make the most of what little sleep he could catch.

The way her auburn eyes had reflected the moonlight kept dancing around his mind.

Bright lights danced on the communicator he always slept with. Red, red for an emergency.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo faces his mother on the battlefield, and Zaira tries to help an increasingly unstable Hux.

Chapter Five

 

As she stumbled out of her room, Zaira cursed herself for suggesting to Phasma that she awaken the troops early with another attack. If only insomnia was as predictable as natural wonders.

Ahead of her, a dark figure glided down the hall, far too swiftly to be a guard.

Who could possibly be awake at this hour? Zaira’s heart jumped. Most likely this person was no one important, simply wanted a stroll in the night.

But what if someone else was spying? Did the Resistance still trust her? Did they know that she was now tutoring their enemies?

With a frown, she hastened after the figure - on her tiptoes, just as her father had taught her so long ago.

The figure slipped outside.

Zaira ground her teeth and burst out of the bunker, only to spot the person climbing into a fighter jet.

Her heart pounded, and without much forethought, she raced towards the rumbling jet, yanking open the door just as it was pulled shut. Her head smashed against the metal, and she was now sure she’d seen more stars than existed in the galaxy.

“Lieutenant!”

Rubbing her sore head with one hand while maintaining her grip on the door with another, Zaira squinted. “General Hux?”

“Is there another General?”

“I don’t know – the one we have doesn’t randomly sneak off planets.” Zaira pulled herself into the jet. “What the blast are you up to?”

“Nothing that concerns you!” His face was twisted with rage, and his voice shook with fear.

“The First Order is my concern, which makes _you_ my concern,” she shot back. “What are you up to?”

“I have orders to return to Supreme Leader Snoke.” Hux stuck his nose in the air.

“Not hardly you don’t,” Zaira said slowly.

“I don’t have to justify my decisions to you, Lieutenant. I’m taking off. Leave.” Hux restarted the engine.

“Not unless you explain with the truth.”

“Do you enjoy being marvelously insubordinate?”

“I enjoy the truth!” Zaira gasped as the jet leapt into motion. On instinct, she yanked the door shut, sealing herself inside with a madman.

“You forgot to take yourself out!”

“You forgot the truth,” she protested.

Hux slammed a fist into the console as they soared into the sky.

Zaira watched him in horror. The bunker faded in the back, and then they were climbing the atmosphere – now passing the moons. “ _What are you doing_?”

“Sir, everything you do is rational,” she tried again, sliding into the seat beside him. “What is happening to spur this behavior?”

“I am driven by loyalty to the First Order,” Hux snapped. “And to the Supreme Leader, even if he doesn’t know it.”

His voice failed to conceal his disgust.

“If he doesn’t know it, is he supreme?” Zaira asked.

Hux glanced at her. She knew. She _knew_ what he wanted. He ought to kill her. Right now.

“They know where the Resistance is,” he said instead.

Zaira froze. “What – where?” _No, no, no._

“D’Qar. I’m off to help, though you’ve gotten in my way.”

“You were never one to help with battle before.”

“Because I was in control!” Hux ranted. “ _Kylo Ren_ is leading my stormtroopers! There will be a disaster!”

“Oh, I get it. You mean you can’t let him get the credit.” She crossed her arms.

Hux’s eyes flickered.

“No, wait, you’re just assuming you’re being punished for the Starkiller disaster, so you’re going to show up now and save the day, am I correct?”

“Shut up!” Hux slammed the console again. “You don’t know!”

“Know _what_?” she yelled back. “I don’t know what?!”

The general stared at the vast, vast space flying by them. He hardly seemed to breathe. Other than a steady trembling in his shoulders, Zaira would have thought him Force-frozen.

“General Hux? Sir? _Hux_?” Zaira leant forward to place a hand on his shoulder.

His face was now red from lack of breath. But he couldn’t breathe, you see, he was betraying the First Order but he had to because Kylo Ren was selfish and incompetent and he had to show Snoke and his father’s grave that he was a good leader, Hux himself, didn’t she see?

“Sir, you’re having a panic attack. You need to take a breath. You are capable of taking a breath. Just one breath. You are capable,” Zaira repeated. She felt woefully underprepared for this, but maybe if she said what she wished her father had said to her when she panicked, maybe she could reach Hux.

Hux, her enemy, on his way to destroy her people.

He took in the slightest inhale, and to her dismay, she finally let out her own breath.

“So you’re breaking the rules. I do it all the time,” she said. “Er, for good reasons, as you well know.”

“I never thought they were good,” Hux croaked.

“And I don’t think yours are good now, but _you will be all right_. You can’t undue your actions, so you might as well make something positive of them,” Zaira said. “I’ll help.”

“You can’t,” he said haughtily.

“Why not?” she demanded. “You need me right now, you know you do.”

“I’ve never needed anyone,” he retorted.

“Stop parroting your father.”

Hux’s eyes widened.

“No one is self-sufficient, not even a hotshot young general.”

“I’m not parroting my father,” Hux said, swallowing. “I’m not.” His father, who couldn’t even live long enough to know his son had finally succeeded.

“You carry him with you,” she said, eyes bright with emotion. “His voice never goes away, does it? Because my father’s doesn’t.”

“How could it go away? He taught me everything I know.” Hux flinched. “Though I earned my achievements myself.”

“That’s obvious.”

“Is it?” He glanced at her, with what looked almost like – vulnerability? Her heart twisted with – sympathy?

“Yes.”

“Did your father teach unconvention? Or is that your own improvisation?” He glanced at the console. “We have an hour before we reach D’Qar.”

So they really did have the Resistance location. Zaira’s palms began to sweat. She hated, hated, hated being powerless. And battle? She would be exposed, unable to kill her allies, her employers.

She could kill Hux and rush to the Resistance’s aid, but, oh, she didn’t want to kill anyone. No more.

“Why don’t we radio Phasma that we’re on a surprise mission, then I can tell you everything about my father? All the teachings and the beatings and the expectations and the fighting, and how that began long before the Academy.”

The spying portion could be left out, she reckoned. And, perhaps, if she remembered her father enough, she could feel ready to die during battle rather than fight.

 

An explosion startled Rey awake. On instinct she snatched her lightsaber – briefly she wondered if she was imagining things, but no, Finn’s eyes were bright with fear, too.

Poe put a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “You rest. Rey and I can check this out.”

“I can’t just lie here!”

“You _should_ ,” Rey said firmly. BB-8 beeped in affirmation.

“BB-8, stay with him,” Poe instructed as he and Rey hurried upstairs.

“Do they know our location?” Rey panted.

“Lieutenant Dax hasn’t said anything,” Poe said grimly. “But I’ve never trusted her, exactly.”

“Who is she?”

“She’s a First Order officer spying for us.” Poe hurried towards a tense General Leia, who stood in the center of the room barking orders.

“General, is it the First Order?”

“They’ve found us!” C-3PO’s golden hands covered his mouth. “Oh dear! We’re doomed!”

“Thank you for your optimism, 3PO,” Leia said irritably. “Now get over to Ackbar and do as he tells you.”

“Of course, of course, Princess.” The droid hurried off.

“Any word from Zaira?” Poe asked.

“No, but she may not be in a position to inform us,” Leia said, watching a simulation of approaching ships. “Poe, assemble a squad.”

“On it.” Without a moment’s hesitation, Poe scurried away.

“General, how can I help?” Rey asked.

“We can help.” Luke materialized behind her, holding out a lightsaber.

“It’s yours. I – I gave it to you,” Rey said, still uneasy with the living legend before her.

“Luke, you need to do this,” Leia added before he could say another word.

Luke’s eyes strengthened. “Very well. Rey, take a blaster. If – if the Force is used, we can stop it.”

It was here. The Dark Side. His nephew. His stomach turned.

“If Ben is here, you mean,” Leia said.

Rey was shocked to see tears in the General’s eyes.

“I don’t think he’s Ben anymore,” Rey said shakily.

A series of furious beeps emanated from R2, enough to make even Chewbacca cringe.

“We’ll see,” Luke said.

“Chewy, join the ground troops,” Leia ordered.

The Wookie grunted and rushed off.

“We will win,” Luke said suddenly, staring at his sister.

“The Light has to win,” Leia replied, with far more emotion to be speaking of a surface battle.

Luke nodded, feeling more and more nauseated. Then he spun around on his heel and headed outside.

Rey snatched a blaster from a nearby container and followed after Luke, the legend who couldn’t bear to say goodbye to his sister. “Where are we going?”

“Away from the center battle.” Luke waded into the brush. “Until we see Kylo Ren. Then – then we’ll have to see.”

“Are you planning on _negotiating_ with that – that maniac?” Rey demanded. “He killed Han and tried to slaughter Finn!”

Luke whirled to face her. “And he butchered my Jedi Academy. There’s no hope for him, and there wasn’t for my father, but I am going to try for my sister if it’s the last thing I do.”

“And it probably will be,” Rey argued. “We need you more than that.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“You do,” she said angrily. “I’ll talk to him. He wanted to teach me, you know, the force. He showed me his face willingly, when he didn’t want to show himself to even his father! I can do this.”

Luke startled. For a few moments his mouth worked silently. Yet at last, all he said was, “Very well.”

“And at the end of this, when we win – you will teach me the Force instead of him,” Rey growled.

Luke’s hopes stirred despite him, as the bombings grew louder, as the ground rumbled with jets and explosions. Pity the world against such a determined woman.

 

Kylo Ren felt nothing, not because he actually felt nothing, but because he couldn’t allow himself to feel.

 _Look_ , he told himself fiercely. _Remember._

 _You’re a spoiled baby with a criminal daddy and a crazy mother_.

 _You’re a freak_.

_Your best friend is a hairy henchman._

_The galaxy would be better off without people like you!_

He’d used the force to choke that kid – oh, what was his name? Baxter. Baxter. Just a little, and then his mother had freaked out and sent him away even though this was his first offense after Baxter and his cronies made his life miserable for _years_!

The spark of anger faded quickly, like an ember when what he needed was a fire.

His mother was here. The woman who’d abandoned him, who’d hated what he’d become.

 _He_ hated what he’d become.

No! Kylo gripped his lightsaber as the ship prepared to land. He would march out, certain and dark as ever, ready to reclaim the galaxy from fools like his mother.

 

Poe shot again and again and again at a jet until it exploded. He barely felt pain for the enemy – not now, at least. He could feel it later when they’d won. When Finn and the General were safe.

 _Finn_. His heart pounded as he glanced below him, towards the ground. Squadrons of white ants, white stormtroopers and potential Finns, swarmed the ground below.

His job was the air. Finn was with the General. He would be safe. He had to be.

           

            Kylo stepped out of the ship, lightsaber ignited. An orange-clad Resistance fighter fell before him, hit from a stormtrooper’s blaster. Choking on blood, the man stared straight at Kylo Ren, and Kylo had the uncomfortable feeling that he had known him once.

He could finish him off, but a dying man really had no use to him. Kylo ignored the gasping enemy and turned towards the bunker where the Force told him his mother was.

 

“So what exactly is your plan?” Zaira looked at Hux’s dead white face, white as the stormtrooper uniforms below them. “Because we already outnumber them.”

Hux said nothing. All he wanted was to save the day. That Kylo could be capable of commanding a battle was impossible.

“Hux?!”

“Ren will make an error. Somewhere. I’ll take it from there.”

“ _Um_ , we’re going to need to discuss this later – Hux look out!” A missile shot towards them and the next thing she knew, an explosion rocked their ship. She and Hux grappled for control of the burning, spiraling ship and then she yelped and felt bad for it and the ground flew up to meet them and she barely had time to press his eject –

 

“Admiral Ackbar. You can take it from here.”

“General?”

“I’ve spent too long letting someone else deal with my son,” Leia said with determination. Her hands gripped a blaster, though she knew she’d never use it against him. She would save him or die trying, die and join Han.

“General, you can’t –”

“I have to,” she cut in. “I can feel it.”

The admiral could only nod as his cherished leader glided out of their bunker.

 

Kylo felt her before he saw her.

General Organa, a blaster in hand, walking towards him with mother eyes.

In the sky above, Poe Dameron saw a glowing red cross aim at his hero and a white blaster tossed aside. In the bunker below, Finn felt something he’d never felt before, a clash of agonizing hope and hollow despair, and something inside him prayed to the Force around he’d never known but knew now.

“Now,” Luke said to Rey from the brush. To her dismay, he didn’t grab the lightsaber by his side. Instead he opened his arms and whispered, “ _Use the Force_.”

“For what?” Rey hissed, watching as Leia approached her son. The woman was like a mother to her, as Han had been like a father, and now she was about to watch his fate repeated. Well, not if she could help it, and she knew she could.

“Die!” A disheveled redhead suddenly leapt forward, aiming a blaster directly at Leia.

“Oh no you don’t!” Rey yelled, scrambling forward to fire the blaster.

“Idiot!” A purple-haired woman dove forward, knocking Hux out of the way.

The shot grazed Zaira’s hand, but she didn’t mind the blood. Blood was life. Blood could save both enemy and ally.

Kylo Ren’s eyes burned with fury. Screw the fact that Hux had, of course, appeared, screw the fact that most fighting had ceased to watch them.

Didn’t she see how much pain she’d caused him? Didn’t she hate what he’d become? That she would never see her son’s face? That he was about to gain victory over the Light forever?

Didn’t she hate that she couldn’t stop him from dying?

“ _I hate you_!” he screamed.

Kylo shook violently. His lightsaber was now inches from his mother’s aged neck.

Leia didn’t shed a tear. She didn’t need to. “ _You strike me down and I will haunt you every day to tell you how much I love you, and that your name has always been Ben Solo_.”

“You should have done that before!” He was shrieking, wild and consumed with dark. “You hate me, you’ve always hated me!”

“I love you, you self-destructive Jedi! I love you! I am _sorry_ I didn’t listen before.”

“It’s too late!” He laughed. “That’s what I told Han, did you feel that? Before I stabbed him! With this!” He waved the lightsaber around.

“Then stab me with it!” Leia took another step forward. “You’ll never been completely dark, because no one can be! You’ll never get rid of the light, because it is more powerful than the dark! I know! And I love you!”

“It’s not!” Kylo screamed. “You abandoned me! You’re not my mother!”

Then he did the only thing he could manage, the only vengeance he could take.

He stabbed himself.

 

Rey gasped as Leia froze her son. She and Luke scrambled forward, each using as much power as they could to keep him froze.

“You fool!” Leia cried to the still Ben, a Lightsaber running through his chest. “But I love you!”

“I’ll take him.” Luke used the force to end his nephew’s consciousness. “Catch him, Rey.”

He grunted as he attempted to lift his nephew.

Rey strained to hold him up. “Maybe if we took off that ridiculous helmet –”

A Wookie’s grunt interrupted her. Without another sound, Chewy had his former friend, his nephew in all but blood, lifted and sprinted towards the infirmary.

“Go,” Luke ordered his sister, observing the now-confused stormtroopers in his peripheral vision. “We can handle this.”

Leia said nothing as she dashed after her son.

 

“What’s happening?” cried Jess Pava over the radio.

“I have _absolutely_ no idea, but our mission remains the same,” Poe answered.

“Poe, you’re flying by an abandoned jet teasingly close to a squad of troopers,” Snap said suddenly.

“On it.” Poe aimed and fired, but before the fireball erupted he squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t see the death of a dozen Finns.

 

“Sentiment’s done him in again! He’s a fool!” Hux raved, grabbing Zaira as the bodies of stormtroopers fell around them.

She jerked away, kneeling besides a panting trooper now missing his leg below the knee.

“What are you doing – you can fight – you should be fighting!” They were losing, Hux knew, despite their numbers. Despite their strength, his troops were losing! He was losing! And all because of Ren.

“Then are _you_ going to try to heal this man?” she retorted. Not that Zaira had learned much in the art of healing, but how could she leave someone to die in front of her?

“Leave me,” groaned the stormtrooper.

“You matter too much,” she replied, tying his torn uniform tight above his knee.

“He’s a soldier – this is what he’s meant to do,” Hux insisted. “What we are all supposed to do.”

Blasters and explosions danced around him, feasting upon his sanity. He was going to die. They were all going to die, here, in the heat of battle.

“We have to get out of here,” Hux wheezed. But really, they had to.

As he gave the signal, as Zaira squeezed the hand of the dying stormtrooper one last time, he wondered if his sole use was organizing evacuations.

“Just what ship are you getting on?” she demanded.

“We’re heading back to the Supreme Leader, I should think,” Hux said haughtily.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Hux was too stunned to fight back as she dragged him onto a smaller jet. “We’re going back to Phasma, where you are supposed to be, and Snoke is going to think this was all a big misunderstanding on your part, hear me?”

“You’re not my father,” snarled Hux, kicking at her.

She knocked him against the plane’s side.

“You need one,” he heard her say as his consciousness faded.

 


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zaira confronts Hux, Kylo faces Finn, and stormtroopers dance (sort of).

Chapter Six

 

Before we begin, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has followed/favorited/read this story. <3

 

“General.” Someone gently shook his shoulders. “You should wake up.”

Hux gasped, scrambling up only to hit his aching head on the jet’s ceiling. “Where are we?”

“Flying back to training,” Zaira said, avoiding his gaze.

“Snoke will know anyway,” he said dejectedly. “Wait – you struck me!”

“I’m sorry if it hurt.”

“Of course it didn’t,” he lied. “It’s the principle. One you’ve crossed too many times.”

“There’s no shame in saying something hurts,” she said carefully.

“I said it doesn’t hurt!”

Zaira sighed. “There’s a giant bruise on your forehead, sir.”

“I’d rather you call me ‘Hux’ and treat me with the respect I deserve,” he growled.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Honest.”

“You should have killed me,” he snapped. “That whiny child just destroyed us all. Everything I’ve worked for – everything my father worked for – and he just sacrifices it all because he feels guilty in front of his mommy.”

“Guilt is a powerful weapon,” Zaira remarked quietly. Guilt, like she felt for saving him from Rey’s blaster. Did they suspect her of treason yet?

“Did you know he’s not much younger than me? I’m 34, he’s 29, and he acts like a child. Good riddance, I say!” Hux shook. “How old are you?”

“21.”

“Well, you act twice his age!” Hux paused. “Perhaps that’s a slight exaggeration. No matter. You see the point. And now he’s made us look weak just a week after demolishing the Weapon over some silly infatuation!”

“And yet!” Hux continued. “He is favored by the Supreme Leader. Nothing he does is his fault – well, until now. I _hope_ Snoke hates him now. Why couldn’t Snoke have trusted me? Why must I always be the disappointment child?!”

Zaira observed him. “Was your father a cruel taskmaster, too, then?”

Hux’s mouth opened, but no sound came out.

“Because mine was,” Zaira admitted. “He taught me all my combat skills before the academy. He made sure I would succeed as a human weapon.” _By betraying others – by betraying you_.

Not that she had any fondness for the General. Nothing besides pity, that is.

“My father knew what I needed,” Hux insisted. “I’m grateful.”

“Which is exactly why you crave Snoke’s approval?”

“He’s my leader. Of course I crave his approval.” Hux dragged a hand through his fiery hair, temper rising, pulse speeding. “And now I’ve failed; I’ve _failed_. _Again_! I loathe that Ren and I – I loathe myself most of all.”

“No, please, you don’t need to hate yourself,” Zaira cried. Almost immediately she wondered, but didn’t he? He killed billions. “Not for that.”

“Phasma loathes me, too, and so do you,” he grumbled. “I would commit suicide if it would help the First Order, but that doesn’t matter to even its Leader! No, it’s all _charisma_ and the _Force_.”

“Why would you kill yourself?” Zaira’s alarm grew. Thankfully, she’d put the blasters in the back before waking him.

“What do I have to live for, if not the First Order? I was four when the Empire fell. All my paltry memories before then are happy, do you know that? Then I remember the escape from Coruscant, the _change_ that came over my father, the way he would _beat_ my mother.” Hux stopped.

“Repeat a word of this,” he said after a moment, “and I will have you executed for treason.”

“Never,” she said quickly.

“I need control,” he whispered, his face even paler than usual. “And I don’t have it, Lieutenant Dax.”

“I know,” she whispered back. “But you’ve never had it, don’t you see? We are the children of ambitious fathers. Our outcomes were predetermined.”

Hux bristled. “I’ve made my own choices on the way.”

“As have I. They’re the only decisions I’m proud of, precious few that they are” Zaira confessed. Yes, it was true – she wasn’t even proud of her decision to spy, moral as the Resistance’s motives were.

Hux dropped his gaze. Funny how his decisions were the opposite. Arranging that incompetent Captain Roland’s downfall, taking out Colonel Raist. All for this position, all for General.

“That’s why I’m proud of my hair, actually. It’s my decision.”

“It’s _hair_.”

“But it’s mine. It’s, oh I don’t know, proof that I’m a person or something.” A person instead of a weapon; that was all Zaira ever hoped to be.

“I’m a General. I can’t afford that luxury.” Hux smoothed the taunting wrinkles in his jacket. “Dax, you heard none of this.”

“I would never repeat it. But I’m not sure you want me to pretend nothing happened?”

“Of course that’s what I want,” he snarled. Memories of his panic flooded him, shamed him, screamed _failure_. “Is it – is it possible?”

“You’re asking me?” Zaira regarded him. “No. No, it’s not, and it shouldn’t be. You’re a human and you ought to be allotted mistakes.”

“I’m a General,” he retorted.

“That’s not all you are!”

“It’s all I’ve ever been,” he pled. _And yet he’d panicked at his first battle_.

Zaira wanted to say so much to him, to say everything she wanted someone to say to herself. “Don’t stop there, Hux, or whatever your first name is.”

He laughed harshly. “It’s Brendol. Same as my father.”

“I take it you prefer Hux,” she said quickly. “Well then. I have an idea: I’ll give you combat training.”

“Combat training?” Hux stared at her. “Since when did your name become Lieutenant _Daft_?”

Zaira gaped at him. “You told a joke. All due respect, sir, but I didn't think you capable.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not.”

“I’ve had combat training. I know everything about battles. I was merely upset at my impulsive actions, that is all,” Hux blustered.

“Ah, but don’t the stormtroopers need experience as well as theory? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing? So why wouldn’t you? I shan’t leave a mark.” A mischievous light glimmered in her auburn eyes.

“I don’t trust you.” Yet, more training could only benefit him…

“I did save your life back there.” Her stomach turned at the treason to the Resistance, at her faith in saving mankind, any mankind, on instinct.

“Thank you for doing your duty,” he said with a sniff.

“Hux, you’re too kind.” She rolled her eyes as they slowed down to approach OHS1782-03.

“Nobody dares to talk to me like you.” Hux crossed his arms. “I’m not sure if that’s a threat or a compliment, so take care, Zaira.”

Saying her name caused a strange sensation in his stomach. Almost like a lightsaber come to life.

“You’ll come to my quarters at night, after the stormtroopers have been properly trained, and then spar with me, or whatever you plan on doing,” he said briskly, ignoring the lightsaber.

 

Kylo Ren may have been unconscious and strapped tight to a bed, but Finn remained uneasy.

“More motivation for you to get better,” Poe joked.

“Poe, he cut open Finn’s spine,” Rey said bitterly.

“Hey, at least I’m alive, and without guilt,” Finn said, glancing at the motionless, dark figure.

“I hope he spends every second of a long life remembering Han Solo,” Rey said with an intensity that surprised her friends.

BB-8 rolled up to Ren’s bed and brandished his electric stringers.

Rey couldn’t help but chuckle. The droid, her first friend, had more moxie than the entire First Order.

“Uh, Luke.”

Rey whirled around to see the dejected Jedi watching them. “How long have you been there?”

“Forever, or so it feels.” Luke glided towards Finn. “I’ve heard so much about you – the stormtrooper, right?”

“Ex-stormtrooper,” Finn corrected.

“Of course.” Luke rested a hand on Finn’s shoulders. “You’re an inspiration, you know that?”

Finn’s heart swelled. He had just been praised by the greatest Jedi to exist. _Luke Skywalker admired him_.

“It’s really Rey whose friendship kept me from running. I just saved Poe because I needed a pilot.” Finn smirked at Poe, who laughed.

“You’re all inspiring. A bit more than a tired Jedi who did run away,” Luke said.

“But you came back,” Rey said.

“Thanks to you. That seems to be a common theme around here.” Luke smiled. “May I speak with you in private, Rey? Perhaps Finn and the pilot could take a walk?”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Poe enthused, though Finn felt a stab of jealousy as Poe helped him up.

“Rey,” Luke said quietly. “You seem very angry.”

“Angry? How can I not be? He murdered his father, and he tried to take the easy way out?” Rey gestured furiously at Kylo. “He _had_ a father, and he killed him, while I’ve waited my whole life for a family.”

She fought tears. “Master Skywalker – Luke – I don’t care that he probed my mind and hurt me. I care that he hurt my friends, that he threw everything that ever mattered away.”

Luke stared at his nephew’s still, barely breathing body.

“Do you think he could gain it back? Change?”

“I do. But my father changed, and that was improbable enough. To ask a second corrupt man to change is to ask for a miracle,” Luke stated. “Yet … he was my family.”

Rey blinked. _Family_. “Then – then you should ask for such a miracle.”

Luke regarded her. “You’re so lonely.”

“That’s what your nephew said when he saw my mind.”

“How cheap. One doesn’t need to see your mind to know that,” Luke scoffed.

“You taught him better than that, I suppose?” Rey didn’t want to remember the fear as her secret hopes were ripped open.

“As a matter of fact, I did. Or I tried. But I think I’d like to try again.” Luke cleared his throat. “You have the Force, Rey, stronger than anyone I’ve seen. As strong as Anakin Skywalker. Would you do me the honor of becoming a foolish Jedi’s new pupil?”

“Will we help the Resistance?”

“We will.”

“You want to teach me. Me!” Rey babbled with excitement. In that moment, in that moment of feeling wanted, she could have forgiven Kylo Ren himself.

 

“You’re still angry, aren’t you?”

“Disappointed, really.” Phasma heaved a sigh. “I strive to install discipline in my troops; now one moment of tomfoolery may undo all my efforts.”

“I think you are strong enough to curtail any rebellious trends,” Zaira said, watching the sky above.

Phasma huffed, yanking off her helmet. Zaira had seen her friend’s bare, beautiful face only once before. In the moonlight she looked radiant, and tragic. “I’m human, Zaira. I don’t have the Force or power other than my blaster and my title.”

“You’re still enough,” Zaira insisted.

Phasma smiled sadly, brimming with unhappy memories. “I know, despite what the General implied, it wasn’t your idea.”

“He’s been quite rash lately.” Zaira tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. “Do you think the Supreme Leader will find out?”

“I’d be shocked if he didn’t already know.” Phasma eyed her friend. “Since you appear to care about him, you might as well warn him that his avarice will be his downfall.”

“Him? General Hux?” Zaira gasped. “Only as far as I care about any person.”

“You have high levels of empathy,” Phasma said. “Empathy kept me from reporting FN-2187’s abnormalities. Empathy motivated his betrayal.”

Zaira was taken aback. Phasma had never admitted weakness before.

“You care more about the general than many others,” Phasma continued.

“Only in so far as he’s pleasing to annoy,” Zaira insisted.

Phasma chuckled. “That may be true, but with Kylo Ren gone, that annoying little man is the only hope we have left.”

 _No, you’re our only hope_ , Zaira thought as she watched her friend retreat indoors. _You’re my only friend_.

It wasn’t true. She didn’t like Hux; pitied him, sure, but not like.

She fumbled with her transmitter. She desperately wanted sleep, but she had to make contact with the Resistance. If she’d demolished her mission, her father would be most unpleasant to deal with.

“Zaira.” General Leia and Admiral Ackbar stared up at her.

“I called as soon as I could. There was simply no way to inform you.” Zaira fumbled for the words.

“We understand,” said Leia.

“Then how did you have time to come here?” Ackbar demanded.

Zaira scowled. “I was in the company of General Hux the entire time.” Hux, whom she hated because she had to. No, she didn’t hate him; she just wasn’t fond of him.

“How bad were your losses?” She held her breath.

“Relatively few, though less than they would be had we had warning,” Ackbar said. He didn’t mean to hurt her, but the fact remained that his men and women were dead, and they shouldn’t be.

Zaira winced. “And Ren?”

Leia inhaled sharply, agony across her face. “Alive.”

Awake, she had just heard, but the woman who led the Resistance just didn’t have the courage to go see her son.

Zaira nodded, aware of Leia’s discomfort. “Good.”

“Do inform us as soon as you know Snoke’s next move. Unfortunately, we lost your ships after reaching the Outer Rim, so we shan’t be reaching you anytime soon. Unless you’ve since learned your whereabouts?” Ackbar asked.

What to say? No, because she was off training their enemy?

“I will inform immediately when I know anything of value.”

“Well then, we hope to hear from you soon.”

“I’ll do my best, General. Best of luck with reparations,” Zaira said lamely.

“May the Force be with you,” Leia said suddenly.

“Um – uh – you too.” The Force, Zaira reckoned, had never been with her, and never would be. The Force didn’t give or do a damn for her.

“What are you doing here, scoundrel?”

Zaira whirled around to see two of her trainees, blasters in hand.

 

“Congratulations, you’ve avoided death,” a grim doctor greeted the groggy Kylo Ren, pressing lightly against Kylo’s chest wound.

He didn’t dare wince, didn’t dare react.

A dark figure froze in his peripheral vision sent fear shooting through Kylo. His mother? Chewie?

He couldn’t bear to look.

“Help me, Poe,” a smooth voice said.

Kylo held his breath. Poe Dameron, the pilot he’d tortured, the pilot before whom he’d murdered his old family friend. _Lor_ … would his suicide cure his wrongs?

 _I did it for the First Order. That wasn’t wrong_ , he thought furiously.

The figure invaded his vision, peering over his eyes.

Finn looked down at the once powerful Kylo Ren, lying pale and weak and bitter before him. A fresh wound on his chest, an old blaster shot on his side, a scar on his face.

_Traitor!_

And maybe Finn was, but treason had brought him to Poe, the man who held him up. Treason had led him to Rey and her kind eyes. Treason was the best decision he’d ever made.

“You ruined so many lives,” Finn whispered hoarsely. “I never knew anything but darkness, but I knew the Light more than you. You hurt Poe and Rey and killed your father. Do you know what I would have done to know a father?”

“Sir, maybe you’d better not – ” Doctor Kalonia began.

“No, I need to say this.”

Kylo wanted to say that Hux was in charge of the stormtrooper program, that he’d even suggested the use of a clone army – albeit tauntingly – but he didn’t want to acknowledge his life enough to speak.

Poe rubbed his friend’s shoulder.

“You tried to kill me, because I am nothing to you. Maybe I still will be, but I have to – I _have_ _to_ say this.” Finn struggled for the words. “I forgive you.”

Kylo felt as if he were standing on the edge of a rushing, unpolluted river. A river he did not want to join.

“Don’t.”

“So he does recognize right from wrong.” Facing his torturer again, Poe found himself unable to resist a dig.

“Of course I do. I was always right,” Kylo lied instinctively. “Even when I killed that old man and Han Solo.”

Shock them, frighten them away. Let them hate him. He hated himself!

Poe raised a fist but stopped at Finn’s look.

“You’ll learn someday you’re wrong. My point was that I forgive you, and since I’m not under your command, you don’t get to tell me what I feel.” Finn’s eyes shone.

FN-2187 was everything he was not, Kylo realized.

“I hope someday I can be as good as Finn, but I’m not there yet,” Poe added.

“Help me back?”

“’Course, buddy.” Poe guided the stormtrooper away from a horrified Kylo.

 _Bee-eep-boop_! An angry orange-and-white droid rolled in as Dr. Kalonia walked over to check on Finn.

Kylo’s stomach turned. For right behind the droid was R2-D2, the childhood friend he’d left brokenhearted after the destruction of Luke’s academy.

BB-8 swiveled around to see Kylo, casually demonstrating his electric stingers.

Poe laughed.

 _Doo-deep-deep_. R2 rolled towards Kylo, jostling his bed. _Don’t you remember me_?

Kylo stared at the droid, just long enough for R2 to see the emptiness he felt inside.

 _Anakin changed, so can you_.

 _I don’t want to change_ , Kylo thought. _I won’t be undone by sentiment like Anakin. I killed Han._

 _I love you_ , said the droid, giving his bed another jostle.

“You shouldn’t,” Kylo whispered.

Despite himself, his hand reached out to rest on R2’s dome.

 

Zaira deftly tucked her transmitter in her pants as she swung around. “RT-3131, 3100.”

“Lieutenant Dax,” stammered 3100, a tall but nervous young man. “Our apologies. We were doing our rounds and thought you were a trespasser.”

“What are you doing outside?” asked 3131.

Zaira noted the curiosity, the innocence in this trained soldier’s voice. Wiping her sweaty palms on her pants, she came up with the boldest lie she dared tell. The lie that might just aid the Resistance. “I was watching the moons.”

“Why would you do that?” 3100 asked in confusion.

“Because they’re beautiful; do you know what that means?”

“Of course we know what beauty means.” 3100’s voice rose.

“It’s one thing to know and another to understand.” Oh, how often her father had told her this. “Here, let me show you.”

She walked forward and took 3131’s hands. “Understanding beauty makes me want to sing and dance.”

“What are you – what are you doing?” 3131 dropped her blaster as her instructor began moving their bodies in rhythm with the tune she hummed.

“Understanding.” Zaira twirled around and grasped 3100. “You too. Understanding is the key to a good soldier. Otherwise we’d all just use clones.”

“I thought we just made better decisions,” 3100 protested, even as his hips moved in better rhythm than Zaira had ever managed.

“Yes, and you do that because you _understand_ a situation,” Zaira suggested. _And if you understand, you think for yourself_.

3131 began humming her own lilting tune.

“Where did you learn music?” 3100 asked curiously.

“ _Music_? This isn’t. I don’t know. I’ve always liked stringing sounds together,” said 3131. “That’s not, um, disobedient, is it, Lieutenant?”

“No. It’s beautiful,” Zaira said with a frown.

How often her father had forced her, over and over, to listen to his own music, to dance. And she’d hated it until discovering the moons while crying outside one night. In a way, Zaira supposed dancing in the moonlight had kept her strong throughout her life.

3131 tripped into 3100. “Oh, sorry, Hundred.”

“Shh,” he said suddenly, glancing at Zaira.

“You have nicknames?” Zaira inquired. Of course, even child soldiers would find ways to individualize themselves.

“Yes, Lieutenant. It won’t happen again,” 3100 said quickly, stepping almost in front of 3131.

Zaira’s mind spun. Were these two …

“No, no, I think it’s good. You’re unique and you need to understand that, too,” Zaira said.

“What is going on here?” Phasma staggered outside with two more stormtroopers, RT-2460 and RT-2492.

“We’re learning how to understand,” Zaira said, forcing levity into her voice. “Here, allow me to demonstrate.”

Behind four identical helmets, the four stormtroopers’ mouths dropped as Lieutenant Dax spun a stunned Captain Phasma around and around.

“It’s called dancing in the moonlight and everyone needs it,” Zaira called.

Phasma lurched away. “What of discipline?”

“Discipline can’t be won with fear alone.”

Phasma rubbed her helmet, though the action didn’t much soothe her spinning head. “I’m not sure engaging their fancy will aid their development.”

“I think it’s exactly what they need,” Zaira replied. Well, what the Resistance needed. What the people behind the numbers and white uniforms needed.

“Pray tell.”

“The best soldiers ought to know their individual potential,” Zaira said, staring pointedly at Phasma. “So they know when to help and when to leave another behind, or even, hmm, when to report another.”

 _Like FN-2187_. Phasma hesitated. She could bear to lose another stormtrooper to death, but not to treason. No more. “And you think this midnight mischief will help, do you?”

“Possibly.” Zaira wondered how Phasma would receive the notion that her soldiers deserved to enjoy themselves for once.

“What is this ruckus?” General Hux burst outside.

“I can’t help you with this one,” Phasma said to her friend.

Zaira nodded, facing Hux. “Midnight mischief, of course.”

“Midnight mis – what?” he spluttered.

“Otherwise known as dancing. As a means of expanding your troops’ understanding of themselves and the universe, which should make better soldiers,” Zaira said as persuasively as she could manage.

“That is nonsense.” His face twisted.

 _Yes, but good nonsense_ , she thought but didn’t say, as her hands latched onto his bony wrists.

“What are you doing, Lieutenant?” His voice rose in pitch.

“Demonstrating,” she said simply. She could explain later, to him and Phasma, her father and the music.

He stumbled over her feet. Fear exploded inside him. “This is preposterous!”

“So are seven moons and the First Order and the galaxy itself.” Zaira glanced over her shoulder. “RT-3131, give us your best melody.”

RT-3131 wanted to cry like she did at night when no one could punish her. She didn’t have one. She didn’t know music. She didn’t want trouble.

“Any one will do,” Hundred whispered.

As the night filled with 3131’s gentle humming, four stormtroopers and three officers engaged in the most awkward display of beauty seen in the history of the galaxy.

Or so reckoned General Hux, for when he ignored his own misgivings and his father’s voice, he found himself enraptured by the eccentric woman holding his hands.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren can't face his mother and Rey gets her revenge, while Hux and Zaira pay a visit to the famous King Prana.

Chapter Seven

 

Finn, that foolish traitor, was finally asleep, as were Poe and Rey. Otherwise, the medical bay was empty.

Kylo struggled off the bed. His feet hit the ground with a soft thud, yet no one stirred.

He didn’t want to go. He had to go. The guilt was killing him.

The handcuffs were easy to break. Snoke had taught him well.

Kylo knew he couldn’t return to Snoke, broken and contaminated by the Light. He couldn’t face his Master’s indignation and Hux’s satisfaction. Yet he could not face General Leia’s pain, nor her pity.

Weak, clothed only in tattered black pants, Kylo crawled his way towards the door. If he could pilot – pilot his way to another planet and crash there, end it all – he just wanted to feel loved, but he didn’t deserve it.

 _Bleep – boop_! As soon as Kylo exited the medical bay, the orange and white droid who’d been the bane of his existence rolled out from behind Poe.  

 _Bleepy-boop-bloop_! BB-8 bumped Poe’s chair repeatedly.

“What – what is it, BB?” Poe glanced around until his gaze landed on Kylo’s empty bed. “Oh _no_.”

Kylo was almost out. He couldn’t face the morning. He couldn’t face his mother. His wound began to ooze lymph liquid, and he relished his pain.

“You!” A kick to the shoulder sent Kylo Ren sprawling across the stone floor. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

Lights exploded in his vision as person after person rushed in. SO many familiar faces – Ackbar, Statura, _Leia_ –

A lightsaber whizzed to life and suddenly blue light was tauntingly close to his face.

“I’ll do it again,” Rey threatened. Of course the girl would.

“What were you doing, prisoner?” Ackbar said sternly. “Escaping?”

“Killing myself,” Kylo replied.

Rey withdrew her lightsaber, to Luke’s relief.

“Oh dear!” C-3PO hurried over to the broken man. “You needn’t do that, Ben, please.”

“I’m not Ben. Ben is dead,” Kylo said, struggling to his knees. “General.” He faced Leia, wrapping his arms around his chest. “Your son is dead. I – I will always serve the Supreme Leader. I am not – not worth life.”

General Leia walked closer to her son. No one spoke a word.

“Ben.” She bent down, her fingers tracing his blaster scar, the scar from when he’d killed her husband, to his lightsaber wound. And then her hands were on his face, examining the line down half his face.

Kylo trembled, unable to meet her eyes. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Show you mercy? My son?” Leia whispered.

“I’m not.” Kylo’s voice cracked. “I killed Han Solo. I killed the villagers on Jakku. I let the Republic die, I killed Skywalker’s Jedis. Do not forgive me.”

“Well, Finn already has,” Poe spoke up. Just to spite his torturer. Just a little bit.

“No,” Leia said. “Ben, will you forgive me? For failing to protect you?”

“I made my choice, and I killed Ben Solo before anyone else,” Kylo begged.

“My son lives,” Leia declared. If only she could show him, if only she could bathe his heart with her love.

“The light is fighting for you. It’s still in you. It always will be. The light is powerful, I know,” Luke said suddenly, kneeling besides his sister. “I can’t change your past, but you can turn –”

“Turn like Anakin,” Rey said, halfway hoping he would choose not to, that he would die for his crimes. Yet she couldn’t deny the Light coursing through her.

Kylo was shaking uncontrollably. “I don’t – I can’t –”

“He should get some rest to be of use,” Ackbar said coldly. He didn’t know what to make of his former shadow, a quarter century later a weeping killer on their floor.

“I have an idea.” Rey smirked at Luke and, using the Force lesson she’d had earlier that day, raised Kylo’s body up and carried him bridal-style back to the medical bay.

“Impressive,” Luke remarked, watching his sister stand by her humiliated son’s bed.

“Am I a dark person if I enjoyed that?” Rey asked softly.

“No. You’re a hurting child – just like us all.”

 

Hux froze before the sneering hologram. Perhaps his lack of sleep, perhaps his strange feelings and rash actions had overpowered him, ruined him.

“You went to usurp Kylo Ren.” Snoke leant back, tapping his fingers against the ragged stone chair. “And you succeeded. He’s now a captive to the chaotic Light. What would your father say?”

Hux fumbled for words. “I take full responsibility, Supreme Leader –”

“You are the greatest disappointment I’ve seen in my eleven-hundred years,” spat Snoke.

“I am, sir.” Hux dropped to his knees. “I promise I will not fail you again.”

“Get up! You are a General of the First Order; you should be proud of your position!”

“I am, sir. I will develop a force to rescue Ren,” Hux said, nauseated at the thought. He climbed to his feet, wishing for a bloody death.

“It is too late. The Resistance will be changing bases as we speak. We must hope for him to return on his own,” growled Snoke.

“I will, sir,” Hux vowed. “What would you have me do in his absence?”

“Bring your stormtroopers to me.”

“They are not ready, Supreme Leader.” Hux wasn’t sure why he was arguing for them. Truth, perhaps. And this was what Zaira would say.

“They had better be! I gave you another chance to retrain them.”

“Retraining takes time,” Hux contended, clenching his fists.

“They are ready now or you will be without an army,” purred Snoke. “You can hardly afford to refuse the First Order now. I’m beginning to suspect I made a mistake promoting you for a family name and not much else.”

“I’ve built the First Order to new militaristic heights,” Hux blustered. “I will bring my troops to you immediately, sir. I will not fail you again.”

“You will not.”

Hux dipped his head and strode out.

He considered praying to the Force, but he was too bitter towards its narcissistic users to ask for aid. He could succeed on his own merit, just as his father had beaten into him.

He didn’t want to see Zaira, Hux realized. He cared almost more about her opinion than the Supreme Leader’s.

General Hux ground his teeth. _You fool_. Now was not the time to surrender to corrupting emotion.

 

“Sir, they are not ready.” Phasma blocked Hux’s access to the stormtroopers’ training room.

“The supreme leader is wise,” Hux responded. “We deploy in an hour.”

“Sir, this is foolish.”

“No, disobeying Supreme Leader Snoke is foolish.”

“Very well. You’ll have more deaths on your hands, then,” Phasma said coldly.

More deaths? Hux’s temper ignited. “I’ll let you tell them the good news then, Captain. Don’t you dare disobey me.”

“Have I ever?” drawled the Captain, seething inside as she stormed inside the training room.

“What’s happening?” RT-3131 stopped sparring with 2460, who, with a reluctant nod from Zaira, slammed her body to the ground.   
            “In battle, you can’t be distracted, no mater how safe you feel,” Zaira said. She remembered her father telling her that through her tears. Did she really want 3131 to suffer her fate?

Unease swelled in Zaira’s stomach. “Captain, you do seem on edge.”

“We deploy in an hour, on orders from the Supreme Leader.”

Zaira’s eyes became flames. “ _What_?”

“Troops, prepare,” commanded Phasma.

When they were alone, Zaira let out a shaky breath. “What on earth is he thinking?”

“You’re the only one who might be able to talk some sense into him.” The very idea that she could lead her troops, her troops she’d danced with last night, to death today, stunned Phasma.

She cared, she realized. Captain Phasma was cruel and demanding, but she gave a damn and liked it.

“I’ll try.” Zaira stormed out of the room.

 

Hux’s face burned red at the mere sight of Zaira. “It was not my preference.”

“We’re going to get these children killed,” Zaira exclaimed.

“They’re hardly children. They’re soldiers.”

“Incomplete ones. Don’t pretend you don’t care.”

Hux avoided her gaze. Of course he cared. He shouldn’t, but he did. “We don’t have a choice.”

“I’ll help them,” Zaira said. “As best I can. I’ll be on the field with them and Phasma. We’ll train between every, every mission. What will you do?”

“Me?” Hux frowned. “To help?”

“Yes.” She glared at him.

“I’ll help you with training in whatever ways I can. As you will help me,” he said weakly. What had happened? When had he decided to help her???

“Thank you.” Zaira regarded him with appreciation, and suddenly Hux felt fear.

 

Leia’s blood pounded in her ears as she descended into the medical bay. Her son saw her coming and scrambled away, though he couldn’t move far with both his hands and feet now shackled to the bed.

R2 greeted her casually, before refocusing on Ben. The droid hadn’t left his side since Rey’d placed him back on his bed.

“We’re moving to avoid another attack from the First Order,” Leia said, uncertain what else to say. “You’ll be placed aboard a ship soon.”

“Still chained?”

“For your own benefit,” Leia said. “Snoke’s been manipulating you, Ben, since you were a child. I didn’t notice and I’m so sorry, Ben.”

“Don’t say his name. Ben Solo is dead. Like his Father.” He wouldn’t even meet her eyes, her son, her son.

“I want nothing more than to embrace you.” Leia swallowed. He was all she wanted, her son. Han’s son.

“But you won’t.” Kylo’s eyes gleamed with self-directed malice.

“Would you let me?” Leia held her breath.

Kylo wanted nothing more than an all-encompassing embrace, but he could never admit it. He had committed to the Dark. How could he cheapen his father’s sacrifice by letting the Light retake him?

Across the bay, Rey saw another opportunity. “General, allow me.”

To Kylo’s shock, Rey crossed the bay and squeezed his shoulders. His wound smarted, and he imagined she’d intended that.

“Girl is amazing.” Poe chuckled. “Hey, I’d hug him if it’d annoy him.”

“Gee, what do I have to do for a hug,” Finn joked.

“You want one?” Poe’s heart leapt, and before he could censor himself, he was embracing his buddy.

Finn returned the hug. He felt oddly excited in Poe’s arms.

“You’ll never miss an opportunity to make a fool of me,” Kylo grumbled to Rey. “Are you sure you haven’t embraced the Dark Side?”

Rey’s eyes flashed. “Isn’t it better than torture or hunting?”

Leia noted a strange look in Kylo’s eyes, something beyond humiliation, when he spoke to Rey. A pleading to be seen as human, perhaps.

“Luke and I will be guarding you on the ship,” Rey added. “Better get used to it.”

“Give him hell,” Poe said with a grin.

“I’m already in it!” Kylo screamed.

Poe’s face fell; Kylo gasped at the compassion he felt in the room.

“Stop that! Don’t start to care for me because I’m weak! I’m weak!”

“I never stopped caring.” Leia’s fingers squeezed his hand. “We’ll be leaving later today, Ben.”

“I’m not Ben!”

Her son hadn’t changed from his teenage years, Leia realized. Fury at Snoke’s abuse coiled within her. “Then I love Kylo Ren, because he has Ben Solo inside him.”

 

 

Their orders came while still in space.

“I – I think I’m afraid.” 3131 stared at 3100 with wide eyes.

“Oh – oh! Lieutenant Zaira.” Frantically, she tried to place her helmet back over her hair. The other stormtroopers quickly assembled into two lines.

Zaira swallowed. “We’ll be guarding General Hux while he, er, negotiates with one King Prana.”

“Who is he?” asked a usually quiet trooper, RT-3189.

“A king. Who may be, hmm, of use to the First Order. You didn’t hear it from me, but _don’t_ stray out of line.” Zaira exited the room as Phasma entered.

Phasma huffed at her friend’s obvious disregard for protocol. _She_ , their captain, ought to be dispelling the barest details for their soldiers. Still, this was Zaira, and everything she did seemed to come from a genuine heart.

“Prepare to disembark.”

Mountains, taller and steeper and darker than Zaira had ever expected, rose to greet the soldiers as they marched off the ship.

Hux ground his teeth. He’d possessed a disposition of controlled fury since childhood, but these days his fury was directed toward himself rather than his underlings. There was no doubt that the Supreme Leader had changed their route simply to test him.

_I am loyal. I am capable of negotiating this deal._

Everyone knew that those who angered King Prana could be fed to a gogitol or a giant Velusian fursnake. More likely the troopers would suffer before he would, but Hux didn’t find his rank as comforting as usual.

Two Togrutas bowed their heads in his direction. “General Hux. Follow us, sir.”

Vaguely aware of Zaira and Phasma leading the stormtroopers behind him, Hux kept his head high as they passed through a narrow passage between mountains. A crater teeming with gardens full of cages loomed beyond them.

“Kind Prana has been most displeased with the Resistance of late. No doubt you’ve heard Han Solo betrayed him, killing his rathtars.”

The actual story’d been far stupider, Hux recalled – oh wait – he’d concocted that piece of propaganda against Ren’s father, hadn’t he?

A creature howled in the distance, a howl Hux didn’t recognize. His skin crawled, and he heard one of the troopers give a little gasp.

Zaira’s every nerve raced. At any second, one of the troopers could be attacked by who knew what kind of animal – and she would defend these children if she could, position be damned.

A golden palace dominated the center of the gardens. Its opulence clearly awed some of the stormtroopers and Zaira, but Phasma and Hux found themselves bitter. Phasma scowled at the idea that opulence must be concentrated, not spread; Hux felt angry that time had been wasted on something so useless as a palace.

“King Prana wishes you to go on ahead, sir, while your soldiers stay here,” said one Togruta.

“Very well.” Hux nodded towards Captain Phasma before proceeding up the shimmering stairs.

The sun beat down as Zaira, Phasma, and the stormtroopers waited silently below.

 

Rey’s stomach felt as violent as a supernova. She didn’t want to give into the Dark Side. She didn’t want to hate Kylo Ren, despite the pain he’d caused her friends.

Luke, Finn, and Poe were asleep. Only R2-D2 and BB-8 were awake to see her cross the cabin and sit on Kylo’s bed.

“We’ll be arriving soon,” she said softly.

His eyes blinked open. “You knew I wasn’t asleep.”

“Lucky guess.” Rey shrugged. “I didn’t invade your mind, if that’s what you meant.”

“I would have felt it if you did.” Kylo met her eyes.

“You don’t need to apologize. I’m not mad about that, or about being smashed into a tree.”

“I feel your anger.”

“That’s for Finn, and Poe, and the villagers on Jakku. Luke’s academy. Han.” Rey couldn’t turn her eyes away. “I can take it, but they didn’t deserve it.”

“Neither did you,” he confessed.

Her brow furrowed. “Are you remorseful?”

“No.”

She felt the conflict, the lie, within Kylo Ren. Pity stirred within her. No matter how much pain she’d ever been in, she’d fought to survive. She could not comprehend the guilt necessary to wish death upon oneself.

“You can survive, you know. You can make it. If you need help, there are people here to help you.”

“Why would they?”

“Because – because people can be good.” Rey shook her head. “I don’t know why or how, but people can always be good.”

“Where are we going?” Kylo asked for the hundredth time, because he knew it annoyed everyone.

“Not telling.” Rey rolled her eyes, perfectly aware why he was asking again. He’d find out soon enough; within an hour they would land on Ahch-To.

 

King Prana was draped across a diamond-studded throne. “General Hux, isn’t it? Or shall I call you Brendol?”

“You will call me General Hux,” snapped Hux, infuriated at the name.

Prana’s dark, practically Hutt-sized eyebrows rose. “Very well.”

He dangled another worm into his mouth, exposing the teeth he’d filed into claws.

Hux had no patience for this man who fancied himself a beast. “You know what the Supreme Leader wants.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Prana waved a ring-studded hand about. “Allegiance, money, mercenaries – am I forgetting anything? I’ve had such bad indigestion recently, I do feel it’s affected my memory.”

Now Hux found himself wishing Kylo Ren was still around to suffer this mission. To choke this King. “That would be his request, yes.”

“And my portion?”

Hux blew out his breath. “I’m told you’re to gain three new rathtars and as many creatures as there are on planets the First Order conquers.”

“Three? Dear, dear.” Prana pressed a hand to his chest. “No, that can’t be. Solculvis has had word of Solo’s disaster, that’s for certain. No, I shall require at least a dozen.”

“A dozen rathtars?” Hux now considered Kylo Ren sane.

“No less.” The king thought for a moment. “And no more too. You know how hungry those things get.”

“So I’ve read.”

“Do we have an agreement?” Prana clasped his hands together in delight.

“I suppose we do.” Hux wanted to leave. Now. No, he wanted to be a child again and forget this man.

“You work with the son, correct? Of Solo?” Prana did have the most delightful way of spitting out that surname. “I must say, I was so hoping he would come instead of you – distinguished though you are. It would have been such fun to taunt that rotten double-crosser.”

“Then it will warm your heart that Kylo Ren has slain his father.” Hux thought it better not to mention that Ren was now either slain or imprisoned by the Resistance.

“Did he?” Prana’s nose wrinkled in horror. “My my, patricide is an awful thing.”

“Indeed. But sometimes necessary.”

“I suppose that is where we disagree.” Prana cocked an eyebrow.

“Sir?” Hux couldn’t believe that King Prana would dare moralize him, a hardworking officer of the First Order!

“No matter. Keep me out of your war details. I’ll let your soldiers and my mercenaries handle the conflict. You’ll be given quarter here for the night. Well, let me see, your soldiers shall have the servant’s quarters – it wouldn’t do to put officers with the soldiers, I have some dignity – and I’m sure we can find rooms for the rest of you.”

“Thank you for your generosity.” Hux held back a sneer as another Togruta beckoned him to follow.

Outside, Zaira heard a rumble far too close for comfort.

“What was that?” 3131 whispered.

“RT-3131, who permitted you to speak?” Phasma asked in exasperation.

“The monster over there?” suggested Hundred, voice rising.

“What monster?” Zaira whipped her head around to see a nexu bounding towards them.

2460, their most promising trooper, raised his weapon – and then someone was yelling at them, “Shoot it and we shoot you!”

But 2460 had been too quick, and were it not for a kick from Hundred, the gun almost certainly would have killed the nexu as it chased a lone lluma not far behind them.

A Vollick guard pounced on them, aiming a blaster at 2460. “You think you’re above these creatures?”

“No – no. It was a mistake, sir,” stuttered 2460.

“A mistake you’ll pay for!” The Vollick shoved 2460 back. His fingers moved towards the trigger –

“Stop!” Zaira lunged forward as Phasma raised her blaster, but then someone had leapt in front of Zaira and the stormtrooper, knocking her off balance.

“You will keep your paws off my soldiers,” spat Hux. “Unless you’d like to ruin your king’s hard won deal.”

As the Vollick lowered his weapon in favor of growled insults, Zaira could only stare at the back of Hux’s red head.

 

“General.” Later that night, Zaira appeared at Hux’s door. “I thought we should continue training wherever we are.”

“Of course. I’d expect nothing less, since one lesson would hardly suffice.” Hux sniffed.

Zaira glanced around the intricately engraved room. More gemstones were in this room than she’d ever dreamed existed. The ceiling soared above. “If I knew everyone in the galaxy could live like this, I’d live the rest of my life here in wonder.”

“Prana is a petulant sloth.”

Zaira’s eyes widened. “Well, I did notice his, er, lackadaisical demeanor at dinner…”

“He builds an elaborate zoo while the galaxy descends into war. He’s worse than the Republic, although I suppose he’s not hypocritical about it.” Hux tumbled down as Zaira kicked his legs out from under him. “I was hardly expecting that.”

“I’m glad you admit it.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Zaira laughed. “Hux, please.”

Now her hands locked onto his shoulders, and he was flipped on his back before he could respond.

He used his momentum to yank her down with him.

“Oof. Although, I must admit you took me by surprise today.”

“Did I?”

“I wasn’t expecting you to jump in front of RT-2460 and me,” she said.

Hux’s face turned red. At the time, he hadn’t even known what he was doing. Yet he couldn’t help but admit Zaira’s death would be an enormous loss the First Order could not afford. “We couldn’t lose such a fine officer.”

“Fine? The uncivilized, protocol-shunning one?” Zaira teased.

“Is it so hard to believe?” he demanded.

“No,” she said, taken aback by the defensiveness in his tone. “My father, though, he used to say that soldiers didn’t give up their lives for one another, only for the citizens back home. Only friends, he said, gave up their lives for each other.”

Hux blinked. “Well, your father was wrong.”

Zaira looked at him evenly. “Guess both of ours were.”

All Hux could think about was how grateful he was she hadn’t died today. He was, he knew, far more grateful than a General should be.

 _I will not be compromised by sentiment_ , he thought wildly.

Zaira noted the tensing of Hux’s jaw, the embattled light in his eyes … the close proximity of his body to hers.

The idea that he was not an unattractive person scared her far more than a dozen rathtars.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Zaira admit their feelings, while Kylo Ren's trial begins across the galaxy.

Chapter Eight

 

“I tell you, if that man complains about another scratch on his rathtar –” Hux’s face flushed. “I’ll build a new Starkiller just to eradicate him!”

“Did the bounty hunters come through?” Phasma strolled up to where Hux and Zaira stood talking under a lush tree.

“Yes, with half their crew missing,” Zaira said darkly. A dozen people had died for a silly king fighting for an evil cause.

“That’s twelve,” Phasma said. “I presume we will embark on a new mission tomorrow?”

“You presume correctly,” Hux said, with a glance at Zaira.

She knew that Snoke had barely contacted Hux in the three weeks they’d stayed at King Prana’s, unable to leave until impoverished bounty hunters had rounded up the rathtars required for Prana’s cooperation. Hux was convinced Snoke was punishing him, and Zaira had to agree. Snoke seemed the sort who would enjoy prolonging the torture their powerless friends.

Snoke aside, Hux had had enough of Prana’s lackadaisical idiocy. They would leave tomorrow, orders or none.

“I must say, you don’t usually mouth off like this. It’s almost like you’re turning into Kylo Ren,” Zaira teased.

Hux huffed. “I’d rather be Rathtar food!”

“Fear not, I would never feed my guests to my new pets!” King Prana strode across the courtyard, arms outstretched.

“How did he hear us,” grumbled Hux.

“You spoke loudly, sir,” Phasma couldn’t resist saying.

He scowled at her before approaching Prana with a smile.

“I must admit, for all his complaints, he’s been in a better mood these last few weeks,” Phasma said.

“I hear more shipments of soldiers will arrive tomorrow,” cried Prana.

Hux nearly choked. “What?”

“I’m to provide your new training center, now that your Starkiller perished; what a tragedy.” King Prana smiled. “Not far from this valley is an abandoned mountainside town, which I think will suit your needs nicely.”

“You’re very generous, sir,” Hux said stiffly.

“I am, aren’t I?” Prana shook his head. “So generous, you three can stay in my palace tonight one last time before moving tomorrow.”

“It might be best to scout out the region tonight.”

“Scout?” King Prana pressed a hand over his heart. “Do you think me so dishonest? I’ve already done that. Now, come along. I’ve so appreciated your company.”

Hux’s eyes bulged, and Zaira had to press her lips together to keep from laughing.

“He’s a lunatic!” Hux fumed that night. “A petty lunatic.”

“Indeed, but really, we could be in much worse hands.” A homicidal lunatic like Snoke, for example, thought Zaira.

“Snoke’s doing this on purpose,” Hux added. “Sending orders through that buffoon. Because of my weakness.”

“You’re not weak,” Zaira said, ducking his punch. “If you ask me, he’s behaving cruelly.”

“I didn’t ask you.”

“Apologies, sir.” Zaira’s stomach churned.

“He’s our leader. We must respect him,” Hux said, his words more and more hollow.

“Do you?” Zaira knocked him off his feet. She couldn’t explain why, but she suspected Hux saw Snoke as a convenient opportunity and nothing more.

Hux avoided her eyes. “Of course. I have to. I convince myself to.” His shoulders slumped. “Or try, at any rate.”

“You’re a good general.” Zaira only wished he were a good general for a good cause. And that she were a loyal lieutenant for that cause.

            That night, Zaira took in Hux’s quarters for the last time. She wouldn’t miss the sickening delicacies or prying eyes of Prana’s staff, but she would miss the grandeur.

“Studying the ceiling again?” Hux smirked, kicking her shins.

“Weak blow,” she retorted. “And yes, for your information. It’s the last time I’ll see it.”

“You’d hate it if you stared at it every night for hours,” he grumbled.

“Don’t be such a sourpuss,” she cajoled. She paused. “Wait. You still don’t sleep?”

“Can’t get tea here like you can on base,” he said pointedly.

“I was trying to be kind!” She somersaulted away from him. No doubt, the General was improving.

“First Order officers aren’t kind,” he said in mock exasperation.

“Really? Because everyone I’ve met had moments of kindness.” Zaira rolled her eyes. Even her father had.

“Including me?”

“You nearly took a blaster shot for me. Yes, you.” She shoved him playfully.

“Oh yes, that.” Hux shook his head and dared to say what his father’d never allowed: “I suppose you win this argument, then.”

Zaira stared at him.

“But you lose the battle,” he added, pinning her against the floor.

“Do I?”

“Yes.” He smiled wryly. “Are you so sure I needed these lessons after all? Only took me three weeks.”

“It’ll take you longer than that,” Zaira said sweetly.

Hux blinked.

And then her lips were on his, and Hux was good as blind with – sentiment.

Next thing he knew, she had flipped him on his back and had her hands by his throat. “If I had a blaster, you’d be dead now. Oops.”

“W-why?” he rasped as she clamored to her feet.

“Surprise. Spontaneity.” Zaira flashed a grin, extending her hand to lift him off the floor.

“But – but – that method?”

“Why not?” Zaira had to act nonchalant, she knew. Because she wasn’t sure why, of all spontaneous methods, she had chosen that one.

His voice came out faster than he meant, causing him to sound furious. “Did you mean any of it?”

Zaira’s heart pounded, but when she looked into his eyes, he seemed conflicted and afraid, not angry.

With spying, her greatest gleanings came after moments of her greatest vulnerability.

“Of course.”

Hux’s eyes widened. His mind spun.

He stepped forward, took her in his arms, and suddenly realized that sentiment might be the greatest power in the galaxy.

Zaira’s hands were in his immaculately combed hair, his on the gentle curves of her waist.

“Zaira,” he murmured, finally releasing her mouth.

“Hux,” she replied, staring into his eyes. With care. And kindness.

He’d never known anyone like her. Hux didn’t know what love was, but he had to wonder if he loved her. His hands traced her curves. “I...”

She grinned playfully. “What?”

His lips cut her off. She wanted nothing more than to be here with him. She felt as if she were soaring through a dream.

“I don’t want to stop,” he admitted, holding her close. When had he ever experienced such freedom, such possibilities?

“You don’t have to,” Zaira whispered on instinct. At the surprise on his face, she became aware of the bed tantalizingly close behind her.

Curiosity got the better of her. Her hands roamed to his now-rumpled jacket as the words tumbled out. “Would you – would you want to?”

His eyes shone. His mouth traveled from her cheek to her chest.

Their mouths closed in on each other’s again. Tenderly, they caressed, undressed each other and smiled like idiots at the sight of each other.

“Oh, wait.” Zaira untangled her braid, shaking her perfect lavender hair loose.

They lowered each other onto the immaculately made bed – and were lost to each other, lost to hope and love and daring.

That night, Hux slept soundly. That next morning, Zaira woke up to see the beautiful ceiling again.

 

Kylo Ren found himself wishing for conviction. For his weeks of recovery to be rendered vanity.

Just this morning he had felt hope. He had walked and felt the ocean breeze – and hoped for the trial to leave him with his life. But now he could not help but scream at his sins. There was no escaping.

His mother, along with Ackbar and Statura, would be deciding his fate today. And General Organa would never be kind enough to end him.

“Worried?” Finn asked quietly.

Kylo had no idea why Finn was trying befriend him – albeit always guarded by either Poe or Rey, and sometimes both – but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

“Not in the way you think,” Kylo replied. Right now he wanted to be left alone, abandoned and useless, as the First Order thought him. Briefly he wondered how large Hux’s smirk had spread at his capture.

There had been no chance for escape. Even if he could use the Force against people, chances were he’d run into Leia, Luke, or Rey, and he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of killing him.

Strange, wasn’t it, how he wanted live, when just a few moments ago he’d wanted to die.

Lieutenant Connix and pilot Nien Nunb came to escort him to the dilapidated room serving as a court today.

Connix’s eyes were filled with pain. Kylo remembered playing “Jedi versus Sith” with her as a child. _Look how different we are_.

For a moment his hope soared, bolstered by mere memory. Then everything crashed down again.

Finn nodded towards him. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Kylo snorted, but the soldier was already gone.

His mother stood, Ackbar on her right and Statura on her left. The crumbling stone room was packed with people. With a start, Kylo noticed his facther’s old friend, Lando Calrissian, standing next to Chewbacca. But while Chewy looked on him with sorrow and indignation, Lando merely looked at him as if he were a pitiful child.

R2, now, rolled forward just a smidge, beeped softly at C-3PO. The golden droid patted his friend’s dome. BB-8 chirped mournfully at his companions’ pain.

He pained even droids.

Luke wouldn’t even glance in Kylo’s direction, although Rey stared at him with desperate eyes. For some reason, she was fascinated by him, by the wild possibilities of change.

“Friends and fellow Resistance allies, we have come together to witness the trial of Kylo Ren, otherwise called Ben Solo, for leading massacres, torturing captives, destroying planets, and – and patricide.” Leia’s voice, steady throughout, trembled at the end.

“Son, what do you have to say for yourself?” Ackbar couldn’t quite shake the image of Kylo as a child, crying because Han wouldn’t allow him sweets. Kylo, hugging him when he snuck him one anyway.

“Nothing,” Kylo said flatly, horrified at the words exiting his mouth. “What can I say? You know I am guilty.”

“So you admit to torturing this man?” Statura gestured towards Poe.

“I probed his mind – we were in a war.” Kylo’s stomach turned. He remembered the ocean air caressing his face, whispering hope.

How hopeful could he be if he confessed that he was _surprised_ torture was listed among his crimes? He’d never enjoyed mind probing, or the knowledge that Hux had many torturers working on prisoners, but they were fighting a war.

“A war you helped start.”

“I’ve forgiven him,” Poe said suddenly.

“What?” Leia stared at Poe.

Kylo’s lips parted. He was forgiven for something he hadn’t felt much guilt over?

Poe’s eyes shifted to Finn. “Well, um, I’m trying to.”

Finn’s heart stirred. _For me_? Poe respected him that much?

“It’s just – we’re trying to be the good guys, right?” Poe addressed the entire court. “And I hear so many of you calling for his torture and death, because you say it’s justice. Well, maybe it isn’t. Maybe mercy _is_ justice.”

“This is not the time to discuss penalty,” Ackbar said gruffly.

“Isn’t it? We all know he’s guilty.” Poe pointed at Kylo. “And I don't know what happened to turn Ben Solo into Kylo Ren, but I don’t think it’s as simple as him turning on a ‘Dark Side’ switch. No one’s that simple. Just ask Finn about the stormtroopers, the ones we kill like they mean nothing.”

“This is not the place for this debate.”

Poe sighed. “Maybe not. But it needed to be said.”

He saw Leia hiding a smile, Chewy’s respectful gaze. He felt Finn’s eyes on him, brimming with admiration and love, and this was all Poe had ever wanted in life.

The court imploded into a maelstrom of opinions. _Kill him, release him, torture him, you’re crazy, Dameron,_ oh, Kylo heard it all.

“The stormtrooper’s hypnotized you!” barked a pilot.

“Poe’s been through more than you, so shut up!” yelled Jess Pava.

Kylo’s mind flooded with fear. So many people, so much discord. All caused by him. He was a failure.

 _No hope, no hope_.

Rey felt the terror descending upon Kylo.

“Luke,” she said urgently.

“ _EVERYONE, SILENCE_!”

Just then, everyone turned to Leia – or they tried to. No one could move.

 

Captain Phasma stomped down the corridor. It was high time for General Hux to appear – unless he’d finally worried himself to death. She and the stormtroopers could not afford to keep King Prana waiting. Zaira, at least, deserved a rest, so she would awaken the General first.

She was fairly certain that Zaira admired him, and she feared a scary man like him would manipulate her intelligent but naïve friend. He’d already paid Zaira extra attention these last few weeks, and acted so different than the stuck-up man he’d always been, facts that had Phasma quite concerned.

Her hands twisted the doorknob. Captain Phasma never knocked, and Hux didn’t deserve such kindness, anyway.

_Feel the discord. Embrace the pain._

_Let it ravage you._

_“Kid, how could you?”_

_Kylo cowered. He was seven and wanted Han’s attention, but lately all his parents did was argue, something about the republic senators shunning his mother. He held out the exquisitely carved Millennium Falcon he’d Force-hypnotized the shopkeeper into giving him. “I thought you’d like it.”_

_“You thought I’d_ like _you stealing? This is monstrous, Ben.” Han ripped the carving out of Ben’s hands. “This Force thing is out of control.”_

_Kylo began to sniffle. “I didn’t mean to!”_

_“Yes, you did.” Han sighed. “Kid, I’m not a thief anymore.”_

But I didn’t want to hurt people _! Kylo wanted to scream._ Why did you have to assume I was bad?!

_“Good, good, good.” Snoke stood up._

_Kylo whimpered at the Supreme Leader’s feet. “Why did you bring me that memory again?  
            “Because it’s a ridiculous memory. And sometimes, our most ridiculous memories hold the answers to our lives.” Snoke swept fifteen-year-old Kylo up in his hand._

_“You weren’t bad then. You’re not bad now. Your father is afraid of your potential.”_

_“Why?” Kylo breathed._

_“Because of the Force that flows through you.” Snoke’s gigantic finger traced Kylo’s body like a delicate toy. “You are so powerful, Ben Solo. If you had been born forty years ago, you could have ruled the galaxy alongside Darth Vader.”_

_Kylo glanced down. Snoke, perhaps the largest being in the galaxy, had lifted his insignificant body hundreds of feet in the air. Snoke cared about him._

_“Listen to me. I am telling you the truth: your father never loved you.”_

_Kylo listened._

 

Zaira watched the ceiling, her hopes flying. Had she really made love with General Hux? And, oh, she felt so happy.

Her gaze shifted to see him watching her with warm blue eyes. “How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to miss you.” Hux blushed.

She chuckled, rolling over to face him. “Do you feel all right?”

“Better than I ever have.”

She embraced him. “You’re such a romantic, Mr. Formidable General.”

His lips landed on hers again. “Don’t tell the Resistance.”

Fear shot through her. The she saw that he was laughing, and she laughed alongside him.

 

 _Let them go. Let. Them. Go_.

Kylo just wanted them to _stop_. Gradually he became aware that his hands were open, that some portion of his mind was focused on silencing them by any means necessary.

Could he run now? Where to? Now they would all hate him, even Finn.

With a gasp, he released the room.

“Treachery!” Statura pointed at Kylo.

“He’s too powerful!” cried another.

“No,” Kylo cried back.

“Nonsense!” Luke stepped forward. “Leia, your son simply remains uncontrolled with the Force. Rey and I will take him back to his chamber for now.”

Leia nodded dizzily. “Yes, yes … that sounds best.”

Kylo fought the urge to crumple as Lieutenant Connix shoved him towards Luke. He knew they all hated him, that Rey and Finn and Poe were all rethinking his progress the last few weeks, that he’d probably ruined his mother’s hopes for the last time.

He hadn’t even meant to, and he’d ruined everything. Han Solo was right – he was bad after all.

“Come along, Kylo.” Luke guided his lost, lost nephew out of the courtroom.

Gingerly, Rey held his other arm. She had no reason to believe Kylo capable of anything good, yet she felt no malevolent intent.

“In here.” Luke wondered how much to say. “Kylo – we all have difficulties controlling the Force.”

“It was me trying to escape,” he growled on instinct.

R2-D2 glided in, silent, determined, ready.

Kylo’s wild eyes struck Rey. She knew those eyes. A child’s eyes, pleading _Don’t go! Come back!_

“No, it wasn’t. I can feel it. You’re just scared and full of despair,” Rey told him.

“I wasn’t asking for your opinion!” he screamed.

“You wanted reassurance, don’t you? That you’re not all worthless and insignificant and – and bad,” Rey said hotly. Her eyes swam. She didn’t want to identify with Kylo in the least, but she did.

Her hand reached out, held his shoulder.

He trembled. The Light. It was tearing him apart. “Don’t touch me.”

“Then don’t give up!”

Luke watched his nephew and this rare young woman, the gray energy of the Light and Dark mingling around them.

Rey stole a look at Luke. “He’s your nephew, your blood. Help him!”

Luke hesitated.

“You’ve spent far too long running from your student.”

“I – I drove him away – he was afraid,” Kylo faltered. His shoulders hunched his head bowed.

“No,” Luke said loudly. “No, that wasn’t it.”

Rey nodded.

“Then what was it? Why did you abandon the general and the galaxy and leave me to Snoke?” Kylo doubled over. “Snoke was the only one who cared. Out of all of you.”

Luke’s shaking, calloused hand reached out to his nephew. “There’s a reason. I promise there’s a reason. There’s a reason we’re all here on Ahch-To.”

How long, he wondered, could he keep the relic safe near such powerful people? And, watching Rey’s belief in Kylo, he wondered if he even needed to keep his secret any more.

 

“General Hux, I believe – oh!”

Phasma had never been more grateful for her helmet in her life. Mouth askance, heart in her throat, she stared at her General and her friend, sitting naked on a bed together, their uniforms strewn across the floor.

Zaira gasped, color flying to her cheeks as her hands tried to cover her chest, while Hux’s face blanched. “Captain Phasma.”

“Sir!” Phasma would have rather endured another trash compactor than this debacle.

“Wait for me outside,” he managed.

“Absolutely, sir.” She shut the door, mind spinning. A few moments later, a disheveled Zaira rushed out past her.

Zaira stopped and turned around to face her friend. “I apologize for the time getting away from me. I’ll – I’ll see to the stormtroopers.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” said a panicked Phasma. Her world was reeling; oh, she felt as frozen as FN-2187 on Jakku.

“Captain Phasma.” Hux appeared, his meticulous hair his mussed, his uniform slightly wrinkled.

“Sir.”

He couldn’t meet her eyes. His face was white; sweat beaded his brow. “Not a word of this to anyone. I’d hate for this to, er, affect Lieutenant Dax’s career.”

Phasma’s ire boiled over. Every muscle in her body felt taut. “Perhaps you ought to have considered that before taking advantage of a younger officer.”

Hux’s mouth dropped open. “No! No, Phasma, it’s not like that. She kissed me, and I – I love her.” He flinched. “I only wanted to protect her, that is all.”

He loved her? General Hux knew love? Phasma felt a headache approach. “I see.”

“Please do not cause her harm,” he begged. A general ought not to entreat his inferiors, but screw his father.

“I never would,” Phasma spat.

“Good, then we agree on something.”

Phasma decided to do her best Zaira impersonation, and by that she meant temerity. She stepped closer to Hux. “I am glad for her, but hear me: if you hurt her, I can and will ruin you.”

“As you should,” Hux said with conviction.

 

_  
_


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn reacts to Poe's example, Rey and Kylo are drawn towards more...conversation, and more stormtroopers arrive for Hux, along with something less pleasant for Zaira.

Chapter Nine

 

“I can’t believe you’d be willing to just let him go,” Jessika Pava fumed.

“I never said that. I wouldn’t speak for anyone but myself,” Poe said. “And someone needs to show him another way.”

“Oh, I think he’s been shown that way too long now. He just spits on it.” Snap leaned against an X-wing.

“I think Poe’s right,” Finn said softly.

“You do?” Jess blinked.

“I do,” Finn said, louder this time. “Kylo Ren put a lightsaber across my back and through my shoulder, but he’s also the person Han Solo loved and died for.”

“Thought Han was tricked,” Snap said skeptically.

“He was, but his last actions can’t have been in vain,” Finn insisted. “Not if I can help it. So if forgiving Kylo Ren – to show him that we’re on the right side – is the way to honor Han’s memory – I’ll try it, too.”

He smiled at Poe, whose eyes shone upon him. Finn felt a fluttering in his stomach, a feeling he’d never felt before.

“You think a man who killed his own father is capable of change?” Snap crossed his arms.

“I don’t know. Look – I’m a stormtrooper. I wasn’t supposed to change,” said Finn.

“But you never killed anyone,” Jess pointed out.

“I did,” said Poe.

Jess stared at Poe. “What?”

“I killed his friend.” Poe gestured at Finn, though he couldn’t bear to meet his buddy’s eyes. “Slip was his name.”

“That’s completely different.”

“Is it, Snap?”

“Yes,” Finn said suddenly, grabbing Poe’s shoulders. “Poe, Slip – he believed their doctrine until the end. Fully. He never asked the questions I did.”

“Are you sure?” Poe swallowed. “Finn, all I think is that I could have killed you instead. Do you know what that feels like?”

Finn shook his head slowly. He felt as if he was drowning in Poe’s eyes, because Poe’s eyes were a river of compassion and bravery and he couldn’t escape and it was wonderful.

Jess cleared her throat. “I think we’ll, uh, leave you two to hash your feelings out. Right, Snap?”

“Huh?”

“Right.” She grabbed Snap’s hand and led him away, tossing a smirk back at Poe.

“So, uh…what were they talking about?” Poe’s face burned. “I mean, I –”

Finn’d never felt so much feeling before in his life. Grief that he’d never been allowed feelings, hope for the future and even for Kylo Ren, enchantment with the man he held.

He leant forward and brushed his lips against Poe’s.

 

“General Hux.” Colonel Datoo’s greasy smile was a most unwelcome sight.

“Datoo,” Hux said dismissively as stormtrooper trainees marched out of the _Dark Lord,_ the First Order’s second finest ship. Datoo _would_ insist on traveling with pomp only to appease his own ego.

 _You would too_. Hux squirmed.

“I do hope you’ll get this stormtrooper program under control soon. The First Order misses your advice,” said Datoo.

“Indeed – you could always radio me,” Hux said icily.

“True, true, sir.” Datoo nodded. He lowered his voice. “At any rate, I’ve also been sent to relay a message.”

“Then tell it.”

“Do you recall the riot when we first arrived at the Supreme Leader’s headquarters?”

“Of course I recall it.” Hux’s mood soured. He couldn’t feel guilty, could he?

“We interviewed around. To make sure there were no insurrectionist minds about.” Datoo pursed his lips. “We now have two witnesses claiming that a short, redheaded man paid multiple townspeople to incite the riot.”

Hux started. The riot wasn’t his fault? “That’s your entire description?”

“As of yet, yes.” Datoo lowered his eyes. “It would help if Ren were here to probe their minds.”

“Well, he’s not,” seethed Hux. “Nor is he likely to be anytime soon, if he hasn’t turned traitor already.”

“I understand, sir.” Datoo nodded.

“At any rate, we’ve more important problems. Training our soldiers, ensuring Prana’s rathtars don’t escape, and through it all obeying Supreme Leader Snoke,” Hux said.

“Of course, General.”

Zaira’s purple hair appeared in his peripheral vision, and for a moment Hux forgot everything but that he had worked closely with this woman for months and only now knew how wonderful she was.

“General? Is something the matter?”

“Er – nothing, Colonel. You’re free to go,” Hux said, cursing his feelings.

            Zaira, meanwhile, had counted two dozen new stormtrooper trainees. Her taste of freedom, her taste of someone she cared for, last night had left her furious for more. Her heart throbbed with the desire to free these not-quite soldiers, free them as she had never been freed.

“Lieutenant Dax.” Hux materialized behind her. “A word, please.”

“Of course, sir.” Zaira followed him, hoping he only used such formalities due to Datoo’s presence. Her official name felt so unbecoming.

She would be all right if he regretted her, but would he?

“Zaira,” he breathed, clasping her hands in his. His eyes darted around, ensuring no one saw them. “How are things going?”

“The troopers seem fine, albeit apprehensive, but somehow I don’t think that’s what you meant.”

Apprehensive was an emotion that didn’t bode well for them, Hux reflected, but what would happen if he pushed his reservations to the side once again? “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Zaira said, her ruddy complexion warming all the more. Admittedly, she was a bit sore in places she’d never been sore, but she’d never been easily fazed by minor aches. “I don’t regret anything.”

Her eyes searched his. “Do you?”

She was about as hesitant as Hux had ever seen her. “No. No. I feel – happy.”

“New feeling for you?” she asked wryly.

“Actually, yes.” Hux squeezed her hand. “I – I hope I will see you tonight?”

“That sounds wonderful.” She squeezed his hands back as his face blushed. “I should return to Phasma. She’s quite peeved. I think she thought me like one of her stormtroopers.”

“Undoubtedly,” he agreed. “Just don’t send her to murder me. I’d had for the Supreme Leader to execute her for treason.”

Zaira chuckled. “Never. You deserve a happy life.”

Did all murderers, she wondered. Maybe all murderers, slaves, and spies did.

Of course, a different sort of physical training occurred that night. In Hux’s new, barren and immaculately cleaned quarters, Zaira found herself tumbling into bed with a general she’s loathed a little over a month ago.

She didn’t much care if she was jeopardizing her mission. She wanted him close to her, closer until there was no more him and no more her, but only them.

“I think I love you,” Hux whispered while they lay tangled in each other’s arms.

Zaira started. Did she love him back? Could she, since she’d never had anyone love her before.

“I love you too.” She left a trail of kisses down his sweating face.

He hugged her tighter.

“You don’t have any speeches to write tonight?” she teased.

“I did them earlier.” Hux’s face burned, and she had to laugh.

“You work harder than anyone I know.”

Hux shrugged. “I have to.”

“Habit?” she guessed.

“That too,” he admitted.

She eyed him. “Is this your dream in life? Being a general?”

Hux hesitated.

“You’re stalling.” Zaira caressed his face, and for a moment, he felt safe.

“Yes,” he whispered. “Do you really think anyone achieves their dreams by the time they’re thirty-four?”

“I suppose I hope there are always new dreams to see.” Zaira swallowed. Although, her dream of freedom had never been met.

“You’re such an idealist.” He kissed the tip of her tiny nose.

Zaira laughed. “It’s not natural. I find idealism my only practice for sanity.”

“I admire you.”

“You haven’t answered me.” Zaira watched him carefully.

Hux shifted. “It’s … embarrassing and dangerous, all at once. I’ve always wanted to rule the galaxy.”

Zaira’s blood chilled. “Why?”

“I’m not scheming to overthrow Snoke,” he insisted. “I pride myself on loyalty.”

“I know you do,” Zaira said. “Is it the power? The prestige?”

“I’ve wondered if it’s the respect that comes with both of those,” he said. He sighed. “And the self-respect. To feel like I have some value.”

Zaira cursed her earlier judgment. “You’ve always had value.”

“My father invented the training at the Academy. The killing.” Hux wondered how much he should say, if he dared blurt it all out, if he dared expose the scariest innards. “He would have let me die if I wasn’t good enough.”

“You always had to be enough for him,” she guessed.

“Yes.” Hux’s eyes shone with anger. “I used to dream of greatness, just so he would see how worthy I was. So he would be proud of me and feel bad for how he treated us – my mother and myself.”

“Your mother?”

“She died shortly after I joined the academy.” His voice was surprisingly emotional. “She loved me, tried to shelter me, but I didn’t want to be sheltered and weak. She killed herself, and I fear my rejection spurred that.”

“No.” Zaira stroked his hair. “No, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that.”

“But you feel differently?” she guessed.

Hux nodded.

Zaira blinked back tears. How many officers in the First Order were just broken children? Did the Resistance even care? “I’m so sorry you live with that.”

In response, he laid his head on her chest. No one had ever said something like that to him.

She wrapped her arms around him again, promising, “I will help you, with whatever I can.”

 

“Your droid doesn’t approve of me.” Kylo watched BB-8 roll to greet Rey as she entered his chamber.

R2 beeped happily from Kylo’s side on the stone floor.

Rey scoffed. “He’s Poe’s droid. Although I suppose what’s important is that he isn’t yours.”

 _Beep-bloop-beep_!!! BB-8 brandished his stingers in warning.

R2 tapped Kylo’s legs, beeping soothingly.

Kylo took in a shaky breath. “I really didn’t need to hear that!”

R2 tapped him again.

Rey burst out laughing at the droid’s chatter.

“I _am_ being nice,” Kylo snapped.

“You are not.”

“You’re the one mocking a beaten man,” he said coldly. _Don’t you care about me?_

“ _What do you want_?!”

“I don’t know!” he yelled.

“I’ve been doing my best to be kind to you. To extend the courtesies you’ve denied so many.”

“And you keep reminding me of that,” he said.

“You blew up five planets. Just because I pity you doesn’t mean that’s all over.”

Kylo shook his head. “I hated that.”

“You still let it happen.”

“Because I’m a monster!” Kylo clenched his fists, fighting the urge to howl. “A monster!”

“No, you’re a coward,” snapped Rey.

Kylo gaped at her. “General Hux is a coward, not me.”

“Then stop being afraid of what will happen if you focus on something other than self hatred.” Rey put her hands on her hips. “Well?”

His head bowed. “I can’t.”

Rey squinted. “Why?”

His shoulders heaved, and suddenly Rey realized. “You think you’re worthless.”

“Like you do.” Kylo raised his face and emitted hollow laughter. “That’s why I took you, you know. I could have found the droid on Takodana without your help. I wanted to get to know someone who thought as little of themselves as I did. ‘Who are you? I’m nobody.’”

Rey took a step closer.

His cheeks streamed brine. “I wanted someone to understand me. I hoped we could be partners in the Dark.”

“ _I don’t want the Dark_.”

“That’s what I say about the Light, but it’s still there!” Kylo slammed a fist onto the floor.

Rey felt nauseated. Was it true? Was she capable of the dark?

 _She was stepping closer to Kylo’s limp body, cognizant of her power, he potential to avenge Han and slay this bastard_.

Kylo’s shoulders slumped. The truth was he’d wished she would deny it. Ad that by her denial, somehow, she would change to complete Light.

“I killed my father to be dark, and I didn’t know I would do it until it was done, because the Light wouldn’t stop,” Kylo sobbed. “It won’t leave me, and I don’t deserve it.”

Rey honestly had no idea what to do. She wasn’t good in emotional situations.

“I hate the Force. It betrayed me and I did everything to serve it,” he wailed.

A memory came swirling back to Rey, a memory so potent tears stung her own eyes. Her hand automatically traced Luke’s lightsaber. What was it about this place that shook such emotions from all of them?

_I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes … feel it … the light. It has always been there._

“Every living thing,” Rey whispered.

“What?”

“Ben, the Light won’t leave you as long as you are alive. It wouldn’t leave Darth Vader, or Luke or Leia, and it won’t leave you.”

“It left Snoke.”

“Hmm.” An idea occurred to Rey, one too crazy to say aloud.

Ben stared at Rey. As if they had the same thought.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Old doesn’t mean dead.”

“I must say, Rey, what a ruckus! Master Chewy heard shouting and sent me to find out if everything’s all right and here I find you perfectly fine! – Oh my.” C-3PO stopped.

Kylo Ren smiled an ugly smile at the golden droid.

“Goodness gracious me, you look like Ben now,” he said, pressing a hand over his heart.

R2 squealed.

“I’ll, uh, leave you two alone.” C-3PO backed out. “I must say, Rey, he looks quite disheveled.”

Rey watched the weeping Kylo Ren. “He may be an idiot, but I saw Ben, too.”

_My son is alive._

Kylo cried harder.

Rey stepped closer, put her hands on Kylo’s face to look into his eyes. With kind, warm eyes, with forgiveness and life.

Her hands reminded him of Han. “I feel – I feel so sorry.”

“I know,” she said.

 

Before dawn, Zaira reluctantly slipped out of their warm bed.

“Have to surprise the trainees,” she whispered to the general as she tugged on her clothing. He nodded sleepily. Peace, even if momentary, rested on his face, and she loved it.

Zaira kissed his forehead before heading out into the chilly twilight air. The trainee barracks were located a five minute walk from Hux’s quarters. She reckoned that if she had spent the night in her own room, she’d have gained at least five extra minutes of sleep.

Soft, padding footsteps began behind her.

Zaira stiffened. “Who’s there? I can and will destroy you.”

“Oh, will you?” King Prana’s unmistakable drawl slithered through the night.

“Your majesty.” Zaira spun to face his shadowy form. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“My guards were instructed to deliver a message, but I was so, er, intrigued myself I decided to take the work upon myself.”

Zaira smelt a lie. “Is that so?”

“What are you doing out here, my dear?” Prana’s voice could not have been smugger. “A young officer, fighting for her career in a dying war … ”

“I am perfectly satisfied in my career, and I resent your insinuations,” growled Zaira. “And, for your record, this war can and will be won.”

“By who?” Prana stepped closer to her.

Whose side was he on? And why would he say this to her?

“I’d better not be disappointed in my investment.” His hand stretched out. “A letter, for you, my dear.”

She hated that diminutive, but more than that, she hated his mystery. “Not for the General or Captain?”

“No.” Prana smiled, though she couldn’t see his mouth.

Zaira snatched the note from his fingers. “From who? How did you come by this?”

“Like I said. My guards.” Prana glided off into the night, walking backwards like a ghost.

“You’re lying,” she grumbled when he was out of earshot. Was General Organa that desperate, to risk her position? How dare the Resistance, if this was even them?

 _The trainees_. The letter would wait until she was alone and in the light. She could ignore it a little longer, Zaira decided, as she tucked the paper into her pants.

In fact, she ignored the letter all the way until mid-afternoon, when she snuck away from training to relieve herself.

The writing was so familiar, the words almost spoke aloud.

 

_My dear Zaira,_

_I was most relieved to hear of your survival at Starkiller Base – though I fail to see the reason I was not informed. But that is no matter._

_You doubtless recognize that you are more endangered after such a defeat. While I do not doubt your capabilities, my reports of your actions leave me concerned. Are you not aware what the First Order would do if they found a scapegoat in you? Perhaps you need a reminder from your teacher._

_I will see you in precisely one month, my dear daughter. Be in town center, and you will learn the place._

_Do not deprive yourself of this lesson._


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chewy confronts Ben, Finn and Poe discover a mysterious object, and Zaira's father shows up to rip her suddenly-crumbling facade apart.

Chapter Ten

 

**Please note: Maz is not actually being bashed in this story. There’s more going on than meets the eye. I promise on Luke’s lightsaber.**

 

Zaira’s legs buckled; she had to grab Phasma to keep from falling. The urge to gag welled up within her.

“You should rest,” Phasma said in alarm.

“No,” Zaira insisted. “I can work.”

Phasma’s chrome gloves closed around her arm. “You’ll teach the trainees wrong.”

Zaira pretended to think about it. “I suppose. But –”

“You will not endanger my troops. Rest,” Phasma said in an unusually gentle voice.

Zaira nodded feebly and stumbled out of the cave filled with sparring trainees.

Once outside, her eyes scanned the area. Everyone was busying themselves planning a strike on Jakku, the planet that’d held so many Resistance fighters for so long.

Her gait evened, and Zaira swiftly made her way across the camp.

When she approached the forest and the lone path towards Prana’s valley, RT-3131 emerged from her barracks, broom in hand.

Zaira cursed quietly, but nodded politely at the girl.

3131 waved at her. She would never make a good stormtrooper, and Zaira could not have been happier about that.

Golden roads lay beneath her, and shimmering green trees soared above. Everything on this planet overflowed with life, and she’d found it too, with her general.

And she might lose it all today.

Zaira glanced behind her. No one followed. The streets teemed with creatures of all sorts, dressed in a wide variety of riches and rags in the strangest fashions. She stood out as an Officer of the First Order, but after a month of their presence, the valley’s inhabitants didn’t pay her much attention.

A new letter had arrived two nights past, again delivered by Prana, as she was on her way to Hux’s quarters. The King seemed to take a strange delight in taunting her that he knew of their relations.

She had both letters tucked in her shirt now, so Father would think her careful. She could do this. She could appear competent, exactly one month later.

The dusty sign signaled that she’d arrived, though not at the meeting place just yet. She’d left an hour earlier than necessary.

Biting her lip, Zaira slipped inside an apothecary shop.

“Eh? Who’s there?”

The room was dark and so dusty Zaira fought to keep herself breathing steadily. Her gaze roamed to the shelves of green, blue, and red potions in assorted glass bottles. Love and lust, life and death in one place.

A grizzled old Cerean tottered out from the back room. “What do you want?”

“You have medical training, do you not?” Zaira asked far more confidently than she felt.

“Yeah, what’s it to you soldiers? You ain’t got none there?”

Zaira glared at the Cerean. “I believe you run a business.”

“Ha, ha.” The Cerean spat on the wooden floor. “You got an appointment?”

“Doesn’t look like you’re particularly booked at the moment.”

“Heh, I s’pose so.” The Cerean waved Zaira to follow her. “Don’t come asking for a love potion; I’m all out of those.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Sit down, sit down.” The Cerean pointed towards a tattered chair. “What’s the matter with you? I figure it’s something bad, or you’d be havin’ your own fancy doctors look atcha.”

Zaira swallowed as she sank into the chair. She had to speak as quickly as possible.

“Do you have a – a means to see – to see if one –” Zaira had never stuttered before in her life. Well, never since Father had beat it out of her. Her hands played with her braid to busy herself. “To see if one is with child?”

The Cerean didn’t even blink. “I thought so. Yer not the first female to come in here for those. Well, let’s see.”

She left the room, and Zaira heard her rummaging through her shelves and barking insults at her bottles for several minutes before she returned. “This’ll do. Hold out yer hand.”

Zaira obeyed, and the Cerean shook a few colorless drops onto her palm. The liquid then rose to hover above her hand, but it felt as though it were burrowing under her skin. Slowly the droplet began to glow dark green.

“Green, what does that mean?” Zaira knew before the Cerean spoke.

She hesitated. “Means the answer females in yer seat don’t want to hear. Are ya married?”

Zaira flushed even as all the blood felt as though it were draining from her body. “Well, no.”

“Hmm.” The Cerean held out her hand. “That will be thirty credits.”

Zaira fumbled for her money, humiliated and heartsick. What would Hux say? Had she hurt his career? What about her mission? – Not that she’d reported in over a month.

“Hey.” The Cerean put a wrinkled hand on Zaira’s shoulder. “I was you once. You’ll survive.”

“Thank you,” Zaira said dully before staggering back through the shop and into the blinding sunlight.

The fresh air boiled in her lungs. Zaira retched, unsure if shock or her condition were to blame.

Forward. She had, for the moment, to move forward. To pretend all was fine, to assure Father that she was capable of success.

 

“In here!”

Finn laughed and followed Poe into the cave. Waves crashed not three feet below them, an ominous sound for Finn. The splashes reminded him of when hundreds of his fellow stormtroopers cheered Hux. When he had.

“You all right, buddy?” Poe looked back to see anxiety across Finn’s face.

“Yeah. Just – memories.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Poe paused.

“I’m – it’s like I’m scared of the First Order, like I want to run and I’ll never be far enough away. But I’m angry, too, like all I want to do is fight them for stealing my parents and my – my mind, for so long.” Finn shrugged. “I don’t even know if that makes sense.”

“No, I think it does,” Poe said slowly. “Kylo Ren invaded my mind, but at least I knew myself by then. They didn’t even give you a chance to have your own mind.”

Finn let out a shaky breath. “Exactly.” He squeezed Poe’s hand. “It’s like you know me.”

“Pretty well, I hope,” Poe teased, pecking Finn’s cheek.

Finn intercepted Poe’s lips. He’d never known feelings could exist like this.

“You kiss so well,” Poe assured.

“So do you,” breathed Finn.

Poe snickered. “Believe it or not, I didn’t lure you in here to snog forever. Not that I’d complain if we did, but…”

“So what did you need to show me?”

“Something Jess found, actually. I’m rather curious what she and Snap were doing in here last night, not that I expect her to tell me.” Poe waved Finn further in.

“Aren’t we in a war?”

“More reason to love. Love is what’s important, I think.” Poe smiled at Finn. “Like I love you.”

“You do?!”

“Always have, buddy.”

“I – I love you, too!” Finn blurted out.

“Anyhow, we haven’t seen action for weeks, and people are bound to get restless.”

As soon as they rounded a corner, as soon as the light ought to have disappeared, Finn saw it.

A strange tetrahedron, flickering with dark and light, nestled below a shallow pool.

“Looks like an old temple relic,” Poe said.

“Maybe.” Finn approached the pool slowly.

“Do you recognize the language? I know they trained you in many languages.”

Finn squinted. “Yes, but these look ancient. Some language long dead.”

“Or not, given this relic,” said Poe.

“I suppose.” Finn felt strangely drawn to the relic. As if in a trance, he reached into the briny water, lifting the relic up.

“Whoa.” Poe gaped at the crystal, clear as day, yet swirling with light and dark. It didn’t make any sense, and yet from the look on Finn’s face, something did.

“I think you should take it,” Poe heard himself say. “For now. Bring it to Luke.”

Finn nodded slowly, enraptured with its perfect symmetry.

 

A shady alley was the most obvious of choices for a mercenary’s rendezvous, but Zaira would have ranked a sunny alley high on the list, too. That was Father’s way; he always went for anything too obvious to seem suspicious.

A tall, portly man stood waiting for her.

“On time,” he said.

Zaira forced herself to sound calm. “As always.”

“You weren’t as a child,” he said gruffly.

“You taught me better,” Zaira replied.

“That’s true; I did.” Jango Fett the Second smirked at his daughter. “I also believe I taught you better than slutting yourself for gain. Or so the rumors reached my ears.”

Zaira froze. She felt like a child again, crying for forgiveness, even as Jango swung the beating stick.

“What rumors?” she asked instead.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” he snapped.

“I don’t.”

“Rumors of you seducing a general,” he hissed. His hand flew out, knocking her backwards. “I taught you better than this!”

Zaira gaped at him.

“I thought you knew better than this. You’re supposed to avoid attention, and now you’ve risked it all for a few more morsels of information,” he snarled. “Do you know how this makes me look?”

“My spies are the best,” he continued. “The. Best. Much better than Delphi’s. And you, my own daughter, don’t even tell me about your survival, yet you risk being caught for your ambition.”

Zaira shook. She’d unconsciously crossed her arms across her stomach, the position she’d taken as a child whenever Jango lost his temper.

But now there was life in her stomach, and she realized she would never treat her child like he had treated her.

Zaira straightened. She had to live with her life, and this wasn’t her life anymore.

“So, all you care about is your reputation. Not terribly shocking, but I’ll have you know that you’ve judged all wrong. _All_. Wrong.”

“Is that so?” Jango wrinkled his nose. “Don’t try and make me selfish to excuse your fecklessness!”

“Because,” Zaira sneered, “I’ll have you know that I never seduced General Hux for gain.”

“Don’t _lie_!”

He could still make her feel terrible about herself. “I’m not. He and I seduced each other. Because we care for each other.”

She laughed at his horror. “And now I am carrying his child.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Jango’s heart hammered.

“I would. I am not your slave anymore. _If_ I continue spying, it won’t be for you, it will be for them – the Resistance. And if you try to turn me in, you’ll have heaps of torture sessions awaiting you. Don’t think you can out-lie me. After all, you ‘taught me everything you know.’”

“Zaira Fett, you get back here!”

She was backing away. “I’ve never been your daughter except in blood. I’m just currency to you.”

“Where are you going? Back to the _First Order_?” Jango snickered. “That’s where you’re wrong, dear _currency_ – do you know how much I sacrificed for you?” His beady eyes narrowed. “Oh, you don’t, do you? You don’t know that as we speak, bounty hunters and trained assassins are swarming your little trainee camp.”

“You lie. You better lie!”

“I don’t lie, unlike you.” Jango smiled.

“King Prana would never allow you to land.”

“Well, it’s a shame King Prana’s been bought out by Maz Kanata to take out the most wanted officer in the First Order.”

He wasn’t lying. His eyes were hatred and power incarnate.

“You bastard!” Zaira screamed. No – oh – no, she couldn’t lose Hux now. Not due to her own mistake of a father. Not Hux, who still had so much space to grow.

His hands closed around hers. “And now you won’t go there, lest you also be destroyed.”

She yanked free. “Oh, but I will. I will, I will, I will. I’m done putting your life before mine.”

He grasped at her, but Zaira was already fleeing back towards the camp.   
            “You’re a fool!” he bellowed in her wake. People stopped and stared at him.

“Bugger off,” spat Jango, face red with rage.

 

“Rey?”

She turned to see Finn approaching the cliff. “Isn’t the water beautiful?”

“Of course.” He stood by her side, watching the dusk claim back the ocean. He had to talk to her right now.

Rey hesitated. “Finn, is everything all right?”

He stuttered. “Rey, is it all right for a man to love another man?”

She blinked. “Don’t most?”

“No, as in, romantic love. I never heard of it as a stormtrooper.”

Rey brushed a strange of hair out of her eyes. “Well, I knew a few instances of men loving men and women loving women on Jakku. They say love is the foundation of the light side, so how could it be bad?”

“I love Poe,” Finn blurted.

A smile began spreading across her face. She’d suspected Poe loved Finn, but she hadn’t seen any reciprocity. “I think that’s wonderful.”

“I love you, too,” Finn added. “Just, not, you know – I don’t want to kiss you and hold you like Poe.”

Rey grinned. “I understand. I’m so happy for you.”

She threw her arms around him, and Finn melted into her hug. “I don’t even think I know what love is, but I can’t stop saying I love people.”

“Then that makes two of us.” Rey wiped her eyes. “I’m glad you have Poe.”

“Me too.” Finn blushed. His eyes swept out to sea, to the sun sinking under the horizon. “Rey, do you ever get this feeling – this feeling that you belong here, but not quite here? Like there’s something calling to you here, telling you everything you need to do, and you realize it’s what you wanted all along?”

Rey’s heart leapt. “I always thought that was because of the temple.”

“Then why can _I_ feel it?” Finn became acutely aware of the tetrahedron resting in his pocket, but he was afraid to show it, afraid he may have desecrated something sacred. Afraid Luke Skywalker, defeater of the Empire, would hate him.

Rey frowned. “Do you –”

“I’m not saying I’m Force-sensitive,” Finn interrupted. How he wished he could feel like he belonged, permanently.

Rey’s eyes twinkled. “But what if you are?”

“Rey, I’ve never used the Force and would never recognize it.”

Rey closed her eyes and tried to feel. _Life_. Finn was full of life, that much was for certain, but was there more?

“You know who would know?” she asked slowly.

“No way. I’m not asking Luke,” Finn hissed.

“I was talking about Ben.”

 

Zaira raced towards the camp. Hux, Phasma, the stormtroopers – no harm could come to them. She wasn’t sure she could bear life without them.

The sound of blasters filled her eyes with uncharacteristic tears. She needed to stop being so – _emotional_ – damn it!

“I wouldn’t go there, were I you.”

Zaira tripped over her feet. “You!”

King Prana’s preposterous face loomed ahead. Alarm filled his expression.

“Jango told you I wouldn’t be here, didn’t he? How long have you known him?”

Prana opened his mouth, but he never got the chance to respond, for a startled Prana was perfectly easy to knock into a tree.

Hux’s quarters were empty, of course. Zaira heaved, halfway relieved that he wasn’t already slaughtered, halfway terrified for whatever lay ahead.

 

Kylo gasped awake. In his nightmares he interrogated Rey over and over, along with Chewy and his mother and – and Han…

And he wanted the dreams to be true, because then Han would be alive.

_The ocean._

_At night you dream of an island on an ocean…_

He’d seen this place before. In Rey. Rey’d seen this place before. Kylo shivered.

He didn’t have to be a genius to know they were at the sight of the first Jedi temple. But how had a scavenger seen this before?

Rey was special, that he admitted, but how could she have seen a place she’d never been?

Something called to him here, besides the Light. It tormented him.

R2-D2 noticed his distress and beeped at him.

“Something wants us here, but I don’t know what it is,” Kylo whispered to the droid. “Am I paranoid?”

 _No, that’s C-3PO_ , replied the droid.

“I need to speak to Luke.”

_He’s sleeping._

“Since when has that stopped me?” Kylo struggled to his feet. Did R2 remember when he was a child, sneaking up to ask his mother one more question about the Force and Darth Vader.

The droid beeped furiously, then abruptly stopped.

Kylo turned around to see Chewy watching him.

R2 tapped him. _Say it, say it_.

“How long have you been there?” Kylo asked shakily.

Chewy shrugged. Kylo would have bet his life that the Wookie’d been watching him sleep every night they’d been on Ahch-To.

The words stuck in his throat. His palms sweated.

What good was an apology when there was no resurrection? Kylo’s eyes filled with tears.

Chewy groaned. _I’m not sorry I shot you_.

Kylo then found himself in a very furry embrace.

 

RT-3131 had never known panic before. But now, watching Hundred fall in front of her, she did.

She’d been instructed to never, ever fear for her own life, but Phasma and Dax, and all of her teachers – they had never mentioned fearing for another’s.

 

“Prana, that fucking bastard!”

This was his second battle and Hux was no better prepared. But if she weren’t here, she must be hurt – and he would rather bleed himself, and have all the stormtroopers bleed, than her.

Although she might not want that. Hux’s already frayed nerves now had guilt on top of _surprise massacre_ to endure.

“We need to get back to the _Finalizer_ ,” Phasma said calmly. A mere flick of her arm cued half a dozen trainees to fire into the trees. Bodies fell like rain, screaming or worse, silenced.

“It’s a bit difficult when we’re surrounded by mercenaries.” Hux’s eyes landed on one of Prana’s guards. Supreme Leader Snoke would ravage all of them for this. But he himself might not be around to enact that.

“We can’t lose.” Phasma fired her plaster. “The First Order can’t suffer this defeat.”

“Then tell me a better option,” snapped Hux.

“Look straight ahead.” Phasma fired to the right, as three flametroopers sent flames leaping onto the barracks and the forest beyond.

 

Zaira plunged through the smoke to the central barracks. She ducked to dodge a blaster shot, and the first person she saw was 3100.

Lying on the dirt, close to the flames.

3131 was shaking him and sobbing loudly.

“Stop it!” Zaira ordered, kneeling besides the girl. Her hands slipped under his helmet, forcing the mangled armor off to reveal a bruised and bleeding young man with black hair and golden skin.

Her fingers pressed against his neck. “He’s alive!”

“Really?” cried 3131. “Wait.” She yanked her own helmet off and forced it over his head.

“Now you need to get him away from here, back towards Phasma,” commanded Zaira. “Understand?”

3131 nodded through her tears.

“Don’t worry about protocol – just do it.” Zaira scampered off through the smoke.

Phasma’s uniform glistened ahead. “Phasma! What’s the plan?”

“Back to the _Finalizer_ ,” said the Captain.

“Some of us will have to hold back, then, to make sure the wounded get aboard,” said Zaira.

“Will you help them, Zaira?”

“One condition – I’ve heard from these soldiers Hux is actually the target. Get him on board _immediately_.” Zaira tried to breathe steadily. If Phasma knew her condition, she would never allow Zaira to stay, but Zaira couldn’t fathom leaving anyone behind.

Phasma inhaled sharply. She didn’t question Zaira. “Done.”

 

“I’ve seen Zaira – you’re the General and you are going aboard now.” Phasma fought the urge to shake the nervous general in front of her. Babysitting her superior in addition to her trainees was asking too much.

But she could tough it out. She always had.

“Zaira –”

“Lieutenant Dax is doing her duty, as should you, sir,” said Phasma.

Hux peered at the smoky trees, the soaring mountains. He was quite certain he’d never be calm again.

 

Zaira coughed and shoved the last casualty, a likely to die RT-3189, aboard.

“I counted five bodies,” she wheezed, forcing herself not to feel. Not yet.

The ship began to rise. Phasma knelt down and yanked Zaira aboard. “Then our training prepared them well.”

Zaira chuckled, as another blaster exploded.

She jerked involuntarily, whirled around to see King Prana, horror on his face. He’d been aiming for Phasma, not her!

Zaira tasted blood and realized with a start that she felt weak – like she was drowning in her own blood. Her fingers traced a disturbingly large hole in her right chest.

_Oh – that shouldn’t be there …_

“Zaira!” Phasma slammed the door shut and lifted her friend. “Keep breathing, Lieutenant! That’s an order!”

Zaira smiled lazily.

 

“If you spot any ships leaving the planet surface, fire.” General Hux left the bridge and hurried through the hallway.

“You!” He squinted at a stormtrooper. Which one was this? Oh, forget his memory. “Where is Lieutenant Dax?”

The stormtrooper tried not to tremble. “Medical bay.”

“Is she hurt?” he barked.

“I – I believe so, sir…”

Hux raced through the corridors. Nothing much, nothing severe, most likely. But he had to know.

A tall, blonde woman in Phasma’s armor stood outside; the captain was hardly the homely hag he’d imagined her.

“What happened?!”

She opened her mouth, but Hux had already barged inside.

Good. Phasma wanted Zaira’s survival, but that would make everything so much harder.

Her hands smoothed the bloodstained letters she’d found transferring her friend to a stretcher, letters that might just have condemned her friend to a justified death.

She’d rather FN-2187 imprison her on the Starkiller again.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Rey encounters an unexpected visitor and Phasma debates revealing Zaira as a spy, Hux - well - Hux still has no idea that he's going to be a father.

Chapter Eleven

 

Pain faded into Zaira’s consciousness before anything else, followed by nausea. Then, at last, memory.

The stormtroopers – 3189 – Jango.

Zaira gasped and bolted upright, her hands flying to her abdomen. But no, she’d been hit in the chest, not the stomach.

It would be so much easier if she wasn’t pregnant, she knew, but a part of her grew warm inside to think that she and Hux were creating life.

A glance around the medical bay revealed only a handful of healing stormtroopers, most of who were situated quite far from her and appeared either asleep or comatose. Medical droids whizzed to and fro, but aside from one that beeped at her sudden movement, none seemed overly concerned with their patients.

Her fingers traced the sizeable bandage over her chest. For how long had she been unconscious?

And yet she still felt groggy. Zaira fought the urge to sleep. She had to see how much damage Jango had done – she had to help in whatever was she could – it was only fair.

Had the Resistance been a part of this? Zaira swallowed the guilt that she had not informed for weeks. Of course they wouldn’t know where she was.

At the familiar clink of armor, Zaira whipped her head towards the door. “Captain Phasma!”

Phasma stood in the frame. “So the doctors were right when they said you’d be awake any hour now.”

“How long has it been?”

“Two days, Lieutenant.” Phasma’s voice was cold; Zaira felt guilty even though she wasn’t sure what she had done.

“Phasma, what’s wrong?”

“I’m curious to know why they shot an ally like you. Was it a disagreement over money?”

Zaira’s mouth dropped open. She raised the pitch of her voice, just like Jango had taught her. “What – what are you talking about?”

“I think you know, Lieutenant Dax.”

“That’s _preposterous_! Phasma, what is going on?” Zaira’s heart hammered. How could Phasma know?

Phasma drew herself up. “Then is it not true that RT-3131 saw you leave shortly before the fight precipitated? Leaving, perhaps, to meet with a father doubling as a contact, ‘in the alley at the southernmost point in the market?’”

The letters. No. Zaira fought to keep an innocent expression on her face.

“You know, you look so neutral, so calm. You must have made quite a good spy,” spat Phasma. “But a terrible teacher, unless killing the ones you taught sounds good to you.”

“No, that’s not how it is!” Not that Zaira expected Phasma to listen to her.

“No matter. You’ll be turned into the General’s hands now, you seductive little bitch.” Phasma marched away without wasting a second.

“Wait!” Zaira gasped, scrambling out of bed despite the stunning pain. “Phasma, please – please listen to me! There’s so much more to it than you know, I swear.”

She rounded the corner to see five stormtroopers clustered together – RT-3131, an apparently recovered 3100, 3264, 4567, and 1238. Behind them, facing the window to the stars, stood General Hux.

The general turned around, and in his gloved hand Zaira saw two very familiar notes, covered in dried blood.

Any hope she had shattered.

“Seize her.”

The stormtroopers – her pupils – grabbed her, twisted her arms behind her back, shoved her to her knees with such force her head contacted the floor, before one of them straightened her up by pulling on her braid.

They were strong, efficient, formidable. Not that she would have tried to run, not now.

As Phasma watched, Hux approached Zaira, almost hesitantly.

She forced herself to meet his eyes, his eyes brimming with fury and hope and desperation.

“Are these letters yours?”

Zaira didn’t feel she had the right to look away. She wanted so strongly to soothe him with lies.

Her voice came out a whisper. “They are.”

“Are you a spy for the Resistance?” His voice rose.

Zaira blinked back tears. “Yes.”

She flinched and stared at the floor, anything but Hux. Tears spilled down her cheeks – she hadn’t cried in so long, but now she was undone.

For a full minute Hux was too shocked to move. He’d raged and pounded the walls and denied and hoped since Phasma turned in the letter, but someone he’d never let himself feel what this meant. And now every inch of him hurt.

She felt his gloved hand on her, pulling her chin up until she had to look him in the eyes again.

His blue eyes burned; her auburn ones pooled. Crocodile tears, he thought.

He felt like Phasma, locked in the trash compactor by her own stormtrooper. Like Han Solo, murdered by Kylo Ren.

“You …” Hux couldn’t think of a way to finish the sentence.

His hand released her. Immediately his gloves were off and tossed onto the floor, as if the weeping girl before him had contaminated them.

“Captain Phasma.”

“How much did you tell them?” Phasma demanded.

“Nothing in recent weeks,” Zaira pled.

“Tell that to our dead cadets!” hissed Hux.

“I didn’t,” Zaira insisted.

“Fine, then. You’ll be executed that much sooner, then,” snapped Hux. “Escort her to an interrogation room.”

“No!” Zaira knew what awaited her there, and suddenly she found herself struggling against the stormtroopers as they dragged her away. But not for her own sake, oh no. “Please, General – wait – please!”

“I hardly expected you to beg for mercy,” Hux said with disgust. “But then, why would I expect anything of you?”

“I’m not asking you to spare me for me. I betrayed you – I’ve always been betraying you, despite how I tried to convince myself otherwise.” She swallowed. “But I am – General Hux – I – I’m pregnant with your child. I ask your mercy for their sake.”

Hux froze, his face a deadly white.

“Please,” Zaira choked out.

“It’s – it’s not possible!” Hux spluttered suddenly. “How – the doctor – I never – I – you lie!”

“I’m not lying,” Zaira said shakily.

Hux’s face had now turned the color of his hair. “I don’t believe you. It’s not possible.”

Zaira squeezed her eyes shut. “You know it is.”

“No, I don’t! Captain Phasma, call a doctor.” Hux felt numb and nauseated with horror.

“Sir.”

“This is far too convenient,” Hux fumed while they waited.

“I was in town to speak with an apothecary as well as my father,” Zaira explained.

Hux huffed. “We’ll see what our doctors have to say. You’re not. You can’t be.”

Phasma returned with an elderly doctor in tow.

“I wouldn’t know – I only treated her chest wound,” stammered the old man.

“Can you determine if she is pregnant or not?” Hux could barely speak.

“Yes, sir –”

“Then do it quickly,” he commanded. His throat was now raw with acid.

The doctor sighed and beckoned the stormtroopers to bring Zaira over. Her face flushed as he pressed a silvery probe against her abdomen – what if the Cerean had been wrong, or she’d lost it after all? She didn’t want to die, but she would do so with tears only for those she’d hurt, not herself.

The probe beeped. The doctor frowned and pressed a bit harder. Hux’s heart raced.

Finally the doctor stepped back. “It appears she is about a month along, General.”

“What?!” Hux was positively apoplectic. “No – I mean – she is – what?”

“You may go,” Phasma instructed the poor doctor. “General, your orders?”

“How do I even know if it’s mine?” screeched Hux.

Zaira let out a cry. “Why would I – well, why would I jeopardize myself by sleeping with you and another man?”

Hux’s eyes hardened. “I see.”

“That’s not the only reason, not that I expect you to believe me.” Her palms began sweating. She felt weak.

“General.”

Hux’s eyes darted to Phasma. Then back to Zaira. “What is it, captain?”

“Your orders?”

“Stop pressuring me!” he hissed. He was beginning to hyperventilate – he needed to think, think, _think_. Decide. _Be a leader_ , his father’s voice commanded.

“Throw her onto a TIE fighter and make sure it gets _far_ away.”

Zaira hardly dared to breathe.

“But hear me loud and clear: if I see you again, I will kill you – with pleasure,” he snarled.

As the stormtroopers hauled Zaira away, Hux stood twitching.

“Sir.” Phasma wasn’t even sure what to say.

“I’ve a speech to write,” he said suddenly, brushing past the captain. “On the dangers of sentimentality and trust.”

If he gained more motivation and inspiration, perhaps this would be a good thing, Hux told himself.

No wonder Snoke despised sentiment.

 

“Chewie says he’s changed, but what if it’s a farce?” Leia grabbed Luke’s hands. “I’ve waited fifteen years for this, Luke, and now I’m afraid to believe it.”

“I doubt it has – not fully. Change is slow. Like the decay of this temple. Or, you know, building of a temple; that’s probably a better analogy,” Luke stammered.

The truth was he feared forgetting his pupil’s massacre at the hands of Ben Solo. He feared believing the spirit of Darth Vader, the spirit of the dark side, would ever end. He’d believed it once, and ignored all warning signs until twenty dead students lay at his feet.

“I’ve spent a month on this island, praying for my son’s soul and waiting for no news on the First Order. What am I doing here, Luke?”

“Leia, I brought us here. To heal your son.”

Her eyes widened. “The temple.”

“Yes.”

Leia’s eyes narrowed. “You’re lying. There’s something more.”

“There’s something in the temple that can – can help, if the Light is strong enough in him,” Luke explained.

“What, exactly?” Leia felt foreboding in her bones. If Ben was to reclaim the Light, she wanted him to do it, not some Force relic. “What would happen if he were too dark?”

 

“Ben.”

Kylo glanced up to see one nervous Finn and one very determined Rey.

R2 greeted Rey, who smiled at the droid. “We have a question. Well, really Finn does – it’s taken me two whole days to convince him to come to you.”

“Ironically, I’m less afraid of you than Luke,” Finn said breezily, to cover his embarrassment.

Kylo’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“This.” Finn thrust the tetrahedron at Kylo. “What is this?”

Kylo clamored to his feet to gain a better look.

“Do you know?” Rey asked after a minute.

“No.”

“No?!” Rey was aghast. “We know you know! Look, you can’t take your eyes off it!”

Kylo glowered. “I meant I don’t know _what_ it is, precisely. It – I can feel the Force in it, and you, and – and me.”

He stared at Finn. He felt it in the former stormtrooper, his stubborn one-sided friend. But to tell Finn, to let him know he was special – the Force had helped kill Ben Solo.

The Force was dangerous. If he wanted to change – and he wasn’t positive he did because he didn’t know if he could – he feared the Force. The Dark Side would find him; it always had. Neither the Light nor the Dark would ever release him.

How could he expose someone else?

“Kylo – Ben – if you know something, please tell us. For Finn.”

“I can’t read the inscriptions. I doubt anyone alive could, save – save the Supreme Leader.”

“Snoke.” Rey scowled.

“Why can I feel it? Is it so powerful even someone without the Force can feel it?” demanded Finn.

Kylo wavered. “Possibly.”

Finn noticed his hesitation. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“He has the Force, doesn’t he?” Rey said.

“So it seems,” Kylo said flatly.

“So why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because – because the Force, the power – it’s dangerous. Look at me.”

Finn gaped at him.

“Yes, it is,” Rey agreed. “But, Ben, we’re your allies now. Friends, even, if you’ll let us. Together, maybe we can help each other.”

Kylo fell lost to her eyes; he swam in her emotions. “Can we?”

“Of course.” Rey tilted her head. “I suppose our first step might be figuring out what exactly this object does.”

“I have the Force. The Force,” Finn said, dumbstruck. All his isolation, all his sensitivity, all his life suddenly made sense.

“You didn’t need this rock to tell.” Kylo tossed it back to Rey, who caught it perfectly. “Anyone who handled a Lightsaber the way you did has to be gifted.”

“You nearly paralyzed me,” said Finn. “It’s hardly a moment I stood out.”

“To yourself, maybe not,” said Kylo. Merely complimenting another made him feel strangely happy.

“Shall we take this to Luke?” Rey beamed at Finn. She wasn’t alone! Her best friend had the same power, the same gift, she did.

“How can Luke help?” asked Kylo. “He left this – object in a cave.”

“I doubt he knew where it was.” Rey crossed her arms.

Kylo raised an eyebrow.

“What do you suggest?” Finn crossed his arms in imitation of Rey.

“Find someone who will _actually_ know what it is.”

“I’ll go talk to Luke.” Rey shoved the tetrahedron at Finn. “Hold onto this.”

Kylo’s face fell, but she didn’t notice.

“Are you ashamed to talk to Luke?” Finn asked gently.

“I killed a lot of people he loved, Finn.”

“He loves you, too.”

“I’m not sure I can accept love. From him, or the General.”

“But Chewie? Rey and I tried to talk to you two nights ago,” confessed Finn. “We saw your, uh, cuddle session.”

“Chewie was my oldest friend.”

“And we’re your newest,” Finn stated.

 

Rey hurried towards Luke’s quarters.

“Where are you off in such a hurry?”

She frowned at an unfamiliar young man lounging against a jagged rock. “Do I know you?”

“Probably not,” he confessed.

Rey frowned. Something seemed almost ethereal about this man. She took a step closer and gasped. “I can see through you!”

He smiled sadly. “Yes, that happens when you’re dead.”

Rey’s mouth fell open. “You’re a ghost?”

“I just said I was dead.”

She drew herself up. “Stop being so difficult.”

The ghost beamed. “You’re quite determined; that’s good. You’ll need it.”

“Why? Who are you?”

“Someone better known by another name, someone here to tell you that Luke can’t answer your questions.”

“But you can, I suppose? I’m not in the mood for riddles.”

“I can, but not to the extent you want. Suffice to say, that’s something you don’t want in the hands of the Dark Side,” the ghost said.

“Why not?” Rey clutched the tetrahedron.

“It’s called the Codex. It amplifies the power of the Force.”

“Is this why Finn could sense his power only here?”

The ghost raised his eyebrows. “You already know that answer.”

Rey held the Codex carefully. “So how can we use this?”

“It’s a gift, not a weapon.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you have some answers to search for,” the ghost said with a smirk. “Now, who’s the oldest living person you know?”

Rey thought for a moment. “Her name is Maz.”

“Ah. A pirate who flout the rules sounds like a safe choice. No, really, it does.” The ghost nodded. “I suggest you go to her, and quickly. The chances of the First Order catching the Codex are no longer unlikely, with the entire Resistance located here.”

“You expect me to trust you?” Rey replied with suspicion.

“Yes, because I know the Dark Side, better than most,” pled the ghost.

Rey knew it. “You’re Anakin Skywalker.”

“Guilty,” said the ghost sadly.

Rey’s heart stirred with compassion. “You saved Luke. And the galaxy.”

“But not my wife, nor my daughter,” said Anakin. “You need to go to Takodana; you feel it, don’t you?”

Rey’s mind spun. “Maybe.”

The ghost nodded. “Take Ben with you. Fitting, isn’t it, to take him back to where he took you?”

“How do you know that?” she demanded.

“I’m a ghost. Now, hurry.”

Before Rey could demand another answer, Anakin faded from view.

 

            “Rey, what are you doing out in the rain?” Poe groggily opened the door to see a soaked-through Jedi before him.

            “How do you feel like taking a trip? Just me, your beloved, and an ex-knight as passengers?”

            Poe’s face scrunched up like an accordion. “ _What_?”

 

            “I’ve thought it over, and I’ve felt the Force. Luke’s deceiving Leia, because of fear or shame or something like that. I can’t explain the details. But, Poe, we have to go,” Rey insisted as they hurried to Kylo’s prison chamber.

            “On the word of a ghost? And not just any Force ghost, but Darth Vader’s ghost?!”

            Kylo’s head jerked up as they entered the room. “My grandfather’s ghost? He was here?”

            “The Anakin version,” Rey said.

            “Did Luke talk to him? We’ve been waiting for an hour,” Finn said.

            “No, he showed up and said this,” – Rey waved the tetrahedron around – “is something called a Codex, and it strengthens the Force, and I should take it to Maz Kanata because she’s the oldest living being in the galaxy. Oh, and I should take Ben, too.”

            “Him?” gasped Finn.

            “Maz has every right to shoot me on spot,” Kylo protested. “It – it makes no sense. Why wouldn’t Anakin’s ghost tell you what Maz apparently needs to tell you? Why can’t we tell the famous Luke Skywalker? Why did Anakin’s ghost appear to _you_ and not _me_?”

“I don’t know,” Rey said with a frown. “But I feel like it’s what we ought to do.”

“So do I,” Finn said, begrudgingly, after a pause.

“Sneaking out a prisoner, abandoning our posts, flying closer to danger.” Poe’s voice dripped in sarcasm. “Anything else to add?”

“No, that’s a good summary,” said Kylo.

“Shut up, you.” Poe gestured at Finn. “You, come with me. Rey can use the Force to sneak Kylo out.”

“I knew the Force could work like that,” Finn muttered.

 

“We have a TIE fighter incoming.”

“Shoot it!” exclaimed Prana.

“Wait.” Maz held up a wrinkled hand. She closed her eyes and felt the Force. “I sense nothing malevolent.”

“If you say so.” Prana cocked an eyebrow.

“Don’t give me that look. I hired you to capture a general, not murder his soldiers.”

Prana shrugged. “I was persuaded by extraneous sources. You understand that, Maz.”

Maz sniffed. “I don’t. Perhaps I’ll unleash your new Acklay upon you.”

“As long as it uses its Force lightning,” said Prana, to Maz’s aggravation.

As soon as the ship landed, Maz approached with Prana’s guards.

“I’d really feel better shooting it,” he muttered.

“Don’t you dare!” She waved back the guards.

Zaira had briefly considered crashing into the planet’s surface when she’d realized that the only place she had enough fuel to reach was Prana’s, but somehow she was still alive. In Prana’s hands, yes, but perhaps he’d prove an ally if he thought her a fugitive spy for the Resistance.

Her chest burned and oozed. Wincing, Zaira climbed out of the fighter to see a small orange creature engaging her in a staring contest.

“Who are you?”

“Maz Kanata. And you’re, hmm, someone who will never quit.”

“How do you know that?”

“My child, I could say your eyes, but it could also be your torn and bleeding First Order uniform, or your return to the planet that just tried to kill you.”

“Zaira!” Prana hurried over, smoothing his ruffled hair. “I didn’t mean to hit you – I was aiming for the shiny one!”

“Well, I’m glad you missed,” Zaira said angrily.

“Who are you?” Maz squinted up at Zaira.

“I…I wish I knew.” Zaira felt like being obstinate, and besides, Maz had killed her trainees. And tried to kill him.

“Well, you can give me the cryptic replies if you want; I’ve heard it all before and don’t believe a smidge of it! I do suspect, however, that if I let you accompany me off this wretched zoo and back to the Resistance, you’d get a warm welcome.”

Zaira doubled over. “I’m not so sure of that.”

“Then I suppose we’ll find out.” Maz snapped her fingers. “My jet is that way, and you’re in no position to argue. You didn’t come back to see _Prana_ , did you?”

“I didn’t come back to see the one who slaughtered half-trained soldiers, either.” Zaira laughed desperately.

Maz’s face softened. “I regret entrusting Prana.”

“You still wanted to kill someone who’d never had a chance to see anything different,” Zaira objected, hugging herself.

“I thought it was the only way to save innocent life.” Maz shook her head. “I was wrong.”

Zaira frowned; she had hardly expected an infamous, thousand year old pirate to admit fault.

“Do you trust me enough now? You need help, child.” Maz extended a small orange hand.

Zaira swallowed defeat along with the lump in her throat. She took Maz’s hand.

 

 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've seen emo Kylo Ren, but now you're about to see emo General Hux.

Chapter Eleven

 

General Leia woke up to a Wookiee’s roar.

“Your Highness!” C-3PO tottered into her room, hand over his mouth. “It appears Kylo Ren has escaped, along with Masters Rey and Finn!”

“And Poe Dameron.” Admiral Statura burst in next. “Oh – sorry to wake you, General.”

Leia rolled her eyes to hide her horror. “You needn’t apologize when it’s this important. Where’s Luke?”

“With Chewie. The Wookiee is quite enraged.” 3PO hurried off.

Leia found an anguished Chewbacca in Ben’s chamber. Luke stood close by, but R2 captured Leia’s attention, whirling up to Chewie and beeping a smattering of phrases.

“What is this nonsense, R2?” huffed C-3PO.

“What did he say?” demanded Statura.

“Stop being so obstinate,” 3PO fumed.

“He said that Rey and Finn and Poe took Ben for undisclosed reasons,” Leia said slowly. Could it be true? Could Ben not have fled?

“Undisclosed, in a war!” C-3PO shook his head. “R2, what’s gotten into you.”

R2’s retort was sharp and quick.

“When have I ever not understood the point?” gasped 3PO.

“Luke, look at me.” Leia glared at her brother’s back.

Luke turned around, slowly. “I can’t feel it anymore.”

“Feel what?” Leia questioned.

Luke shook his head. Terror rolled over him once more – terror of his final failure, Leia’s rejection.

“Son, it’s time you atoned for your actions by being brave again,” Ackbar said, entering the room.

Tears filled Luke’s eyes.

“Luke, we need you,” Leia said.

“I hid it here, to keep it safe. They must have found it.”

“‘It?’”

Chewie moaned.

“The Codex.”

 

“Am I the only one here who doesn’t know how to pilot?” Finn inquired to break the silence.

BB-8 chirped back.

“BB doesn’t know, either,” Poe interpreted.

“Thanks, BB.”

 _Beep-eep-cheep_.

“Yeah, I’d love to see us race, too, so I can kick his ass.” Poe jerked a thumb at Kylo Ren. Finn chuckled.

“I haven’t flown in years,” Kylo admitted. Another way he’d betrayed Han. But, really, just by having the Force he’d betrayed him.

“No time like the present.” Poe jumped out of the pilot’s seat.

“Are you crazy? We’ve got to get to Takodana,” cried Rey.

“We’ll get there. You’ll teach him,” Poe said mischievously. “I mean, if we’re hauling him along, he ought to make himself useful.”

“He’s right beside you to hear that,” grumbled Kylo.

“Oh I know.” Poe smirked at Kylo.

Rey snapped her mouth shut and glowered at Poe. “Finn, control your cute boyfriend.”

Turning back to Kylo, she asked, “How much do you recall?”

“I remember that if we’re already in hyperspace, there’s no need for a pilot – including him, I suppose.” Kylo forced himself to laugh. “It’s a joke.”

Rey smirked at Poe’s alarmed expression. “I’m amused. The droid, however, is not.”

BB-8 flashed his stingers.

“We’ll be landing in approximately two minutes, which I think is Poe’s plan – to have you land us, that is.”

“Wonderful.” Kylo pursed his lips. “Uh…uh…which button do I press to put us back in real space?”

He wanted to excuse himself by admitting he’d only ever flown the Millennium Falcon, but he couldn’t mention his father. Not now, when he was breaking his mother’s heart all over again.

Rey giggled, a noise that jolted Kylo out of his misery. The girl … he was glad she was happy.

“This one, but not yet. I’ll tell you when. You’ll also want one hand free to steer.”

“I remember that,” said Kylo.

“Get ready.”

“You might want to hold on, BB-8,” said Poe.

“Are you sure about this?” Finn hissed.

Poe grinned, gesturing at Rey and Kylo. “Absolutely.”

Someday he’d tell Finn that the only moments he felt close to his departed parents were moments like now, moments when he landed or took off, when his stomach soared and he knew, beyond shadow of a doubt, that there was meaning wedged within this universe of exhilaration and despair.

Finn watched them, too, and felt the peculiar notion that he was observing something private.

“You’ll need to do exactly as I say.”

“I will,” Kylo said nervously.

“One…two…three, now!”

Real space tumbled into their view. The stars became streaks and then pinpricks as they soared above the greenest planet. And Kylo, too, felt as if he were soaring, as if he suddenly remembered why his father loved flying, as if for a moment he had connected with the purest light and it had touched his soul.

“Pull up!”

“R-right!”

“Wonderful, now –”

“Circle downwards,” Kylo finished.

“Precisely. You remember this,” Rey said with a smile.

Kylo smiled back, sparkles abounding in his stomach. Whether memories, nerves, hope, or something else, he didn’t need to know.

The ship careened to an ungraceful halt.

“Hey, watch it,” Poe grumbled.

Rey beamed at him. “You did it!”

 

“Another ship,” Maz grumbled, tottering out of the forest. “They never stop coming.”

Zaira squinted in the sunlight. “Can you feel everyone here?”

“Usually. Makes it easy to prepare tables. Though they all need to be outdoor ones now, thanks to the First Order.” Maz gestured at the stone ruins before them. “For centuries I had my castle. Now, it’s all gone.”

Zaira gasped. “I’m so sorry.”

The creature snorted. “Don’t pity me. I’ve got longer to live and more time to build it. Besides, they didn’t ruin the tunnels of treasure.”

“You’re quite innovative.” Zaira wrapped her arms around herself.

“You better follow me down there right now and change out of that uniform. You’re not likely to be welcomed in those.”

“I suppose not.” Zaira hurried down what remained of a stone staircase.

“In here.” Maz led her through an arched door. “Check the trunk in there.”

Zaira opened it to find a light green dress. Old fashioned, but nicer than anything she’d ever owned. “Oh – oh. I’ve never actually worn a dress.”

“That’s something everyone deserves if they want. Time to start, and quickly, before our new visitor find us.”

Zaira hesitated. To remove – to remove the clothes she’d touched Hux in –

“Would you still help me if you knew I’ve helped both First Order and Resistance?” she burst out, yanking off her belt. Zaira wasn’t sure how much Maz knew of her background, other than that her eyes, of all things, had given her away as a spy.

Maz’s eyes landed on the oozing wound on her chest. “Your eyes are those of a girl who wants to run, but you have not. Your heart is not that of the Dark Side.”

“I’m not Force sensitive.”

“No, but everyone has some midichlorians in them. The Force surrounds you whether you can use it or not.”

“Doesn’t seem fair,” Zaira grumbled, unsure whether she even could run her hands down the breezy fabric without appearing foolish.

“Maz!” A beautiful brunette burst into the room. Over her shoulder, she added, “Told you we’d find her here.”

“Damn Force lied,” a dark-skinned man muttered. The two were followed by Poe Dameron, of all people, and a lanky boy whose gait seemed eerily reminiscent of Kylo Ren.

“Or you weren’t listening to it over your ego,” Maz said, putting her hands on her hips.

“Zaira Dax?” Poe stared at her.

Rey took a step closer. “You’re the officer from the First Order; I remember you!” Her eyes swept the clearly injured and agitated girl. “What happened?”

Zaira’s face scrunched up. “I, er, got found out.”

“She’s been spying on the Order for years,” said Poe. “She’s the reason we knew Starkiller Base was aiming for us.”

“You escaped?” Finn’s mouth dropped.

At the sound of his voice, the young woman took a step forward. Her eyes lit up. “You’re FN-2187.”

Finn lowered his eyes. “Well, I was. But now I’m Finn.” He drew himself up.

“It's good to meet you, Finn,” Zaira said quietly. How she longed for her cadets to follow in his footsteps. _How did you change? What was your secret? Go back for the others, and Phasma and Hux, too!_

“Does the general know where you are?” Poe asked queasily. He could just imagine Leia’s wrath upon finding them here.

“No. I’m done spying.” Her voice was harsh.

“Speaking of reconnaissance, what brings you here, Rey?” Maz asked after an awkward silence. “It’s nice to see you still on this side of the galaxy, Finn. And to meet the famous Poe Dameron.”

“She knows my name,” Poe said, awestruck.

“And who’s this one?” Maz nodded in Kylo’s direction.

“No one of importance,” Finn said quickly.

Maz crossed her arms. “You say one thing, but your eyes tell a different tale.”

“His name is Ben,” Rey said lightly. “But –”

“I knew it!” crowed the orange creature.

“Knew what? That my name was Ben? It’s a common name; I don’t know what you know,” stammered Kylo. He wasn’t prepared for this. His mind was still spinning that there’d been a spy this far up in the Order.

“Your eyes. So afraid and haunted and desperately lonely.” Maz softened. “You’ve got your father’s eyes.”

Kylo blinked. “Mine are darker.”

Maz ignored him. “And your name is Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren.”

Ben jerked, as if the name had slapped him.

Zaira’s stomach lurched, whether from nerves or morning sickness, she didn’t know.

“What?” she screeched at Poe.

“It’s a long story,” began the pilot. “Involving the ghost of Darth Vader and one very alive and very afraid Luke Skywalker, and forgiveness, and a little bit of trust.”

“And this.” Sensing Kylo’s discomfort, Rey unfolded the cloth she held in her hand.

Zaira stared at the glowing tetrahedron. She felt all light, as if she knew the Force, even though she knew full well she had no sensitivity to the mystical side of the galaxy. “What the hell?”

“It’s called the Codex, according to Anakin,” Rey said. “It amplifies the Force.”

“Indeed it is,” Maz murmured.

Rey’s face shone. “You’ve heard of it.”

“We think Luke was guarding it on Acht-To,” added Finn.

“Yet you left Luke to come to Maz,” Zaira said slowly.

“We thought she could tell us more than Luke was willing to,” Finn answered.

“Well, if Snoke were to get his paws on this, just imagine what he could do,” said Maz.

“We can’t because we don’t know enough,” said Kylo irritably.

“Why are you here?” Zaira snapped.

“Because Anakin said for him to come,” Rey answered.

The other woman’s face flooded with confusion and fear, not unlike Rey’s had when she’d found Luke’s lightsaber.

“He didn’t explain that further,” Rey added kindly.

“So is he no longer on the Dark Side, or is it just the Codex influencing him?” Zaira demanded. Her eyes pricked. How could Kylo Ren be redeemed and not Hux? Because he had some mysterious force that played favorites, abandoning most of the galaxy to despair?

Rey instinctively grabbed Kylo’s hand as Finn scrutinized the woman before them. Though daintily dressed, she had strength in her eyes – and anger – and fear – and heartbreak.

“Never mind,” Zaira sighed, as nausea welled up within her. “I’m not a judge.”

“You don’t look so well,” Finn said.

“Perhaps we should all sit down and have a long discussion.” Maz looked pointedly at Zaira. “If you’re still willing to believe in the Force.”

“My objections stem from practicality, not belief,” Zaira retorted, easing herself onto the floor.

Kylo rolled his eyes. He thought he’d left practicality behind when Hux fled D’Qar.

“I used to have a book with more information,” Maz said, waving a hand around. “I don’t know where it is in all this mess.”

“I’m s-sorry,” Kylo said awkwardly. Although he felt worse about kidnapping Rey than destroying a business.

Maz scoffed. “Son, I’m responsible for the deaths of half a dozen innocent stormtroopers three days ago. War makes people go to extremes: ruining a temple, destroying a home, killing people. It’s comfortable like that. Why else would it keep happening?” She leaned forward, eying the Codex. “Now that, though, would you say it’s comfortable?”

“Hell no,” Poe said. “And I don’t even have the Force.”

“We agree on something,” Zaira said brightly, trying not to vomit the few morsels Maz had given her.

Maz smiled. “Yes, because that stone contains the essence of the Force.”

“Just the Light Side, or the Dark also?” Poe grabbed Finn’s hand.

Finn blushed, but he rather liked the feeling. He noticed the lavender-haired girl’s surprise, felt her warmth towards them and their relationship. Why she approved, he didn’t know, but it emboldened him nonetheless.

“Has to be both, right? Or else Luke wouldn’t have been guarding it.”

“Neither.” Maz looked straight into the tetrahedron. “And all. Whatever the user has, the Codex will strengthen. Both the Light, and the Dark.” Her eyes roamed to Kylo.

He shook. He wasn’t hypnotized by the Light, as the spy had accused. He really did have the Light – he could choose.

But which one? He’d been a servant of the dark for so long.

_A servant, or slave?_

Rey’s voice popped in his head. Kylo gaped at her.

She was equally shocked. “I can read his mind. Is it – is it that thing?”

BB-8 whirred as Maz took off her glasses. “Most likely it’s amplifying a connection you two already have.”

“Yes, abductions and lightsaber duels,” Kylo said sarcastically.

“Duels? Thanks, but I’d rather not read your mind,” Finn interjected playfully. Oh, he felt at home here – filled with purpose and happiness and family.

“You’re too busy reading Poe.”

Rey choked back a laugh; Zaira choked back vomit. BB-8 buzzed over to her and tapped her legs.

“Oh hello,” Zaira rasped.

The droid leaned its head against her, almost as if comforting her, and teas pricked her eyes.

“The Force is in every life. Even droids can feel it,” Maz said dreamily.

“Back to the Codex,” said Rey, smiling at BB-8.

“Yes. Long ago – or so the book of legends says – the Jedi and the Sith were one. When one Jedi rejected the complacency of the Jedi Order, his brothers rejected him, and so the Sith were born.”

“But that was _good_ ,” Kylo interrupted. “Anger can be good, emotions can be _good_. How can sitting back and letting the Force flow through you as the galaxy burns be called Light?”

“Because that’s not what Light does,” Maz said patiently. “Anger is good. Emotions are good. The Dark side is necessary, to an extent. Yet the Light – the love and service and kindness some view as apathy – is also good.”

“But the wars and hatred come from the dark,” said Finn.

“But the Light also fights,” Rey said uncomfortably.

“And apathy towards deaths, even those serving what you call Dark, functions like hatred,” Zaira said to Finn. “How many of your fellow stormtroopers are killed without a second thought? I knew their numbers and nicknames and persons, and I knew how they danced, and it’s not _fair_ that they die.”

“Dance?” Finn frowned.

“What exactly did you _do_ in the First Order?” Kylo was baffled.

“I spied on them,” Zaira said petulantly. She was acting just like Jango, and she didn’t care. She wasn’t giving anyone more reasons to distrust her _ever again_. Especially not Kylo Ren, whose rivalry with Hux was legendary.

“Don’t think I don’t care about the stormtroopers. We were all together as one, from our childhoods,” Finn said with conviction. Nines’ cry of “Traitor!” had hurt him far worse than Kylo Ren ever had.

Poe squirmed. He’d lately been haunted by thoughts of Slip, Finn’s friend he’d killed. So many lives, treated as if they were automatons.

“Have you never heard of the prophecy that balance must be brought to the Force again?”

“No,” Rey said.

Maz smiled directly at Ben. “Anakin was the chosen one, they said.”

Ben swallowed his excitement. “Why isn’t the Force balanced, then?”

“Anakin gave his life for his son and by it saved a galaxy. That allowed his daughter to bear a child.”

Kylo laughed harshly. “I’m no savior.”

“You have tremendous potential for Light and Dark. Stop fighting the Light, Ben Solo. Stop _running_ , like your father did.”

Ben’s lips parted. No. He couldn’t be. Not like Han.

Rey put a hand on his shoulder. Ben’s breath caught.

“Perhaps Anakin’s sacrifice was the beginning. Perhaps you will be able to balance the Force on your own, be a savior.” Maz shook her head skeptically.

“I’m weak,” Kylo admitted. His eyes flitted from Finn to Poe, to see if they hated him. He couldn’t bear to look at Rey.

“But you have three wonderful friends who would help.”

“Hey, I don’t have the Force,” Poe protested.

“There’s a difference between not sensing the Force and not partaking in it,” Maz said. “Everyone partakes in it; the longer I live, the more sure I am.”

Even dour Hux partook in the Force. Kylo held back a laugh.

“How do we help? How do we use this thing –” Rey gestured at the Codex “– without being destroyed?”

“That,” said Maz, “is not a question I have an answer to. But I do know this: I’ve spent too long out of this fight. For the Force. I will help you as best I can.”

“So what is the Codex?” Zaira asked.

“Oh, child, we’ve been discussing it this whole time.” Maz’s eyes were sorrowful. “The Codex was invented by the Jedi to destroy the Sith when the Sith first emerged. But the Force cannot be contained to a crystal structure. And so Sith could use it to destroy the Jedi, and Jedi, to destroy the Sith. Eventually, the stories say, it was buried on an unknown location.”

“Where the First Jedi Temple is,” Kylo said.

“Yes.”

“So Luke _was_ guarding it,” Poe said.

“Does it excuse hiding from his family?” Rey still couldn’t fathom leaving a family behind. It would be like her leaving Finn, or Poe, or Ben – and yes, she would call him Ben, because Kylo Ren was only ever a mirage.

 

“We land within the hour, sir.” Phasma entered General Hux’s quarters.

He scowled. “Did I give you permission to enter?”

Phasma surveyed the newly changed sheets to replace the ones he’s burned yesterday, the trash can filled with rejected papers, the circles under Hux’s eyes. “I suggest you control yourself before your meeting with the Supreme Leader.”

“I am _completely_ under control,” he snapped, stomping a foot. “But if it’s not clear, I shall inform Supreme Leader Snoke that we had a spy escape, nothing more. Is that understood, Captain?”

“I witnessed it myself,” Phasma replied.

“Good. Because I won’t have that brat ruin my reputation,” Hux fumed. “I am a dangerous man, Phasma. Do not trifle with me. One word of this and you’ll be demoted. Do you know what I did to Riddick when he planted evidence for my demise?”

“Everyone knows,” Phasma said. “Are you through? Because, sir, that’s the third time you’ve said such a thing today.”

“It is _not_ ,” spat Hux, his face as red as his hair.

Phasma held her breath and counted, just as her mother had taught her. Back when she’d lived a simple life on Coruscant, under the Empire. Back when she’d imagined nothing but follow in her mother’s footsteps as a midwife.

She brushed those memories aside. They’d been unusually strong since yesterday. Finally, she spoke.

“It is true. General, you are acting like Kylo Ren, which won’t please you to hear. But it _certainly_ won’t please the Supreme Leader, who will know something’s amiss and come asking for you-know-who.”

“He’d probably be glad if I acted like Ren; he always favored that Knight,” groused Hux.

“You’ve missed the point.”

“I’ll be fine,” Hux stammered, suddenly looking like a scared child. “I can handle this, Captain.”

“You can,” she assured him.

 

“I have just heard General Hux will be arriving in less than an hour,” purred Snoke.

Jango squeaked. “Sir, it wasn’t my fault!”

“Did I say it was?” Snoke leaned forward. “You said your daughter was a perfect spy, and like a spy, she proved perfectly dishonest.”

“The bitch lost her head. I taught her better, taught her from birth to undermine the First Order,” Jango pled. “That she would do this – warn a general – disgrace our family name –”

“Yes, Fett, such an honorable name.”

Jango’s face pinched. “Well, sir – Supreme Leader – we’re well-respected in the mercenary world!”

“Indeed.” Snoke waved a bony hand. “What do you suggest, Jango Fett? Sneaking his location to Maz Kanata failed, inciting a riot failed. The First Order’s situation is precarious at best – the Starkiller is gone, Kylo Ren has betrayed me, and _Skywalker_ has returned! – and I have a failure for a General I can’t execute or keep.”

“I’ll – I’ll find something. Anything. I’m quite certain our solution is simple: proof that Zaira Dax is a traitor. I’ll testify to that,” suggested Jango.

“You would let me execute your own daughter to further our cause?” Snoke sounded amused.

“Of course. We can arrest her as soon as they arrive.”

“Go. And do not fail me again.” Snoke slumped in his chair. Life was hard when you were dead.

 

 **I know, this was a bit of a slower chapter that didn’t focus as much on the Hux/Zaira dynamic. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty more to come**.

**Also, the incredibly talented Aurora Lynne drew an image of Hux and Zaira’s training sessions. You can check it out at http://auroralynne.tumblr.com/post/142717943772/starchildren-by-aurora-lynne-hey-buttercups-so , if you’re interested.**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Zaira continue to struggle and Rey has a dream that terrifies Ben, while Phasma faces a trying decision.

 

Chapter Twelve

 

Zaira slumped over a stone, praying for vomit. She was done resisting, and Maz had ended their meeting lest their exhausted, fevered brains lead them into error.

“You’re ill.”

She gasped and whirled around to see the Jedi girl. “I’ll be all right.”

Rey approached the gagging girl and held her hair back. “You have beautiful hair.”

“Thanks; I dye it,” Zaira managed. “Why are you helping?”

Rey recalled her own nauseated moments whenever Unkur Plutt’s green meat had spoiled. She’d always hated having to spare enough water to wash her hair out afterwards. “Because I wanted to.”

“You’re not mad at me for accusing your friend earlier?” Actually, Zaira suspected more than just friendship, but she didn’t plan on mentioning it. No sense in complicating an already complicated situation.

“I think it’s quite understandable. When General Leia finds out we’ve left, I’m sure she’ll accuse him, too.”

Zaira finally finished dispensing her stomach contents. She leaned back and closed her eyes. “I’m rather impressed you managed to smuggle him off wherever your base moved.”

“I’m rather impressed you managed to escape the First Order. No one but Finn ever did that,” Rey replied kindly.

“Well, him and Poe,” Zaira said with a small smile.

Rey sensed the young woman’s unease and a story beyond it. Not that she would call her out.

“You’re a good actress.”

Rey turned around to see Ben meandering around the trees.

“You’re looking a bit less frightening than the last time we came here,” she joked, feeling Zaira tense behind her. Naturally, Ben would open his mouth.

Ben’s eyes softened as he met her gaze. “I’d hope so, Rey.”

Zaira clenched her fists. She was virtually certain they weren't mere friends. And the last thing she wanted was to envy their relationship, but oh, she did.

“You’d been gone a while; I went looking for you,” Ben explained.

“I’m not spying on you, if that’s what you’re asking,” Zaira said at length.

Ben tore his gaze from Rey. “I didn’t think you were.”

“We only thought that you leaving the First Order involved something different than an escape. Not that that makes much sense.” Rey frowned.

Zaira teared up. All she wanted was to be trusted. To be trustworthy. And she couldn’t be. Her heart physically ached. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t go back.”

“I’m sorry to upset you,” Ben said awkwardly. He had no idea how to handle a crying girl.

Rey closed her eyes. Ben’s discomfort was almost cute, Zaira’s melancholy was tragic, and – there was more life. Her eyes popped open. “Oh.”

Zaira stiffened.

“Oh what?” demanded Ben.

“None of our business,” Rey said, pink tingeing her cheeks.

Zaira crossed her arms.

“Unless you need to talk,” Rey burst out. “I’ve been alone all my life; I’d like more friends.”

 _You’re so lonely_. Ben blinked as the memory of her pain, and his role in it, assailed him.

Zaira saw his eyes closed and misinterpreted. No more secrets being found out; only truth. “I left because I’m having a baby. It was not a part of my mission, or a betrayal on my part. Understood?”

“Wait, _what_?” Kylo Ren, Ben, whoever his name was, was positively aghast.

Rey’s eyes popped open. “You’re pregnant?”

Zaira squirmed as her face reddened. “Well, yes, that is what having a baby means.”

“I’ve never seen a baby,” said Rey.

Zaira blinked. Just what kind of life had this special scavenger led? “Oh. Well … well, maybe if we don’t hate each other, you’ll have a chance?”

“We don’t hate each other,” Rey assured her, and Zaira felt a rush of relief.

“Wait, but I have so many questions.” Ben rubbed his forehead. “Who’s the father? Is he still loyal to the First Order?”

Her shoulders slumped. “Yes. It was an unwise decision of mine. Please, I’m not.”

“Maz would say that love is never unwise,” said Rey sympathetically. She could tell the girl before her was a fellow lonely soul, and a kind one at that.

Zaira shook her head.

“Who is it?” Ben burst out again. “Do I know him?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Rey said.

Ben felt ashamed. Was he being too forceful? Cruel? Was he forever cruel? He didn’t want to be dark, he realized. He didn’t.

“Hey, at least he didn’t read my mind,” Zaira said sweetly.

Rey choked, and Kylo gulped.

“I’m joking.” She had no idea why she was alleviating Kylo Ren’s discomfort, but she was anyway. Maybe she could be a good person. To atone for what she’d done to Hux. Tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Oh no,” Ben gasped. “Here – uh – here!” He offered her his sleeve.

“I’m fine,” Zaira said quickly, wiping her eyes. “Damn these emotions.”

Rey patted Ben’s arm. “Kind of you, though.”

Ben’s mind whirled. Something about Rey made him want to try more, to be better.

“I’ll leave you two.” Zaira slipped away.

 

“Oh, the Codex, that explains everything.” Leia tapped her foot on the stone floor.

Chewie stood a few paces behind Luke, seriously contemplating ripping off one of Skywalker’s arms. If Han would have approved, he might have done it.

“It does,” Luke pled.

“Not your cowardice! Not your secrets, keeping _my_ _child_ in danger!”

“Your child had already fallen,” Luke cried.

“There is Light in him!” Leia growled.

Luke grabbed her hands. “I know! I know; I never meant to imply otherwise. But he was already in danger, always, from the moment we brought him here.”

“He was already in danger from the day I bore him,” Leia corrected. “Snoke was always watching him, manipulating him – he was just a child, Luke, and _that monster groomed him_.”

Her voice broke. “I didn’t save him.”

Chewie grunted.

“I don’t know if Ben took it. I just can’t feel it,” Luke stammered.

“I can.” Leia took a deep breath. “And he has not gone to the dark side – no more than normal for him.”

Yet normal for him had murdered Han. She shivered.

R2 beeped his furious agreement.

“Oh, you can reveal something,” Leia said sarcastically.

“There’s no need to talk to R2 like that,” blustered C-3PO.

“Enough bickering. Then what has happened, droid, to the most you can reveal?” Ackbar asked.

“We’re Skywalkers. We bicker,” Luke cut in.

Leia had to laugh despite her pain.

R2-D2 bleeped.

“An important mission? We shouldn’t look for them?” 3PO raised his voice. “Goodness gracious me, how impractical!”

“Is it true?” Lando Calrissian burst into the room. He wiped his forehead. “Ben’s gone?”

He remembered betraying his friends, his family, and then betraying the Empire to gain them back. He needed Ben to repeat this story – Ben, his son in all but blood.

“R2 says they took him on an important mission,” Leia said, nostrils flaring.

“But he can’t say where,” 3PO added.

“I see.” Lando crossed his arms.

“They took a powerful Force relic,” Luke said.

“Ever heard of the Codex?” asked Leia.

“No.” Lando shook his head. “And I’ve heard of most valuables in the galaxy.”

“It amplifies the Force, to dangerous levels. If Snoke finds them before us – ” Luke didn’t need to finish.

Lando snapped his fingers, useful at last. “Tell you what! Maz Kanata’s got the largest reach in the galaxy. Someone’s bound to hear something. I can contact her.”

“The pirate?” demanded Leia.

“The one and only Maz.” Lando grinned.

Leia sighed. “No doubt someone will feel the Codex somewhere, if it’s as strong as you say, Luke.” Now that she thought about it, she did feel something missing, but she didn’t feel like admitting so to Luke just yet.

“It is,” Luke said softly.

“I don’t know whether to be frightened or hopeful,” Leia replied.

“I’m both,” said Luke.

 _I’m also angry_ , added Chewie with a groan.

 _You should all just be hopeful_ , R2 insisted with a few additional beeps.

“R2, you’re about as annoying as 3PO,” grumbled Leia, even as hope spread through her mother’s soul.

 

“So you just let a gluttonous king run the First Order off a planet?” rumbled Snoke.

Hux fought to maintain composure. This was proving more difficult than anticipated. “Supreme Leader, we were outnumbered and losing stormtroopers.”

“They’re made to be lost!”

Hux swallowed. “Yes, but chances were our small squad could not take on an entire planet. We all might have perished.”

Why hadn’t he considered the stormtroopers replaceable? He wasn’t sentimental, not anymore. She’d poisoned his mind, hadn’t she?

Snoke’s growl jerked the general back to the present. “We have lost our weapon, our second-in-command, and now another base. Is there anything you haven’t lost?”

“The stormtrooper program continues,” Hux declared. “My leadership, under your gracious command, has made our soldiers the finest in the galaxy. The Republic has been voided, and while the Resistance lingers, it will fall like the curse it is. We are the larger, stronger unit.”

“Hmmm.” Snoke drummed his fingers on his throne. “I see. Unfortunately for you, there’s another oversight on your part.”

Hux’s heart hammered. “Supreme Leader?”

“I’d like you to bring me a Lieutenant Zaira Dax.”

Hux wiped his sweating hands on his uniform. This moon was warm, humid, and terrible. “That would be impossible.”

“Did she fall during battle?”

“No.” Hux took a step forward. “She was wounded and escaped in the melee. I am assuming you ask since you’ve learned of her betrayal.”

“Indeed. A woman high in command _, personally chosen by you_ to train your cadets, turns out to be a traitor.”

“I was manipulated by her wiles. I take full responsibility, Supreme Leader.” Hux hesitated. “However, she did prove an effective teacher.”

“So it seemed!”

“I’ll have all of them sent to reconditioning,” Hux said. “To be safe.”

“Not good enough.”

“Supreme Leader?”

Snoke waved a hand. Behind him, a short, balding man strode up.

Hux scowled. The man was positively preening before the Supreme Leader, a show of bravado solely to mask his cowardice. And Snoke wanted a general to listen to this buffoon?

“Zaira Dax was Zaira Fett, trained from birth to spy for the Resistance,” said the man.

“How do you know this?” Hux asked warily. He didn’t want to hear any of it.

“I was her trainer. Jango Fett.” Jango was not impressed by this stonehearted, prim officer before him. Far too young, too anxious. How could Zaira have abandoned her principles for the likes of him?

“Are you no longer a spy?” Hux’s voice dripped with disdain.

“Why else would I have turned in my own daughter?”

 _Cowardice?_ Hux bit his tongue. “Very well. I’m pleased you’ve seen the light and received the blessings of the Supreme Leader. My apologies that your daughter has fled.”

            Jango noted the younger man’s disgust. Whatever his feelings, he was still attracted to his daughter’s body.

“It’s a greater disservice to the First Order,” parroted Jango. After all, the General functioned by flattering Snoke. He ought to do the same.

“Making an example of her would entice loyalty from even the most questionable officers,” Snoke agreed, speaking at last.

“Yes, but unfortunately, she is not here,” Hux said.

“Perhaps you should try to find a remedy for this egregious oversight,” Snoke said, menacing what he left unsaid.

“I will right this!” Hux insisted. “The stormtroopers will be retrained, I will send out spies for – Fett – and we will win this fight, Supreme Leader!”

“I hope you can carry out your wishes half as well as you speak of them, General.” Snoke leaned forward, his gigantic eyes searching Hux’s soul. “Dismissed.”

Hux nodded and, with a stately bow towards Jango, marched out of the room.

Once back in his quarters, his mind spun.

He would have to send spies after her. He didn’t care about her, he told himself, just his child. But why did he care? The poor creature had no hope. What sort of mother would Zaira make, anyway?

“How did it go?” demanded Phasma. Even with the light reflecting off her chrome armor, he hadn’t noticed her until now. She had broken into his room, just like Zaira.

“I’m doomed.”

His career, his esteem, his soul – all shattered.

He’d emphasized with the stormtroopers. Phasma would hate him, too.

Hux grabbed his temples as his heart accelerated.   
“General?” Phasma asked in alarm.

“I’ve doomed everyone, even myself!” he hissed. “I’ve failed!”

Now, for the first time ever, he understood why Kylo Ren had wrecked his ship. And why he had stabbed himself.

 

“Do you miss him?” Rey approached Zaira. The purple-haired girl had her arms wrapped around her stomach and a wistful expression on her face. The night sky twinkled above the makeshift beds Maz had thrown together pell-mell.

Zaira smiled sadly. “Yes.”

“What was he like? Dashing, brave?” Poe struck a pose.

“Like you?” Ben asked dryly.

“He is,” Finn said.

“Oooh,” teased Zaira, relieved at a distraction.

“What?” Poe asked, suddenly straight-faced.

“You’re in love.” Ben rolled his eyes. “Don’t think I didn’t see what gender you were attracted to even when I read your mind.”

“That was private information!” exclaimed Poe. He squirmed, remembering how the children on Yavin 4 would mock him for kissing his best friend, how he came home crying and his mother hugged him while his father took a walk to absorb the news.

“I was a mite too busy torturing you to care?” Ben gulped, suddenly afraid. “Sorry. I shouldn’t joke about that.”

Poe snickered, eager to forget the past. “I’m glad you do. For me, at least.”

“I’m glad you two are friends…” Zaira said, astonished and rather confused. She’d assumed most of them were merely tolerating Kylo per the ghost Vader’s request.

“It’s a little weird,” Finn admitted. “I guess … I just know what it’s like to feel different, to have so many expectations on you that you break. To be scared. And so we became friends.”

“I suppose I know what that is like, too,” Zaira confided.

“What scares you?” Rey leaned forward. “I wouldn’t press, but we ought to trust each other, especially with the Codex. We’ll all need each other – that means we’ll need you, too, Ben.”

“He can’t get used to his name,” Zaira observed, watching Kylo Ren’s face. A young, impressionable face. He looked more like a stormtrooper than a rampaging Sith Lord. “All this time we on the _Finalizer_ were petrified of you, and you’re just a kid.”

“I’m almost thirty,” Ben said, determined to expose his sins.

“You’re still a boy,” Zaira replied.

“What scares you?” he challenged.

“General Hux.”

“Finding you? He’ll probably go easier on you than me, and he’ll have to get through me first,” Finn offered.

“You barely know me.” Zaira winced.

“It’s the right thing to do,” Finn declared. Behind him, Poe laughed and clapped Finn on the back.

“I’m trying to do the right thing now,” he explained. “And that involves facing the First Order.”

“You know, you’re everything I hoped my trainees would become,” Zaira said. “Even though now they never will.”

Finn’s eyes widened. “Were you trying to help them?”

Zaira sighed. “I suppose so. Really, I wanted them to think for themselves. I taught them spontaneity, mostly, and once dancing under seven moons.” A dreamy expression descended over her face. “Even General Hux and Phasma joined in. You would have liked it, Kylo or Ben or whoever you are. It was ridiculous.”

Kylo choked. “I can’t picture that, but I’ll enjoy trying. Just for Hux’s face.”

“Their dislike for each other is legendary,” Finn said for Rey and Poe. “Although I’m surprised Phasma is alive.”

“I saved her,” Zaira confessed.

Rey reached over to grab his hand, sensing the darkness. “What’s wrong?”

“I lost my mind for twenty-three years,” he managed. “I’m not sure I forgive her. Regaining my mind is painful. _Impossibly painful, and sometimes I think I’m going to break_.”

“It’s acceptable to break.” Poe knelt by Finn. “We’re here to hold you together.”

“Hell, even I will.” Zaira pointed at herself. “And I’m a spy pregnant with your enemy’s child.”

“Phasma’s?”

Zaira gaped at Kylo. “You piece of junk.”

“I try.”

“You succeed,” she shot back.

Rey smirked. “It’s nice to see him joke, isn’t it?”

Ben flushed. “Uh…”

“Don’t say you’re not feeling hopeful.” Rey made a face.

“For the record, I don’t blame you,” Finn said to Ben. “I blame Hux and Phasma, but not you. Or you, for saving her.” He looked at Zaira.

“We were actually friends.” Zaira glanced at the stars. “I wonder if it’s possible she’ll let the lessons I taught the cadets stay.” 3131 and Hundred needed space to love each other, after all.

“You really care about them.” Ben hesitated, his hand grasping for Rey. She’d taught him to fly, and maybe he wanted to be good for her.

How many times had he thought the stormtroopers replaceable?

“Yes.” Zaira clenched her fists. “If I could, I would go back for every last one of them. It’s better our here in the scary, open world, isn’t it, Finn? No!” She pounded her bed. “I want to save the others. I need to, even if I can’t.”

“We have the most powerful object in the galaxy,” Ben said softly.

“You don’t understand. I’m fairly recognizable.” Zaira pointed towards her hair, her independence, her lie. “And I –”

“What?” Rey asked after a moment.

BB-8 rolled up to Zaira, who laughed through the lump in her throat. “He certainly knows when to comfort, doesn’t he?”

BB-8 held out a flame thumbs-up, and Rey giggled.

How could she say that she would stay away just so Hux wouldn’t have to live with killing her? She couldn’t damn him to that.

“I’m tired,” she said instead.

 

_“Fire,” Hux ordered. The Starkiller shot through the sky, towards D’Qar._

_“You know she’s going to be there,” Phasma said from behind._

_“Collateral damage,” sniffed Jango, now promoted to Captain._

_Then he was watching Zaira as she stopped and stared at the red light swallowing the sky. He felt her terror. The unfairness of being vanquished, like she’d never existed._ And he was screaming himself awake.

“Ridiculous,” he snapped to himself as he yanked on his coat.

But how many people had seen that very sight, felt the very terror he’d felt in his dream?

“It was a dream; they weren’t like that,” he growled. Likely they’d all realized their guilt had damned them.

 _Except the children_. _Like your child._

Hux smacked the side of his head to stop his thoughts. He stumbled out of his chambers.

“To Phasma, to Phasma,” he whispered, walking faster to outpace the fear and the stormtrooper patrols now staring at him.

“General.” She was already awake, on her own patrol as per usual.

“The stormtroopers have to go to recondition,” he rasped.

“All?”

“The ones she infected.” He didn’t want to command it. He didn’t want to erase her, not in his dreams, not in their minds.

“Yes, sir,’ Phasma said.

General Hux wanted to punch in her chrome face and scream at her to challenge him. Instead, he spun around and stormed away.

The unsettling terror followed.

            Phasma heaved a sigh. Undoubtedly, her stormtroopers’ loyalties must be to the First Order. She couldn’t bear to repeat FN-2187. Or Zaira.

            But she hated suspecting them when they’d done nothing wrong. She hated the idea of indoctrinating them until they unlearned their spontaneity, their survival skills. She truly believed her troopers were stronger for Zaira Fett, even if her heart wasn’t.

            When Captain Phasma, the woman who wore the metal of the Galactic Empire, approached the affected squads, she knew what she would say. And damn her.

Damn Zaira.

            “You’re all to report to reconditioning.”

“Why?” RT-3131 burst out.

“Were you granted permission to speak?”

RT-3100 moved closer to RT-3131 as the cadet hung her head. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve each been exposed, potentially, to the traitor Dax’s influence. So, to prove yourself, you’ll report to reconditioning on orders of General Hux.” She paused. “Yet you will prove your loyalty by merely humoring them. You will not truly listen to a single word.”

 

Loneliness was an island, in the middle of the ocean. A desert swarming with sandpeople.

“No,” moaned Rey.

Ben jerked awake, images of Acht-To and Jakku dancing before him – no, not Jakku. Jakku didn’t have Tusken Raiders.

 _Tatooine_. Ben glanced towards Rey, who was tossing and turning in the midst of a desolate dream. The Codex, wrapped in tattered fabric, lay by her head.

Her instincts still sharp, Zaira jerked awake to see Kylo Ren hovering over Rey. “What are you doing?”

Ben’s eyes swarm with hazy images. If she could keep dreaming – was she seeing Anakin or Luke’s past? But then a lightsaber like a red cross shot across her vision, and Rey was crying, whimpering in her sleep.

“Rey!” A horrified Ben grabbed her and shook her awake. “Stop, stop, you’re safe.”

Zaira scrambled forward. “Has this happened before?”

“No one’s slept with the Codex by their head before,” muttered Ben.

“But I’ve dreamt it before – you’ve seen it,” Rey accused. She smacked the tears off her cheeks.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Ben insisted. Then he realized he still clutched her shoulders. “Oh.”

Rey caught his hand as he removed them. “Thank you for waking me.”

“Of course,” he murmured.

“Is everything all right?” Zaira felt grateful for Finn awakening on the other side of Rey.

“It’s fine – just a dream,” Rey shot back.

Finn eyed Zaira, who shook her head slightly. Ben was surely unsettled about something.

Did he – was he leading the Order after them? Her fists clenched.

Zaira opened her mouth, but Finn spoke first. “Not from Ben’s expression.”

Ben opened his mouth, instinct insisting he still be called _Kylo Ren_. He half expected a furious Snoke to appear.

“Huh? What’s – what’s happening?” Poe stirred.

“I had a dream,” Rey said in exasperation.

“Of Tatooine,” said Ben.

“Really?” Poe frowned. “But you’ve never seen Tatooine.”

“I’ve never seen Acht-To, either, but I dreamt of it before I found Luke,” Rey said reluctantly.

“How do you know it’s Tatooine?” Zaira asked suspiciously. “Did you probe her mind?”

“No! It’s the – the weird connection we have with the Codex,” Ben said.

“What happened in the dream?” Zaira asked Rey with a gentle voice. To be sure, she did feel guilty for suspecting Ben.

“Nothing, just people and funny creatures running around over the dunes,” said Rey.

“That’s all you remember?” said Ben.

“Is there more?” She squinted at him.

Ben swallowed. He couldn’t have. “I think we should go to Tatooine.”

“Um, wouldn’t that be moving _away_ from the First Order?” queried Finn.

“We don’t have a chance if we go directly towards Snoke with that thing.” Ben pointed towards the Codex. “We need to unlock our full potentials in the Force, formulate a plan, _then_ destroy Snoke.”

Beep-eep-meep-ooo-ooop! BB-8 rolled up, with Maz following.

“So Ben Solo has returned,” the creature intoned.

Ben stared down at the bed. He just wanted to see what Rey knew. To give her back what had been stolen from her.

“Well, Tatooine’s as good a place as any. Since I imagine the Resistance is already on our trails,” said Poe brightly.

“Zaira, you must come with us,” Rey begged.

Wordless, Zaira nodded. If the First Order came down, where would Hux go? Yet it couldn’t remain as it was, cruel and ruthless under Snoke.

“I’ll be right with all you young folk,” added Maz.

“You will?” Finn blinked.

“I’ve been hiding from the Force most of my life, Finn Stormtrooper. It’s about time I ventured into the fray.”

 **P.S. The ever-amazing Aurora Lynne also drew Zaira in her green dress and First Order uniform! You can check it out at** **http://auroralynne.tumblr.com/image/142818405842** **t.** **J** **Have a lovely week!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux begins to suspect Jango of treachery and Phasma embarks on a mission to catch Zaira, while Ben reveals his past to Rey.

Chapter Fourteen

 

“I come from a family of spies, you see.” Jango leaned back in a chair. “My father captured Han Solo for the Hutts and General Leia for the Empire. My grandfather served as the basis for the clone army.”

“A noble heritage,” Hux said icily.

Jango smiled at him. “You pride yourself on your superior heritage, being the son of a cowardly commandant who fled when he should have fought.”

Hux’s eyes narrowed. “He saved the lives of many loyal Galactic servants. He helped establish a new life for them on a nearly desolate planet. So, pardon me if I don’t think a family of turncoats quite matches my father.”

“He never loved you, did he?” Jango blinked, barely concealing his relish. “My my, you have gone white with rage.”

“It’s called loyalty, you traitorous bastard,” spat Hux.

“Now, that’s uncouth. And here I thought _I_ was the brutish one.” Jango smiled again.

His boots were on the table. The _table_! Hux could hardly stand the sight.

“It’s been a month. Is there a reason for your continued presence?” _Or existence_?

“The wishes of our Supreme Leader.” Jango licked his lips. “Why are you here, General Hux?”

“The wishes of Supreme Leader Snoke,” Hux parroted.

Jango’s eyes glinted, and alarm exploded in Hux’s stomach.

“Of course, ever repeating what you were taught. What a good little soldier,” sang Jango.

Feigning control, Hux leaned closer. “Tell me, is that why you turned in your daughter – she wouldn’t do what she was taught?”

Jango froze, hatred flashing through his face. He had no desire to hide his feelings.

“She was no longer mine. Someone corrupted her,” he seethed.

“Besides you?” Hux smirked.

Jango leapt to his feet. “Our conversation is over.”

Hux stared after him, feeling like a lost child. He felt mean, like the bullies who used to taunt him in the academy. He felt like his father, the father he’d defended, the father he could never please.

He also felt certain there was another reason to Jango’s visit.

 

“One month,” complained Finn. “One month and we’ve come up with nothing! What are we even _doing_ here, anyways?”

“Developing a plan,” sniped Ben.

“We’ve developed nothing,” Zaira pointed out.

“Training, then.”

“You and Rey and Finn, maybe,” she tossed back. “But Poe and I?”

“And _don’t_ say the Codex brought us here; your interpretation did,” Finn added.

“Stop sniveling because you’re impatient, Finn.” Maz strode in, and Rey with her. “And you, Zaira, shouldn’t you know better than to rush?”

Zaira was hot and tired and pregnant. So, no, she didn’t quite feel like she _did_ know better, but she at least had enough wits about her not to say it.

They’d been journeying around Tatooine, visiting Luke’s decrepit old moisture farm – which had been transformed into a holy temple – a cantina boasting that it’d been a popular stop of Han Solo – at which Ben had pretended not to cry – and a memorial to Jabba the Hutt – which Ben and Poe had promptly transformed into a memorial for Princess Leia’s bravery using Rey’s lightsaber. But they’d spent the most time hunting down Obi-Wan Kenobi’s old dwelling with little luck.

“He’s not telling us something,” Zaira argued. “Why do we absolutely _need_ to find Kenobi’s old hiding place?”

“I feel like we should,” said Rey softly.

“We’re tourists,” Zaira said. “I don’t see how this is helping us.”

“I do,” said Maz. “Do you trust me?”

Zaira hesitated. “Yes.”

“No, you don’t, child. You don’t trust any authority,” Maz said.

Zaira flushed.

“And neither do you, Finn.”

Finn stared at the floor. “I spent 23 years of my life being lied to. How can I just start believing what people say?”

Rey hurried over to put a hand on his shoulder. A sharp glance at Ben inspired the last Skywalker to follow suit, albeit awkwardly.

“We’ll help you,” Rey promised. “Just please, trust us. You told me I was the first person to see you as human – trust me.”

“Hey, no, that was me! What kind of pick-up line were you weaving, Finn?” cried Poe as he burst through the door, BB-8 right behind him

Finn gaped at his lover. “You needed an escape, though, and she didn’t.”

Poe chuckled. “I’m just teasing you, buddy. But, hey, uh – I think I found someone who knows what we’re looking for.”

A sandperson scuttled in and glared at them solemnly.

“He’s going to guide us,” Poe said brightly.

“To death?” Rey’s hand was on her lightsaber.

“You know, not all Tusken Raiders believe their traditions. And they prefer the term ‘Tusken Raider,’ which might be important if they’re going to be helping us.” Poe crossed his arms. “Are you coming or not?”

“We’re coming,” Maz said.

“Excellent.” Poe felt nervous. His mouth had catalyzed many relationship implosions before. He smiled hopefully at Finn. “I was just teasing you, I promise. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so sorry, buddy.”

“I know. Don’t be so nervous, _buddy_.” Finn shoved Poe playfully. “Nice that we’re exploring a desert together at last, right?”

“Guess I’ll have to change our honeymoon plans,” Poe said as everyone froze. “What?”

 

“Phasma.” Hux swept into the captain’s quarters.

“General?” She looked up in surprise.

“I suspect Jango Fett of high treason.”

He was not expecting Phasma’s exasperated sigh. “You don’t believe me?”

“Have you any evidence?”

“It doesn’t make sense for him to train his daughter and then abandon her. Something more’s going on. Likely they’re both working together,” Hux fumed.

“I think you’re still emotional over Zaira Fett and tormented by a lack of sleep.”

“I rarely slept before, thank you very much.”

“Yes, but for other reasons,” Phasma said sarcastically.

Hux turned beet red. “Captain!”

“Yes?”

“I have good instincts. How else did I get this position?” Half of Hux had always believed the answer was his heritage. He couldn’t simply be good enough. “Something is not right about him.”

“What do you need, sir?”

“I need all records of him. And timelines. And an ear into his private sessions with Snoke, though I doubt that’s possible.”

“Or within my jurisdiction,” said Phasma dryly. “Jealous?”

Hux bristled. “How dare you.”

“You sent my best troops to reconditioning,” Phasma pointed out.

Hux shook his head. “I did not! Snoke ordered it.”

“It’s never your fault, is it?”

“I’ve always taken responsibility,” cried Hux. From the time he was three and he’d lied that he was responsible for stealing his mother’s jewelry, when the culprit was truly his one friend on Coruscant. His father discerned the lie and beat the lies out of him. “There, I admit it: I was jealous of Kylo Ren! But Jango? That cretin? Never.”

Phasma cocked her head. “I’ll see what I can find on Jango Fett. You might also ask Mitaka; he’s easy to manipulate. But if you ask me, General, you need to let go.”

A lump caught in Hux’s throat. How could he, when he dreamt of her nearly every night, and when he didn’t he dreamt of Hosnian Prime?

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m fine,” Hux said shakily. “Just get me the information stat.”

 

 

 

Rey wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but a small sandstone hut at the bottom of a ravine wasn’t the destination she had in mind.

That being said, she also hadn’t had a month of wandering and wonder in mind, or fear at Ben’s sudden distance.

But as soon as she stepped into the hut, a sick feeling overtook her. “Oh!”

Zaira grabbed Rey’s arm to keep her from falling. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing – nothing.” Rey felt emotional as she surveyed the unmarked house, filled with thirty years of dust and lost memories. “It’s just a shame that Obi-Wan lived here for so long and no one cared to remember him.”

The Tusken Raider let out an angry storm of words.

“He says the Tuskens did,” Poe translated.

“So I gathered,” Rey said dryly.

The Raider’s voice became more high-pitched.

“They remember even more,” Ben said slowly.

Zaira felt his discomfort so strongly her stomach turned. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Let’s follow him.” Ben gestured at the Raider, who was already tottering out, up the ridge.

Maz’s meaningful glance to Ben said everything to Zaira.

Over the ravine were at least a dozen huts. Damaged from the sandstorms, long abandoned. Some had collapsed in on themselves.

A crack startled the still air; BB-8 squeaked and rolled back. Poe bent down and examined the unsettled sand.

The Raider bent forward and dug. Less than a foot down rested a dagger, with a few brown streaks not yet worn away.

Zaira’s eyes flew to several dozen sand lumps not ten feet beyond the empty village.

“Everyone died,” she said quietly, almost reverentially, toward the graves.

The Raider nodded at her tone.

Goosebumps crept down Rey’s arms.

Ben sank to his knees. “I killed them.”

“Sorry, what?” Poe was stunned.

Finn took a step forward. Odd how in these little moments, his stormtrooper training – eliminate the threat! – overrode his emotions.

Rey knew. She felt like she’d always known. “The full story?”

Ben knew she knew. He gazed up at her, dusty face streaked with tears. “You must have been four.”

Rey caught her breath. Her hand covered her mouth as she choked back a sob. “My family.”

“We were teenagers. Snoke called us the Knights of Ren, made me their Master. We were all friends, all force-sensitive. And I thought we were doing good,” Ben gasped.

“By killing?” Finn exclaimed.

“No! We were looking for something that contained the entire power of the Force. Snoke told me about it,” Ben cried. He nodded towards the Codex in Rey’s hands.

“The villagers – the clan – were direct descendants of the Jedi before the Sith began. The people who created the Codex,” Maz explained. “That’s why you’re so strong, child.”

Rey shook her head. Betrayal was more agonizing than loneliness. “ _Why did you kill my family_?”

_Because the clan had caught them sneaking into a home. And because hothead Tyro Ren had brandished a lightsaber, and even though Dasten Ren had cried out “No!” it hadn’t been soon enough._

_And then Tyro was on the ground with his throat slashed, and he was already dead, and Kylo hadn’t had a chance to save him._

_Then he was screaming and drawing out the Lightsaber he’d made for himself just a week before, and because he was their leader, the other seven Knights followed suit._

_The clan leader fell dead, and the entire village, it seemed, came upon them._

_When it was over, he was the only soul in sight._

“You slaughtered them all?” Poe was aghast.

Zaira wasn’t surprised, not at all. What moved her was her pity. Hux had slaughtered so many more than the weeping man before them. They were still capable of good, and suddenly she knew she would give her life for them if she could.

“Luke found me,” whimpered Kylo.

_“I want to die,” he’d told Luke. “I’m just like Darth Sidious, aren’t I? I’m a murderer.”_

Get up and stop crying _, snarled Snoke’s voice in his ear._

Where were you? Why didn’t you stop me? _Kylo thought furiously._

Where was I? I’ve been here your entire life, more than your family, and you ask _where was I?_

_Luke fought for control, keeping his face blank. “I won’t let you go. I’ll help you. We can make this right.”_

_“No, you can’t – I murdered them!” Kylo screamed._

Stop blaming your uncle for your actions _, Snoke growled._

_“I want to die.”_

Fine, betray me. Murder me too _._

_Luke shook his head. “Even a murderer can come back.”_

_So he was gone. Kylo doubled over. And he knew he would obey Luke no matter what._

“Then Luke sent me home, and stayed behind – he must have found you then. And put you on Jakku, another desert planet. He also encouraged my mother to send me away to him, so he could school us in his new academy.”

“And he took my memories and left me in the hands of Unkur Plutt!” Rey exploded. She’d met the myth years ago, and he’d stolen from her, stolen more than Ben Solo ever could.

“I’m sorry,” wailed Ben. “I’m so sorry.”

“Did Snoke also tell you that you were repeating Anakin’s actions?” Maz inquired.

Ben hiccupped. “You know?”

The Raider burst into speech.

Maz gestured at the Raider. “They all know. They never forgot, and neither did the galaxy. Not Anakin, not you.”

“Good. They shouldn’t forget,” said Ben. He stared at the sand, sand that fifteen years ago had been stained with blood. And stained he still was.

He’d thought he could hide, then he thought he was destined to finish Anakin’s work. And he never could.

Rey was sobbing gently. With shaking hands, she stepped towards Ben. Her palms landed on his shoulders.

“I forgive you,” she gasped.

She sank down and sobbed alongside Ben Solo.

“You were the Chief’s daughter,” said an unfamiliar voice.

But Rey recognized it. She’d heard it once before, when Maz’s lightsaber had called to her.

A translucent, bearded man smiled down at her.

“Obi-Wan.”

 

Hux poured over the files on the Fett family. All married young, all died young – except for Jango the Second, apparently.

 _The clone army_. Hux bristled. His father despised the clones as a military device. No more creative than a regular human, numbers were their only advantage. They aged too quickly to be any real use.

The son, Boba, dead at the hands of Princess Leia, Han Solo, and Luke Skywalker. Really, Hux should have seen that coming.

What he hadn’t seen coming was that Boba was actually Jango the First’s clone, not a son.

So Zaira was descended from a clone. He should have found that repulsive, but if she hadn’t been a traitor he was sure he’d find it intriguing, possibly attractive.

“General Hux.” Phasma marched in.

“Yes, by all means, don’t knock,” Hux grumbled.

“It’s urgent, sir.”

Hux’s head snapped up. “What?”

“Zaira has been spotted on Tatooine – with the scavenger, FN-2187, and Kylo Ren.”

Hux’s mouth hung open.

“It appears Kylo Ren is now working for the Resistance,” added Phasma.

“Naturally,” snarled Hux. “It just figures!”

“Snoke has ordered me to confront them with a squadron. I thought you should know.”

Hux felt like vomiting. “I should have been alerted to this!”

“We all know what you’re more upset about.”

“How could she do this? I gave her her life!” Hux wiped his brow. “And now – now she’s good as dead!”

“They might escape,” Phasma said in a low voice.

Hux stared. “That’s treason, Captain.”

“We’re already traitors,” Phasma said wearily.

“How?” Hux flinched. “Don’t look at me like that! I made a judgment, one act of mercy!”

“As did I.” Phasma shrugged mysteriously.

“What will you do?” Hux was torn. To be loyal, to earn back Snoke’s favor, to earn it as never before! Snoke was like his father; he could always be plied with enough supplications.

Yet, to satisfy his own sentiment…

_I’m so unfit._

“I don’t know yet. But I deploy in ten minutes.” She turned around to face the door. “I’ve assigned Lieutenant Mitaka to recover the rest of your files.”

 

“I can’t take this anymore. Not a trace in the whole galaxy? What did they do, exit the universe?” Leia growled.

Not to mention that the First Order had carried out no moves in weeks. Life was boring. War was boring.

Lando strode in. “Rumor has it Maz hasn’t been on Takodana for over a month.”

“Did she say where she was going?” Luke asked.

“Not a word, and no one knows where she is.” Lando leaned against the door.

So Maz was missing. Zaira was missing. Ben and Rey were missing, along with her best pilot and Finn. Leia felt in her bones this was not a coincidence.

“Well, I’ve had it waiting around. I waited around for six years while Ben was in Snoke’s clutches. Then I sent Han after him.” Leia’s voice broke. She pounded into the other. “I should have gone myself.”

“No, then you might be dead,” Luke said hurriedly.

“Not helpful,” replied Lando.

“Well, Luke, now’s your chance for redemption. I’m heading after them, and you can join. Ackbar can be in charge while I’m gone. I trust him.” Leia squared her shoulders.

“Heading where?” Luke shook his head. “Leia, we just don’t know where they are!”

“I’m aware of that,” Leia said hotly. “First stop _will_ be Jakku. Maybe Rey needed something there. Then Takodana, just to be certain.”

“Takodana’s on the way to Jakku.”

“Then Takodana first, Luke.” Leia scowled. “You’re afraid, aren’t you?”

Luke hesitated. He’s been a coward far too long. He didn’t remember what true bravery looked like, other than dusty memories of pleading with a dark Sith in a breathing mask.

“Good,” Leia shouted at his silence. “Because at least that means you care.”

C-3PO tottled in, with R2-D2 right on his heels. “Dear me, General, word has it there’s a First Order ship heading for Tatooine.”

“Tatooine, you say?” breathed Luke.

Leia met her brother’s eyes. “I think we have a different first stop to make.”

She strode out. “Nien Nunb, prepare the fleet!”

A Wookie groaned.

“Chewie,” she called across the grass. “Prepare the Falcon?”

Chewie roared.

 

“You’re here,” Ben breathed. His namesake. He felt so ashamed.

“I’ve never not been.” Obi-Wan smiled at him, then at Rey. “I met your grandmother taking shelter at the hut on your right, during a great sandstorm.”

“My – grandmother?” Rey stammered. Her palms felt more sweaty than normal for the heat.

“Her name was Peya. Your mother was Edel, your father Dar.”

“Where are they?” Rey’s voice shook.

Obi-Wan waved a hand around him. “All around you.”

Three people – a broad-chested man and a small, ruddy woman, and a lanky, blonde woman by Obi-Wan’s side.

“Hi,” squeaked Finn. Poe beamed at the ghosts.

Maz looked peaceful; Zaira, terrified. Ghosts were too real – she was seeing the Force as a real thing, as something that could affect even her, and she was terrified.

“My family.” Rey reached out a hand, only to have it pass through the ghosts. “Oh!”

“You can still feel us in your heart,” Peya said, wrapping an arm around Obi-Wan.

“She looks so much like you,” Edel said to Dar, who was too overcome with emotion to talk – until, that is, he noticed Ben.

“I’m sorry,” he said then. “For that day. But now you know: the Force is a precious and dangerous tool.”

Ben scrambled to his feet. “I ended your village, and so many more. Every time I did, I thought I was maybe, this time, excusing what I did to you.” He was babbling; to Rey or her father, he didn’t know.

“Well, now you can learn,” suggested Dar.

“You’d better,” Peya said, eyeing Rey.

A rumble shook the ground. The Tuscan Raider shrieked and fled as Zaira jerked her head towards the sky.

“That would be the First Order?” remarked Obi-Wan as a ship came into sight.

“They’re here for one of us,” Ben said to Zaira.

Had Hux already changed his mind? _Please, no_. Zaira swallowed. “Then we won’t let them catch us.”

“They have wonderful timing, don’t they?” Obi-Wan tilted his head. “By that I mean, your Codex is tantalizingly close. We might feel a bit more powerful than normal. Just powerful enough for a sandstorm to mysteriously arise.”

“Get to your ship,” Peya urged them. Dar was already using his eyes to lift sand in the distance.

Finn grabbed Rey and began pulling her after Maz and Poe.

“I love you!” Edel cried out suddenly, just before they disappeared over the ridge.

The village exploded behind them.

No one spoke, even as Poe switched to hyperspace and took them far from Tatooine.

“So, uh, guys, where are we going?” he finally asked.

“Somewhere to formulate a plan?” Zaira suggested.

“They need time.” Finn pointed to Rey and Ben. He felt lost, unable to comfort them, the one person who still didn’t know his family.

“No, I need to act. To make a plan,” Rey said fiercely.

“I’m s-sorry,” Ben said.

“You didn’t have to show me. I’m glad you did.”

“Rey, I took so much from you.” Ben looked at her with red-rimmed eyes.

“But you’re so much more than a thief,” Rey said, throwing her arms around him.

Zaira wrapped her arms around her stomach to soothe herself. Hux might hate her, but at least a part of him was in her.

There really weren’t many places where they could hide from both the First Order and the Resistance. Except – oh no.

“Not to break up the sexual tension, but I do have an idea,” she said.

BB-8 beeped in horror.

“What would you call it?” she challenged the droid.

BB-8 looked between Poe and Finn.

“Tension…” began Finn.

“…of a sexual nature…” finished Poe.

“Please tell me you’re teasing,” said Ben.

“Child, even I’ve noticed,” Maz said.

“What?” shrieked Rey. He’d killed her parents – oh, but life was so much more complex than that. “How did we get from ideas to this?”

Zaira leaned forward. “My bad. Anyhow, Poe, I was thinking, if we need to hide from the First Order and a certain Resistance, there might be only one place we can go.”

“Where’s that?” asked Finn.

“You won’t like it. None of you will, but I assure you I hate it most of all.”

“Where’s that?” repeated Rey.

Zaira met Maz’s eyes. “Anyone ever heard of King Prana?”

 

Sleep. Sleep was for the weak, Hux told himself, as he finished combing through the meager files. Mitaka hadn’t contacted him, so he supposed he could read what he had over again.

Something was off with Jango, more than his status as scum.

Hux, well, he felt it. Intuition was something he’d never listened to before Zaira, but a few months with her had convinced him of its value. Even if she was a liar and soon to be dead – that wasn’t why he was awake, mind you – he would keep whatever lessons he’d learned.

 _Perhaps I should be sent to reconditioning_.

Hux choked back a laugh as a sharp knock rang out from his door.

His heart pounded. Zaira was dead, wasn’t she? “Yes?”

“Colonel Datoo, sir.”

Hux whipped open the door. Everyone knew Datoo typically slept more than most citizens.

“What?”

“Sir! Dopheld Mitaka has been arrested and charged with treason for trespassing into private archives!”

 

**I estimate there will be about 20 chapters total in this story, so things may be far closer to concluding than they appear. ;)**


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zaire's secret is revealed, Hux investigates Mitaka's arrest, and a combative Phasma encounters a combative Leia.

Chapter Fifteen

 

“Decided you made a wrong choice, have you?”

Truthfully, Prana was actually quite happy to see Maz Kanata, because he hated sour business deals, and Zaira, because he wasn’t quite a monster. But he wasn’t about to show it.

“Not hardly,” Zaira replied. Last time she had been with Hux and she had been happy, almost, and she missed last time. She felt her stomach. Last time was when they’d made the child growing inside her.

Behind her, Ben shot a quizzical look to Rey. _This_ was the infamous King Prana?

“Oh? I don’t see a First Order signal on your arm anymore, do I? What exactly are you doing here? What if I required an apology?” Prana grew excited by the idea.

“Sir – your highness,” – Poe tasted bile at using the same title as General Leia – “we need your protection.”

“And we know you’re in no position to defy us,” Maz said sweetly.

“Say I flip-flopped back to the Order?” Prana crossed his arms.

Maz sighed. “You only play a fool, Prana.”

“You know me so well, Maz. Always have!” Prana leapt down from his throne. “My protection you shall have. Now, who are your friends? Oh, this is Ben Solo, is it not?” He gasped and lowered his voice. “Or is it now Kylo Ren?”

Everything in him wanted to answer, but he couldn’t. Not to this man.

“It’s Ben,” Rey said, sensing his distress.

“And you must be the little Jedi girl who’s got the whole galaxy talking.”

“Don’t patronize her,” Finn said.

Prana gasped. “The stormtrooper!”

“Former stormtrooper, actually.” Finn squirmed. “And this is Poe Dameron.”

“Marvelous.” Prana turned back to Ben. “Your father was about to meet me before his death – how tragic!”

Beads of sweat shone on Ben’s brow. He knew Prana was testing him, looking for weakness he wouldn’t reveal.

“So you do love him,” breathed Prana, fluttering his fingers. “No other reason to be so stoic.”

Zaira had grown frustrated with his mockery. She now knew why Hux had hated him so fervently. “Where should we stay while on your planet, sir?”

“Hmph. Now, let me think … ” Prana tapped his fingers against his chin. “I’ve got it: if you still remember, why don’t you and Maz and the Jedi girl stay where you slept last? Your actual room, that is, not the room you shared with that loathsome General.”

Finn choked.

“What?” Rey sucked in a breath.

“Oh me, oh my, did I say something wrong?” Prana pressed a hand over his mouth.

Zaira’s anger flared, but she made care to keep every word deliberate. “You knew exactly what you just said and you enjoyed saying it – and the response you got.”

“That seems harsh.” Prana pouted. He’d just been excited to break the possible news.

“I’m a spy and I know how to notice things like tone, posture, eyes, lips trying not to smirk.”

“Wait, what?” Finn asked. “Can everyone just stop for a moment? Did I hear that wrong?”

“I’m sure we did,” exclaimed Ben. “This General Hux I know would never risk –”

“Risk what? Love? You don’t think he’s capable of that?” demanded Zaira.

“Sweet Force. Are you forgetting the Starkiller? That was _his_ idea.”

“Didn’t notice you stopping them.”

Ben gulped. “I didn’t, and I should have.”

“But is he even sorry?” Finn asked.

“I don’t know,” Zaira said icily.

“Wait, I can’t – just – w-what?” Ben gasped, too shocked to notice her growing ire. “ _General Hux_?”

His eyes flew to her stomach. “Him? Hux? Hux the General? He –”

He wasn’t sure if the thought of Hux getting anyone pregnant was unbearable due to hilarity or horror.

“ _Sweet Force, General Hux_! It defies my senses.”

“Your senses aren’t too sharp,” Rey told Ben as she used her stick to knock his legs out from under him.

 

“Nothing,” Phasma said in disgust, kicking a block of sandstone across the ruined village.

“Not even the people who helped them,” agreed LR-8345.

Phasma wasn’t sure whether to feel relief or regret. Her mission had failed the First Order. Yet her former friend remained alive. Hux, at least, might stop his paranoia for a bit.

“Hold up right there!” An older, dark-skinned man appeared across a dune of sand opposite the ridge.

“Who are you?” Phasma gripped her blaster – only to have it fly out of her arm. In fact, all of the troopers’ blasters were flying back towards the ridge.

She spun around to see a bearded Jedi holding out a palm, with about thirty men, women, and creatures all gripping their newly acquired blasters.

“We’re the Resistance,” said General Leia.

 

“What?” Zaira demanded at Rey the moment Maz shut the door to their room.

“I wasn’t even looking at you!” Rey said.

“You’re not very comfortable with the truth, are you?”

Zaira glowered at Maz. “No. Unless I’m lying about that, too.”

“You’ll have a child to look out for soon. Stop behaving like one,” Maz said sharply.

Zaira felt her heart break again.

“I don’t think she ever had a childhood,” Rey said sympathetically. “So how would she know?”

Zaira blinked back tears. “I suppose you know exactly how that feels.”

“Besides the pregnancy part?” Rey stood and stretched out her arms, tugging Zaira into an embrace. “I think we have a lot in common.” Not to mention their feelings for First Order leaders, or former leaders. She pushed back her guilt for striking Ben.

Zaira had only ever been hugged by Hux. The sensation was enough for her tears to fall. “I’m sorry to be such a bitch.”

“You’re understandably emotional,” Maz said. “Most women in your situation are.”

“Do you still love him?” Rey asked softly.

Zaira stared at her budding stomach. “I didn’t even know if I loved him when we were together.” Her voice cracked. “But yes, I did and I do.”

“He can change,” Rey suggested. The silenced voices of Hosnian Prime and the remainder of the Republic echoed in her mind, but Ben hadn’t stopped it either, and she had to, she had to believe redemption was unfolding.

“Like young Solo?” asked Maz. “You hide it poorly, child.”

“Hey, why did you chastise me for childishness when you call us children?” Zaira interrupted, noticing Rey’s blush.

“You have yet to learn to difference between childish and childlike,” Maz replied solemnly. “Much like Ben himself.”

“They’re both good people,” Rey said stubbornly.

“Of course,” Maz agreed.

“Most people are,” she added with a pointed look towards Zaira.

Rey would never believe that of Unkur Plutt, and Zaira of Jango, but perhaps everyone else was.

 _And Snoke_ , Rey thought furiously. He’d manipulated Ben, helped destroy him and millions of others for nothing. Like Ben had said, he had no Light left in him…no life.

– Wait –

 _The Force flows through every living thing_.

She glanced at the Codex. “I have it.”

“What?” Zaira asked.

“I think we can finally end Snoke.”

 

“We’re the First Order,” Phasma replied in a steely tone.

“You’re also our captives,” said the dark-skinned man, sauntering across the dune towards his comrades.

“We haven’t surrendered,” Phasma spat.

“Oh, you have a choice?” asked General Leia.

A Wookiee stepped forward.

“ _You_ ,” Phasma said suddenly. Her heart pounded. FN-2187 had used this Wookiee.

He grunted in response, and the Jedi burst out laughing.

“He thanks you for your cooperation then and now,” Leia said sweetly.

 

“Of all the mistakes to make!” Hux fumed at a cowering Mitaka. “Does discretion mean anything to you?”

“Sir – those archives were not noted to be off limits.”

“So if it’s not strictly noted, you own it? Are we the Resistance? Do we acquiesce to disorder?”

 _Says the man shouting_ , he could almost hear Zaira retort.

 _Shut up_. He’d ended the Republic and only chaos had ensued. He was so stupid, so arrogant and blind, but that didn’t mean he wanted her voice haunting him!

“No, sir – I was rash – and – and wrong! Forgive me for my stupidity and arrogance – I only meant to please the Order,” Mitaka begged.

Hux stopped pacing to stare at Mitaka, lips parted. Mitaka’s fawning was exactly what he’d always done to his father, to his teachers at the academy, to Snoke. To please them at all costs, and fuck himself. He hated himself anyway.

“Sir?”

“I see,” Hux managed, clasping his hands behind his back lest Mitaka notice his trembling. He couldn’t bring himself to continue his tirade. “Please return to your room until summoned.”

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka arose only to pause. “Sir, will Supreme Leader Snoke hear of this?”

Hux was flummoxed. Possibly, yes, but Snoke could never learn of their distrust for Jango unless he obtained solid proof. And then he would still apologize and take responsibility, as always. “I – I don’t know.”

Mitaka had never heard his general say those words before. “Thank you, sir.”

He hurried away, leaving a deeply disturbed Hux behind.

As soon as the door shut, Hux shivered. What if Mitaka was also a spy? Why hadn’t he been kinder? Crueler?

With a scowl as refined as his uniform, Hux strode down the hallway, determined to fix this issue once and for all.

 

“If you’re hoping for information, you won’t get any.” Phasma was secretly glad to be aboard a ship if that meant out of the desert heat, but she didn’t particularly like being captured. Or seated in a small room with a general, a droid, and a Wookiee glaring at her.

“What are you doing on Tatooine?” Leia crossed her arms.

Phasma had to respect the general’s pluck, as much as she disagreed with her. “First Order business.”

“How vague,” Leia replied. “Chewie, please remove her helmet.”

Phasma jerked. “I don’t like that thing!”

“The feeling is mutual.” Leia translated Chewie’s groans.

Phasma yanked off her own helmet to reveal a flushed and surprisingly young blond woman. She couldn’t have been much older than Ben, Leia thought with horror.

“Are you happy now?” Phasma demanded.

Chewie snorted.

“I think Master Chewie would prefer you to tell us more details of your mission,” said a prim golden droid.

“Shut up, scrap metal,” snapped Phasma.

“At least his heart isn’t metal.”

Phasma glared at Leia. “You’ll have to send your Jedi in to Force-read my mind.”

Leia pursed her lips. “We don’t do that here.”

“You mean your mess of a son isn’t with you?”

Leia slapped Phasma. “Don’t you ever insult Ben again!”

Phasma sputtered. “Kylo Ren insults himself more often than any of us!”

“That I believe,” said the golden droid.

Leia rolled her eyes. “C-3PO, please.”

“Yes, Princess.”

Leia rounded on her again. “Were you hunting Ben?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?”

“No.”

“Would you believe me if I said yes?”

Leia clenched her fists.

“Oh, you mean to tell me he’s not with you? Maybe he’s taken the little Jedi girl back to join the First Order,” Phasma purred.

“Do not mock my son,” Leia seethed. “I don’t know what Snoke and the likes of you did to him, but you will never get your hands on him again.”

Phasma hesitated. She would feel the same way about her troops.

A beeping sound distracted them all.

“Oh look, the rest of my troops have found me.”

Leia tightened her grip on her blaster as the ship exploded.

As debris collapsed around them and the droid shrieked, Phasma kicked out and wrenched the blaster from Leia’s hands. She had to admit, the general was tough.

But Phasma was younger and armored and a badass, and let the world know it.

 

“General Hux,” Ben muttered.

Poe rolled his eyes. “Give it a rest, Ben.”

“You have been saying that for the last hour,” Finn admitted.

“I have not!”

“You have too,” Poe tossed back. “Goodness, it’s like neither of you think people have more than one side.”

“Us?” Ben pointed at Finn. “This man escaped the First Order and I left it after fighting the Light for years. Guess again.”

“You’re just upset because Rey knocked you,” Poe said sweetly. “Isn’t that right, BB-8?”

The droid chirped in affirmation as Ben glared at it in disgust.

“I’m a murderer. Children, innocents, Jedi. I deserved it, and more.”

“Oh no,” Finn said. “Don’t you dare do that despair move again. Nope. You’re a dynamic person – not a stone like Hux. Don’t do that.”

Hux, who had torn him from his family. Hux, who formed the Starkiller, who’d lied to him from infancy. Finn’s stomach turned. How could Zaira, who’d been so understanding toward him, have cared for _Hux_?

Their door swung open. Finn jumped.

“All of you had better awaken,” Maz announced.

“Rey’s a genius,” Zaira added, surreptitiously closing the door behind them.

“Really, Ben gave me the idea,” Rey said excitedly. She was practically glowing as she smiled at him.

“What idea?” he asked cautiously, not-so-subtly rubbing where she’d struck his legs.

“Snoke is dead, isn’t he?”

“I – I don’t know – I only had the thought when I was with you,” Ben said, eyes darting around the room.

“The Force is filled with life. Life, Ben.” Rey removed the Codex from its rag. “Can something dead bear life?”

“So you want to kill the dead…with life?” Ben quipped.

“Yes. Or, well, end the dead, at any rate. All along we’ve been fearing Snoke could get his hands on the Codex and destroy us, and maybe he can, but maybe it can also destroy _him_.”

“How?” Poe asked.

Rey’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t know.”

“We’d need many Force users, first.” Maz surveyed Ben, Rey, Finn. “Leia. Luke. Me.”

“That’s only six of us,” Finn said in frustration.

“There are the ghosts,” Rey said softly. “They saved us on Tatooine, why not save the galaxy?”

“Then why the hell haven’t they already?” Finn burst out. “There’s a Republic vanquished and children taken from their cradles, and the ghosts haven’t done _anything_.”

“We don’t even know that Snoke is dead,” Poe added.

“There were rumors five hundred years ago. Of a Sith Lord named Snoke, killed in battle against the Jedi and the Republic,” Maz said softly. “I always thought perhaps Snoke was named after him, or had somehow escaped death. But perhaps he is the same Snoke.”

“He looks it,” Ben said.

“So, great. We know what to kill Snoke with, but not how, or when, or where.” Finn scowled.

“We do, however, know why,” Poe said cheerfully.

Finn chuckled.

Ben shifted uneasily. He felt certain the _why_ also applied to him, even if his friends denied it.

“Even if we knew his new location, we’d have to fight squadrons of stormtroopers,” Poe added, noticing Ben’s discomfort.

Zaira felt sick. “No. We can’t.”

Finn met her eyes, and she pressed on. “They’re children and adults who never had a chance. They’ve been brainwashed by a brainwashed man serving something dead. I won’t let you.” Her voice broke. Damn pregnant emotions. “We have to save them.”

“She’s right,” Finn said shakily. “But I don’t think they’ll listen to us.”

“We’ll help them. Try something, anything.” Zaira grabbed his shoulder. “You have the Force and training. I have spy skills. What if, while they’re all thinking of a plan, we go save your comrades?”

“ _How_ still applies,” Ben reminded them.

“Gently. Slowly. You start with suggestions that only halfway meet the Order’s requirements, then you build from there,” Zaira said. “It’s what I was doing before I was caught.”

“How do we sneak in?” Finn’s heart raced. He had to do this. He had to!

“You don’t have to be the savior,” Poe burst out.

Finn stared at Poe. “I did for you.”

“I know,” Poe admitted, tears in his eyes. “But this is so much more impossible.”

“Snoke always finds populated planets. We’ll be townspeople, fraternizing with the enviable stormtroopers,” Zaira said in a voice so high-pitched and innocent Finn barely recognized her.

“My child, you’re quite recognizable,” Maz said gently.

Zaira flushed. “I’ll stay out of Hux’s way. And – and it’s worth it, for the stormtroopers.” She met Finn’s eyes. “You’re not just disposable soldiers, no matter what you were taught. You never have been. I’ll risk anything for that.”

“So will I,” Finn said quietly.

“Plus, if we’re there first, Snoke won’t be looking for us and we’ll be able to smuggle information,” Zaira pointed out.

Spying again, it felt right. And for a truly good cause.

Poe’s hands were sweating. He hated this idea. He hated it!

Yet he reached out to slip his hand in Finn’s. He might lose the love of his life, and damned if he would waste more time arguing.

“But where is _there_?” Rey asked. “I love the idea, but how do we know where it is? And it might be very long before we know how to properly bring down Snoke.”

“Time is fine,” Zaira said, glancing at Finn, who answered with a nod.

Poe squeezed Finn tighter.

“As for where, well, Prana owes me many favors.” Zaira smirked at the thought.

 

“Move aside, sir.” Hux glowered at the stormtrooper before him.

“General, you are not permitted entrance,” protested the trooper.

Hux saw stars. “What?”

“You’re not permitted to enter the archives.”

“I heard you,” he exploded. “I am your General, and you will stand aside.”

“That’s what the Lieutenant said,” said the stormtrooper.

“Did he also tell you not to inform on him?” How – oh, a slap from Snoke could not have hurt this much.

“No, sir.”

“Well, that settles it, then. As I am your leader, you _will_ obey me and never speak of this,” Hux commanded.

“Yes, sir.” The stormtrooper moved aside, obedient and ordered, the perfect soldier.

Hux hesitated. “What is your name, sir?”

“NB-6790, sir.” The stormtrooper was excited. The General had actually asked his name! Could he be promoted?

“Thank you.” Hux forced a smile. _NB-679-something._ It was good to know the identity of his troops, after all.

Zaira had taught him that. Maybe he should forget NB-67-something’s name after all. No, he didn’t want to.

Hux turned around. “NB-67-what?”

“NB-6790, sir.”

“Thank you.” Hux nodded and ventured further into the archives.

Towering bookshelves filled with records not hologramed in decades. They reached back to the days of the Empire, when all the troopers were miserable clones of Zaira’s great-grandfather.

Curious, he grabbed a random record and attached it to a project.

Good, these were his troops. His heart swelled with pride. A picture of ST-4567, taken from Coruscant as a chubby infant twenty-seven years ago, dead eight years ago.

Hux squirmed and changed to ST-7564. Of Hoth, twenty-five years old, one of Phasma’s first cadets. She had joined the Order a scruffy, Empire-worshiping girl whose family was wiped out by the Republic in the name of “peace.” He had seen her potential right away.

Unfortunately, ST-7564, too, had died seven years ago in a training accident. No further details, except a picture of a young man with shiny black hair and sparkling eyes. Proud to serve the First Order. FN-2187 should have died instead of him.

Hux felt a queer lump in his throat. All these people, people Zaira would have enticed to dance, dead and nothing but holograms. How was it possible to miss people he’d never met? People who didn’t matter except for their service?

He switched off the projector and tossed the record back where it belonged. Because of course he remembered exactly which of the identical-looking shelves he’d taken it from.

Hux meandered away, more and more unnerved. What if Zaira were to die, and his child raised not as the privileged soldier they deserved, but as a stormtrooper? And he would never know?

Was this how all the families felt?

Stop! Hux hit his temple. He had to stop – empathy was dangerous. Empathy caused FN-2187.

Empathy saved Zaira.

No, that was love.

Hux gasped, just to make a sound that would disturb his thoughts.

His eyes fell on a small stone door in the back. Odd, he thought – he memorized the layout of every base he’d ever visited, and he was quite certain there was door to the archives but the main one with NB-6790.

He should be a good, obedient general and not question the Supreme Leader’s oversight.

Hux plowed through the door. Stairs lit with the dimmest, flickering lights beckoned him farther down.

When he opened the second door at the bottom, brilliant white light suddenly blinded him.

He crept closer. Even the stone were white, and a chasm opened below him.

“Step forward!”

Hux leapt, but no one was in sight.

“Salute!”

He peered over the chasm.

Stormtroopers, hundreds if not thousands of them, helmets off and in hand – stormtroopers who all looked exactly like Jango Fett.

Hux couldn’t breathe. He would – how could –

“Helmets on!” The voice was Jango Fett’s, but no longer pompous. Now it was raspy, cruel, delighting in power.

Like his before the Starkiller’s debut.

Hux fled.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plasma must choose between the Order and her troops, Zaira and Finn set out to raise hell among the cadets, and Ben - well, he must decide whether to kiss Rey or not.

 

Chapter Sixteen

 

Phasma choked on sand as her ship hovered above the destroyed Resistance fighter.

With a smirk, she threw the transmitter beneath her shoulder armor at Leia’s bruised and dazed forehead. Then she scrambled up the ladder.   
            “All troops on board?” she barked.

“Yes, Captain.” FN-2000 stepped away from the controls.

“Take off,” she ordered.

“General Hux left you a private message, Captain.”

“Of course he did,” she huffed. “I’ll take it from here.”

A hologram of Hux’s face appeared. He was biting his lip – so imprudent, so disheveled.

“Mitaka has been arrested,” Hux began, hesitant. “Beyond the archive rooms, our Supreme Leader is preparing a clone army. You – and I – are apparently unnecessary. And your troops.”

Phasma’s world spun.

“Do message me when you can.” The proper Hux returned.

Phasma slammed a fist onto the console. No doubt Hux had a plan, a plan to turn sycophant and hope Snoke did not rid himself of them entirely. To murder anyone in his way. There were rumors he’d done that already, to rise to Major, if she recalled correctly.

He might kill her, too. Abandon his trooper program, and her troops.

She wouldn’t, she knew.

She’d once warned Hux that FN-2187 was dangerously attached to his fellow cadets. How hypocritical. She was dangerously attached to her troopers, period, and she wasn’t going to let Snoke damn them.

“ _Damn_ it,” she croaked, pounding the console over and over and over.

She believed in the First Order, in the Empire. She had to; they rescued her when the New Republic fought outside their home, killed her parents.

She believed in service. In duty. And she had a duty as a captain to her superiors – but also her inferiors.

“I believe in Order,” she whispered. “For order.”

Captain Phasma strode out of the console. “FN-2000, take us back to the Resistance base immediately.”

She was the only parent her troops ever knew, and damned if she’d let anyone take her away from her troops. She would not let Snoke act as the New Republic.

 

“Gone, gone, they’re all gone!” C-3PO sat up, shaking his head. A shadow fell over them. “Oh dear.”

“Not yet, they’re not,” Luke said fiercely, reaching for a blaster. His concussed sister stirred groggily beside him. He wouldn’t let that machine hurt his family, wouldn’t let the Order take any more than they had.

A shot blew the blaster out of his hand before he had a second to aim.

The shiny chrome captain slid down the ladder to face him. “I never miss. Good thing I’m back for a deal.”

“A what?” Luke gaped at her.

“Goodness gracious me, I believe she said a deal,” C-3PO insisted.

R2-D2 whirred up to them, followed by the dark-skinned trickster and that ferocious Wookiee.

Phasma gripped the blaster. “You are all invited aboard our ship for negotiations.”

“Excuse us if we don’t,” Leia grumbled, staggering to her feet. Chewie’s paws held her upright. He would not abandon her.

“Then I’ll kidnap all of you on board,” Phasma said sweetly. “Since I have the blaster and a ship. But don’t worry, we shan’t be bringing you into the Supreme Leader. Your Resistance can fire on us if we keep you too long.”

“What makes him Supreme?” Lando grumbled. Chewie moaned – he sounded just like Han then.

But in the end, Lando, Chewie, Luke, and Leia were all seated aboard, facing a chrome monster.

Behind her mask, though, she was a sweating, terrified woman.

 

“I cannot believe what you put her up to, Maz. Treachery, after years of truce!” Prana dashed into Maz and Rey’s room.

“But treachery doesn’t include massacring instead of assassinating?” Maz countered as she climbed out of bed.

Prana drew himself up. “I thought I was doing the galaxy good!”

“So did I, and we were both wrong.”

Rey was smiling, and King Prana didn’t like that one bit.

“Do you think it’s funny, what she did to me? Beat me up in my own bedroom, forced me to tell her the last location of Snoke. She’ll get herself killed for her lover. Unless her lover kills her – my, what an awful twist!” Prana clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Much more is going on than you’re capable of comprehending,” Maz said quietly. “The Force has awakened, Prana. It is in every one of us and evident in many more than we knew.”

“Besides the Jedi girl?”

“I’m Rey, and I’m not a Jedi. I’m Rey,” she insisted.

“Got any other name?” With a full name, Prana could serve up some meaty details on her history. And details meant power.

Rey thought for a moment. “I like Kenobi.”

Maz’s eyes softened.

“Kenobi?” Prana gasped.

She met his gaze. “My name is Rey Kenobi.”

The room was silent.

“Maz, I’ll awaken the men. You handle this.” Rey swept out of the room.

“Now, about your rathtars,” Maz purred.

 

Rey Kenobi. With a family who filled the Force around her. She loved Luke, but she was never a Jedi and never would be.

She fought for the Light, yes, but she had seen the dark in her fervor to kill Ben on a dying planet. In her temptation to sell BB-8 to Unkur Plutt. She was no Jedi.

She chose herself, and she chose Ben, too. They might die with a foolhardy, flimsy plan, but she would die having chosen. The Jedi path was not for her.

“Tell me you haven’t overslept.” She brushed into their room. “Prana’s bewailing whatever fear Zaira struck into him last night.”

“I now love Zaira. Even if – ” The word Hux still caught in Ben’s throat. He nodded in Poe’s direction. “He’s dozing; don’t think he slept much after his boyfriend left.”

Perfect. Rey knelt besides Ben, who regarded her with surprise.

“Um, Rey?”

“I like you,” she said with shining eyes. “As a friend and as more.”

Ben’s face melted. He slide off his bed to sit beside her. “Rey, no, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be more worthy of you. Rey, I’m a monster.”

“Not anymore, and you were never a monster down deep.” Rey poked him in his heart.

“I killed your family.”

“But they’re still here. Just, different, and that’s sad and you were wrong. But there’s forgiveness and redemption and reclamation, and you have all of those, and love too.”

“Rey, I wanted you since Takodana. Doesn’t that disturb you?”

“You had compassion for me,” she whispered, leaning forward to place a hand on his shoulder. “I have compassion for you now. And maybe something positive can come out of this.”

Tears brimmed in Ben’s eyes. His heart pounded. His father had been right. “Rey, you should have been my parent’s child, not me.”

She brushed the tear off his cheek. “Doesn’t love make families of us all?”

“ _Kiss himmmmmmmmmm_.”

“What?” Rey’s head jerked up.

Poe was still curled up on his bed, still clutching Finn’s jacket, but certainly awake. He raised his eyebrows.

“How long have you been awake?” Rey demanded.

“This whole time. You guys are adorable.”

“You –”

Ben cut her off by pressing his lips to her mouth.

BB-8 scuttled forward to chirp his approval. Rey brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, grinning like an idiot.

Ben, meanwhile, stared at her as if she was a goddess.

 

“I’m not nervous, I’m not nervous,” Finn chanted.

“Whom are you trying to convince?” Zaira side-eyed him as she switched out of hyperspace. “If it’s yourself, I can think of ten billion better ways.”

“Like?”

“Planning.” Zaira poked a finger at him. “Get into character.”

“As a traitor?”

“As an enlightened stormtrooper ready to start some mischief.”

“I’m not worried about me so much as Poe. I don’t want to leave him,” Finn said.

“You won’t. You have the Force, remember?” Zaira smirked.

“You’re hardly comforting.”

Zaira sighed. “Okay, realistically, yes, you could die and Poe will be in agony. But at least it’s for a good cause, even if it doesn’t feel right.” She faced Finn. “That was what I told myself, anyway, when I found I loved the people I spied on.”

Finn pitied her. “What will you do if Hux sees you again?”

_Punch? Kick? Cry?_

“Embrace him so hard he can’t scream,” she decided.

 

“Let me get this straight. You – you actually care about the stormtroopers?” Lando shook his head. “Did it occur to you that maybe you shouldn’t have taken them from their families?”

“Yes,” Phasma sniped. “But their families were impoverished, victimized by the New Republic. We gave their children purpose and their families vengeance for all they lost.”

“You sent them right back to slavery,” Leia said, her voice quivering with rage. She knew what it was like to lose a child to Snoke. Snoke and General Hux had to _pay_. “Don’t you dare blame the New Republic for this.”

“Don’t you dare blame the Empire,” Phasma shot back. “And lest you call me hypocritical: my family had purpose, destiny with the Empire. You took everything from us, and then you took them. Toppling a dictatorship has consequences, Your Highness.”

“She lost her entire planet; you think she doesn’t know that?” Luke burst out.

“Is it better to let the dictatorship continue, torturing people and murdering billions?” Leia asked. “No.”

“That’s why I’m asking you to save my troops,” Phasma said icily. She hated that she’d told her story – only Hux, Zaira, and Snoke knew. But she had wanted Leia to understand, to repent of her actions.

And yet she felt guilty instead.

“How can we, when they’ve been conditioned to kill us?” Luke asked. Images of dead Jedi children, the children he was supposed to protect, flashed before him. One more chance to save the children. They had to. Leia had to see this.

Phasma thought of Zaira’s troops, currently ignoring their reconditioning. She was already so deep in treachery. “They obey orders. Always.”

“You’ll command them to help us?”

“Yes. Until Snoke is removed.”

“And then? We transition back to war?” Leia cocked her head.

Phasma swallowed. Hux had to understand. “You help us bring Order.”

“Only if you help us bring freedom.” Leia stood.

“How can those coexist?”

“I don’t know. But we have wise teachers.” Leia smiled at Luke. “I believe it starts by not allowing the massacre of innocent soldiers.”

Phasma’s heart leapt. She felt sick. “Deal.”

Chrome-plated fingers squeezed Leia’s calloused, worn palms in a handshake Chewie could never have imagined.

R2-D2 beeped.

“You did _not_ predict this, R2,” C-3PO hissed as Leia said, “Now, for the combat plans.”

 

Finn felt naked without his jacket. But he’d needed Poe to hold onto it. A promise, it was.

            Now he and Zaira were dressed in simple black uniforms, the same clothes worn by everyone else in this village. The clothes of the engineers who built training weapons and simulators for the youngest stormtroopers.

It was best the jacket had stayed behind, but Finn wished for the jacket to hide behind. He recognized this place. He’d been here. Children stormtroopers trained here until age ten.

            He remained surprised by how easily Zaira had breezed into the village. Her personality became friendly and eager, her eyes wide and naïve.

            Finn couldn’t help noticing her now visible pregnancy. Not so prominent that people would notice without foreknowledge, but still. He couldn’t let harm come to her.

            Zaira noticed his discomfort. “Don’t you do that,” she hissed, leading them out of the shop. “Don’t you dare try to protect me.”

            “What am I supposed to do?” Finn retorted.

            “Your mission,” Zaira replied, aware just how hypocritical she sounded, but unwilling to back down.

            “I was taught all my life to focus on the mission instead of the people, and I’ll never do that again.”

            “Life isn’t ideal enough for that option,” Zaira said.

            “Are you certain? I thought fighting the First Order wasn’t an option, and look where I am.” Finn gestured around.

Zaira gulped. “We’re attracting attention.”

Not far away, right before the compound on the edge of the village, right before the destruction of minds and souls, two sentries watched them.

“Remember the plan.” Zaira shoved Finn before sauntering towards the guards.

“Oh dear, we’re about to be late to talk with Captain Phasma about developing the new simulators,” Zaira said, biting her nails.

“The ones with the desert background,” Finn put in.

What kind of description was that? Zaira held her breath.

“Right this way.” The guard waved them in.

Zaira glanced at Finn. So Phasma was here. “That means Hux and Snoke are probably still here, too.”

“Why, if Prana knew his location before he betrayed him?” And could Snoke sense the Force?

“Classic dare,” Zaira whispered back. “Snoke won’t show he’s intimidated. My guess is he hopes Prana suffers the fear of retribution before he actually attacks.”

“What are you going to do? If they hear about a girl with purple hair…”

“I know.” Zaira winced. Her mark of humanity now just might get her killed. “We’ll have to implement the plan sooner than I thought.”

“I thought we _were_ implementing the plan.”

“The second part.”

Finn stopped. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You have to, or your siblings here will die!”

“They’re not my siblings.” Finn paused.

“But aren’t they?” Zaira challenged.

“But I don’t want to brainwash anyone every again,” Finn lamented. “How am I supposed to be immoral to be moral?”

Zaira grabbed his hands. “Because the people are the mission this time. We have to.”

Finn nodded. Rey’s teaching had been hasty at best, but he had to believe in himself.

They hurried into the bunker.

“Which way to training headquarters?” Zaira asked, twirling a strand of hair around her fingers. “We’re supposed to meet with Captain Phasma.”

The stormtrooper paused. “She’s on a mission.”

His voice wasn’t particularly suspicious, but there was too much risk of unwanted attention. Finn stepped in front of Zaira, blocking her from view further in the bunker. “You’ll tell us where the training headquarters are, and you’ll speak of this to no one.”

The stormtrooper relaxed. “Of course I will.”

Five minutes later Zaira and an increasingly anxious Finn were sitting at a computer.

“Finally, something in my daily lieutenant duties proves valuable,” she muttered.

“We’re in?” Finn shifted impatiently.

“TR-0033 and TR-1776, the only TR cadets through training,” Zaira confirmed. “You’re 1776.”

“Great. Now let’s do this before we get caught.” Finn turned back towards the door. “There should be uniforms on the last level.”

“Hold up.” Zaira pressed another series of buttons. “Oh look, we have patrol duty for three hours starting in thirty minutes. Think we can make it?”

“We’ve got to.” Finn wondered if Poe’s secret to confidence was acting. Perhaps, if he could act confident, he could be confident.

Half an hour later, two sentries scrambled for duty.

“You’re late, TRs,” snapped Attendant Thannison.

“Sorry, sir,” Zaira said quickly. She held her breath until she and Finn were out of earshot.

“You sure you’re safe in that?” Finn asked.

“It’s tight, but not harmful. I think.” Zaira kept her eyes ahead. “Seems you have more reasons to be uncomfortable.”

Finn felt the papers pricking into his shirt. “It’s fine.”

“Really?”

“It’s itchy and terrible. But it feels better inside, knowing we’re doing the right thing.”

He’d said the right thing was leaving once, and it was. And now returning was the only moral option. Finn felt a headache manifesting.

“I’m glad you think so.” Zaira knew she was safe – If she encountered Hux, he would see her as merely a drop in the sea of stormtroopers. Yet, she felt miserable – she wanted to see him again, to persuade him to join the right side.

Even though she knew she was on the right side, she felt no more righteous.

 

“Sir, did you hear about the stormtroopers?”

Hux stared at Mitaka. “Why. Would. You. Bother. Me.”

He was alone brooding over his impending doom, dammit! Phasma had yet to reply, and he was all alone, alone, alone and soon to die.

Mitaka trembled. “Sir, someone’s distributed footage of the Jakku massacre – well, the bodies. They’re burned and – ” He gagged.

Hux leapt to his feet and yanked the paper from his hands.

Charred bones, tattered tents, ruined blasters. A few lines detailing exactly what atrocities they’d committed.

He should never have sent them out so soon.

Hux felt the overwhelming urge to peel away his skin, and with his skin, his guilt. To extract himself from the images of what he’d helped happen time and time again.

“These aren’t Resistance images. They’re _ours_ ,” he spat. “Captain Phasma had them take as proof for the Supreme Leader.”

“We have another spy?”

“Find out the name of every person who’s been in the database today – no, this week. Arrest everyone until we get to the bottom of this.”

Mitaka bolted, leaving Hux alone again in his office.

 _What will you choose?_ read the last line.

They were too far deep. No one had a choice anymore. Hux crumpled the paper.

He wanted out.

 

“Did you hear about the papers?” A stormtrooper sat next to Zaira, who was busy estimating at least a thousand seats in this mess hall. Children to adults, all innocent.

She glanced to the side. “Papers?”

He laughed nervously. “I mean, I didn’t see it; I just heard about it from my buddy. Papers saying we’re the bad guys.”

“It’s okay if you did see them. I mean, I heard that whole incident was why FN-2187 left,” Zaira confessed.

“Who?”

“You didn’t hear?” Zaira leant forward, lowering her voice just enough to put him at ease. “He was one of four FN cadets, and they were on Jakku, and he _abandoned_ the First Order. Because he believed it was the right thing to do.”

“What an idiot,” scoffed the stormtrooper.

“Maybe he was delusional,” suggested a female stormtrooper behind them.

 _Yes_. So they had overheard. Zaira smiled behind her mask.

“I don't believe you,” said a third. “No one would ever betray the First Order.”

“We’re not doing well,” said the first boy uneasily.

“General Hux says we’re stronger now,” replied the girl.

“We did lose the Starkiller,” put in a second girl. Her fearful tone contained everything Zaira wanted to hear: _what if they’re lying to us_?

Hopefully Finn was having similar luck across the mess hall, as one of the troopers assigned to watch the younger ones.

After their dinner, if one could call the bland and hard food that, Zaira approached Finn. “We’ll be bunking on Floor 1, Room-2178.”

“You had to choose that number,” Finn grumbled.

“You caught that.”

“Don’t get me caught.”

“I won’t, Finn, I promise.” Zaira wasn’t sure how to keep said promise, but who cared? She made promises she couldn’t keep all the time. Still, her growing stomach reminded her that she should probably start.

“How did it go?”

“Planting seeds is all we’re doing. Hopefully they’ll take after enough information.” Zaira chewed on her lower lip. “Unfortunately, it appears at least twenty officers and sentries were arrested.”

“Can we free them?”

“I can’t – not without being caught.”

“But what if I can?”

Zaira stopped. “It’s risky.”

“My entire life has been a risk since I left the Order.” Finn cleared his throat. “You contact Maz; I’ll find the cells.”

“Be careful. My promise didn’t cover you risking your ass this much.”

“I’m quite sure it did.” Finn chuckled, not a little from anxiety, and headed further toward his past.

He’d seen Poe taken into cells like these, he reflected a few minutes later. Except that’d been onboard the _Finalizer_.

“We didn’t do anything, we swear!” wailed a man.

Finn ground his teeth and burst into the room. “You will stop this torture immediately.”

“I will stop this torture immediately.”

“Leave to your quarters, and say nothing.”

“Who are you?” growled one of twenty prisoners as the torturer blithely agreed to Finn’s demands.

Finn froze to recognize Colonel Datoo. For a moment he forgot himself, forgot Poe, forgot anything but the fear of blending in when he knew he couldn’t.

“I’m someone you will forget immediately.”

But Datoo hadn’t been looking at him. Everyone else seemed swayed, but not Colonel Datoo.

As the prisoners filed out, Datoo grabbed his elbow. “I see you clones are already working, eh?”

Finn gulped.

Then he did something unthinkable.

He wrenched Datoo around and threw the colonel straight into the wall. “You will tell me everything.”

 

“Zaira, I failed – I failed!” gasped Finn as he entered their room.

She leapt to her feet, no longer in uniform. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, no, I freed them, but one of the prisoners was Datoo – and he wasn’t obedient like the rest – so I made him tell me everything – and then I brainwashed him eventually – and he said there’s a clone army from _your_ _father_! And I’m as bad as the First Order after all!” Finn doubled over, dry heaving.

“No!” Zaira leapt forward, grabbed his wrists. Her head buzzed and she was numb at heart, but she knew she had to speak. “You aren’t. You quite possibly just saved your fellow stormtroopers.”

“But my methods?” shouted Finn. “I’m a torturer!”

“Questioning and brainwashing aren’t torture. You didn’t invade his mind. You had no motive except to help.”

“But help was the motives of all the troopers when they burnt the village on Jakku,” protested Finn.

“True,” Zaira acquiesced. “But every situation is different, maybe. Every one. You can compare and guilt yourself into infinity – and we all could – or you can help me now.”

“Your father.” Finn came to his senses. “What are you going to do?”

Zaira’s eyes burned. She knew what her father was doing. She needed no convincing, and that made her sick. Jus the sort of treachery Fetts would pull.

“I’m going to find out where they’re growing these clones and stop us Fetts once and for all. What are _you_ going to do?”

Finn didn’t hesitate. They didn’t have time. “Call Maz and stop Snoke.”

“Well said.” Zaira stepped back. “You will do it. You have the Force. You have the goodness in your heart, the light, whatever you call it. And the dark. Use both. Whatever you can to keep the good.”

“And your baby?”

Zaira shook. “Pray to the Force for both of us.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke attempts to placate Hux while Zaira faces her father...and a thousand of his clones.

 

Chapter Seventeen

 

“What? Is she aware how dangerous that is?” Rey cried, grabbing Ben’s arm.

“I think we all are,” replied a fuzzy hologram with Finn’s voice.

“We have to help.” Poe’s fists tightened. If that woman got Finn caught, he’d never forgive her.

“How?” Maz asked calmly. “King Prana has agreed to supply rathtars to Snoke’s ship when the beast moves again. While Snoke is monumentally distracted, we’ll either destroy him with the Codex or turn him alive until a rathtar swallows him.”

Rey blinked back tears of anger. Ben had seen that expression on her face before, when she’d delved into his mind, when she’d sliced him up with a lightsaber.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, a bit timidly.

“That we’re doing this now with or without Prana.”

Maz sighed. “I was afraid of that. You humans never live long enough for patience.”

BB-8 beeped.

“BB, you’re younger than me,” Poe said with a wry smile.

“I can carry on without her – though it’ll be much more difficult,” Finn said.

“You shouldn’t have to,” said Poe.

“We’ll be slaughtered by stormtroopers and a giant dead cretin,” Ben argued.

Rey glared at him.

“It’s true!”

“We won’t.” Rey poked Ben’s chest. “Because we’ll make Prana release the rathtars now.”

“Is releasing rathtars your thing? You know how many stormtroopers they’ll kill? They all still trust the First Order too much. _All_ ,” Finn blustered.

“That was a mistake,” Rey snapped, noticing Poe and Ben exchange frowns. “We’ll use the rathtars to lure stormtroopers away. Maz can use the force to freeze the beasts before they eat anyone.”

“Too risky,” Finn exclaimed.

“Then I’ll help,” Rey shot back. “Ben, here.” She shoved the Codex into his hands.

His body flooded with the Force, so strong and beautiful he could barely breathe.

“You kill Snoke,” she said even as her eyes communicated, _I trust you_.

“Me?”

“You’re the grandson of Anakin Skywalker. You have to.”

“You’re the one,” Ben protested. “You’re the special one.”

“You know Snoke’s movements better than anyone. I trust you.”

Maz groaned. “I’ll go talk to Prana. Finn, try not to embark on a new adventure before we arrive.”

Finn exhaled. He had no idea how to thank them. His mind, however, noticed another interaction to distract himself from impending battle.

“Wait, wait, wait, look at them!” He jabbed a finger at Rey and Ben. “Poe! Did it happen?”

“All it took was a little friendly pressure,” Poe confirmed.

“I haven’t even been gone a day!” Finn exploded.

“Don’t worry, I’ll describe it in detail once we return,” Poe said, smirking.

“What?” Rey demanded. “Who are you talking about?”

“Rascals,” muttered Maz. Of course, they would all like forget about the future for a moment, so there was no stopping these children.

“I can’t believed you kissed Ben while I wasn’t there,” Finn moaned. “I’ve been waiting ages!”

“On second thought, send the rathtars straight to him,” Ben said. “That reminds me.” He turned to Rey. “So, you released rathtars once?”

“I’m not perfect.”

“Yes, you are.” Ben kissed Rey again in full view of everyone.

Who knew if he’d ever have the privilege again.

 

Zaira scurried into the command center again, as quickly as her stormtrooper uniform would allow. She really should have put her uniform back on.

But hopefully no one had heard about the spy with purple hair. That seemed like the sort of information Hux would like to keep quiet.

A quick search revealed where her father’s rooms were located. The lowest level – creepily close to where Finn was, actually.

“What are you doing out of uniform, officer?” snapped an official behind her.

 _Thanisson_. She knew of him, but they’d never crossed paths before. What a nervous young fellow.

“Sending all of our records to the Resistance, Petty Officer,” she said coolly.

“Well, you don’t have to be rude,” he burst out.

Zaira’s eyebrows raised. Most First Order officers had their emotions beaten out of them. He was more than he appeared. Impressive.

 _Good luck_ , she thought as she marched away to confront her father.

 

“You’re _what_?” Leia’s hologram gaped at Poe.

“General, I couldn’t stop us even if I wanted to. Finn’s already there.”

“And you obviously don’t want to.” Leia’s voice came out strangled. “So you call me up after months missing to tell me you’re on a suicide mission?”

Ben was too weak. This monster and the Codex would kill him.

“Thought you might like to help out. Except you’re not allowed to hurt the stormtroopers. Zaira and Finn have quite the soft spots for them. And so do I.”

“Well, that explains where she’s been,” Leia said.

“I’m sorry,” squeaked a red-faced Poe. “What more would you like to know?”

“Where is Ben?”

“Here!” yelled Rey, yanking a scared young man up to see his mother.

“Ben,” Leia croaked. “Why did all of you have to disappear at once?”

“Ask King Prana,” piped up Maz from the backseat. “I would love to see you take him to task.”

Ben’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He seemed too scared, too ashamed, too overcome with love to say words.

“Are you en route now?” Leia asked finlly.

“Er, yes.” Poe forced a grin. “Wanna help?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Mother,” Ben whispered, half expecting her not to hear him. “I love you.”

Leia swallowed. “I love you, too.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut. “I know.”

And for the first time in his life he really did.

 

Zaira glanced both ways down the hall before blasting into Jango’s room.

She paused.

No Jango, no fight, no threats. An empty room with an unmade bed. How far her father had gone since she’d known him.

Or perhaps he’d always been scheming for power.

Zaira tiptoed further into the room. All First Order officer rooms were laid out the same, with a bed against the left wall, clothes hung on a rack to the right, and a desk in the back. Stormtroopers had just the beds.

How sickening that he’d been made an officer. He’d tried to kill Hux.

A twinge of anger pawed at her. For the most part she just felt numb, as if she had subconsciously expected this sort of treachery.

The desk was shifted from its usual position. How unlike Jango, to call attention to himself, but then, had she ever really known Jango?

Frowning, Zaira stepped closer to investigate and found herself listening to the hollow sound of her foot right where the desk should have been.

Doubtless Jango was down there, or the desk would be back in its rightful position. She leapt down the trapdoor without a second glance.

No father. No Jango, ready for a fight. Just a tunnel.

 

“Captain Phasma is late returning from her mission, General,” growled Snoke. “I want this spy fiasco ended once and for all.”

Hux cleared his throat. “Yes, I have tried contacting her, Supreme Leader.”

“Trying isn’t doing, is it?” Snoke cocked his head. “You seem nervous, General.”

“We cannot afford to lose another leader like the Captain, sir,” Hux stammered.

“I see.” Snoke settled back into his throne. “It has nothing to do with the discovery you made this afternoon?”

“I beg your pardon, Supreme Leader?”

“Are you playing me, General?” Snoke’s voice lowered.

“Never, Supreme Leader.” Hux dropped to his knees. “I never meant to trespass into what you wished kept secret.”

“Hmm.” Snoke shook his head. “You did mean, because you do not trust me.”

Hux caught his breath. “No, I do trust you, Supreme Leader – I owe everything to you! I believe in the First Order, in our dominance, with every fiber of my being.”

“You do, I know.” Snoke swept a giant finger down under Hux’s chin, tipping his eyes upward. “I do not blame your suspicion. It is expected, what with Kylo Ren’s fall and your lover’s treason.”

Hux choked. How much did he know? “S-s-s-sir.”

“Yes, I know everything from Jango.” Snoke smiled. “You didn’t think you could keep anything from me, did you? When has that ever done you good?”

“Never.”

“Exactly,” Snoke said. “You may rise, General. You are a valued member of my Order.”

“Then, Supreme Leader – why are you making a clone army?” Hux dared to ask.

“To aid your troops. Clones mature faster than humans, after all. Your troops will be finer, of course, but their losses can be mitigated by the clones.” Snoke smiled.

Did clones have consciences? Lives? Did they matter? Hux didn’t know, and he couldn’t help but feel conflicted.

“I thought aiding your program would show my respect for you,” Snoke added.

Suddenly Hux felt sick. All Snoke had done was try to help, yet he’d gone behind Snoke’s back by informing Phasma, and now she was late returning. What had he done? Was he as much a traitor as Zaira?

 _But at least she was a good person_.

He briefly considered unfurling all his sins before Snoke, repenting and rising again clean.

“Now, my good General, we should discuss our plans,” murmured Snoke.

Always in control, always planning, always unsentimental yet favorable towards those who trusted him. Snoke was his father’s perfect leader, Hux realized. Snoke was everything he’d been striving to be.

 

Zaira gagged at the sight of about a thousand Jango clones. The world didn’t need more Jango Fetts.

Though perhaps these could be different. Just because they were grown in a lab, did that make them less human? Zaira didn’t know.

Her grandfather had been a clone, yet lived out a normal life. Zaira touched her stomach. Maybe life was life, but she didn’t want it to be.

Because if all life was precious to her, she would have to kill some of them to stop Snoke. She couldn’t – she had to –what was right, what was right?

“Already forgetting so much, are we?”

Zaira spun around to see Jango standing a safe distance behind her.

She cursed her fear. She’d forgotten her senses at the worst possible time.

“Daughter, you are such a disappointment.” Jango sighed. “There’s no saving you, you know that?”

“Maybe I’m not the only one who needs saving.”

“Bold talk, for a treacherous spy.” Jango stared at her, and for a moment Zaira wondered if he would let her free. She was his blood.

Jango whistled, the same sharp, long screech that had awoken her every morning, the shrill that had started her every training match.

She bolted down the hallway, kicking him sideways. The crack of his head against the tunnel wall sounded like music.

He’d know she hadn’t come alone. She couldn’t endanger Finn, couldn’t hurt him like that. She might not have been able to save her own troops, but she could save Finn, couldn’t she?

Ten Jangos stared down at her. Her exit was blocked.

“No!” A clone from below threw her into the wall, and now _her_ head was the cracked one.

Zaira kicked out against these clone, against Jango, against a father who’d never been anything but a taskmaster and a villain. Her logic fled her, and now she was fighting just for her younger self, for the self that should have had freedom and love.

In the mist of her struggle, she was vaguely aware of arms dragging her above the tunnel, of someone holding back her arms while another clone secured her legs together. She couldn’t run now. She’d never been able to run, had she?  
           Tears of indignation streamed down her face. She’d lost her senses at the most important time, broken free of Jango’s training at the time she’d actually needed it.

“Well, well, well.” Jango peered down at his daughter as a trooper fastened restraints on her wrists. “You’re quite agile despite your condition. I’m impressed.”

Zaira knew pleading a grandchild would only anger him further, so she stayed still, glowering at him.

“I’ll run ahead, but in a few minutes you will take her to Supreme Leader Snoke,” Jango informed the troopers. He winked at Zaira. “Got to make sure your Hux is present for his present.”

The restraints may have kept her from slapping him, but her mouth was free. Zaira hurled a wad of saliva straight into his nose.

 

Finn was not prepared for the pounding on his door, even though he’d been expecting it.

“All stormtroopers are requested to assemble before Colonel Datoo on the bridge,” sniped an officer.

Finn obeyed. Instantly. He knew exactly how to follow orders, and he hated himself for it.

Would they get suspicious if Zaira didn’t show up? He paused, watching the stormtroopers file down the hall and up the stairs. Had she been caught?

“Word has it there are rathtars about,” he whispered to a trooper passing by, who gave him a strange look. But Finn had no doubt the rumor would spread like wildfire, and hopefully aid preparations.

But if they were really being summoned to fight rathtars, would the officers be so calm?

He searched the force quickly, unsure if he could sense the presence of a force-insensitive woman.

Anxiety shot through Finn. For once, his misgivings had been correct.

Zaira was in trouble. Maybe the rathtars were here, but they could just as likely be summoned to learn of a spy impersonating a stormtrooper.

How long before the others arrived? Did she have that long to live? Finn didn’t know how quickly the First Order dealt with traitors, but he had to doubt it.

_No one can help me._

_Ghosts! Where are you?_ Finn scanned the hallway, but saw no one. He ground his teeth. What good was the Force if it didn’t save his friend’s life? He turned to follow the stormtroopers.

 _Reconditioning_.

The thought popped in his head, and Finn gasped audibly. What if there were more like him, or at least troopers skeptical enough to be persuaded? Not to join the Resistance, mind you – they’d never follow him then – but just to rebel against Snoke?

He had to try. And with rathtars on their way, he had better try fast.

If this base was set up anything like before, reconditioning was on the same level as the interrogation rooms. Finn ducked back into his room and threw his stormtrooper helmet on the bed. He’d do this dressed as himself or not at all. He had to save Zaira.

 

“I don’t believe this.” Poe hovered close to the surface of the planet, where gelatinous, toothy blobs were racing around.

“That’s a rathtar? You knew this and you still thought it was a good idea?” Ben felt a mix of awe and fear for Rey.

“I’d rather face them than Snoke. At least we both know what we’re getting into.” Rey squeezed his hand as Poe landed the fighter.

Rey grabbed her stick and leapt out. “Looks like Finn isn’t here yet.”

Poe took a sharp reath. “I’m gonna go shoot the beasts from up high.”

Ben barely had time to scramble out of the jet before Poe took off.

“May the Force be with you.” Rey nodded at him.

“You, too. Stay safe?” Ben’s eyes pled with her, but she was already concentrating on helping Maz.

He took off in the direction of the compound.

 

“Is this reconditioning?”

“Who wants to know?” A freckled girl scowled at him.

“Not very cadet-like, 3131,” chided a lanky boy before turning to Finn. “Yes. I’m RT-3100. Everyone was just called away, and we don’t know why.”

Finn recognized the suspicion. “Rathtars.”

“They’re not native here,” objected another stormtrooper.

“And we’re not native slaves to the Order,” Finn said.

3131 gasped. “You can’t say that!”

“Oh yes, he can,” affirmed the first boy, their evident leader. He hurried forward and closed the door behind Finn. “You can call me Hundred, actually. Who are you?”

“I’m TR – no, no I’m not. I’m Finn.”

“Who are you?” asked 3131 coolly.

“I doubt any double agent would say the things he just did,” Hundred said. Several other stormtroopers nodded behind him.

3131 relaxed. “I suppose not, but isn’t that how Zaira did it?”

“We’re not the Resistance,” another girl pointed out.

“I am,” Finn said. Why not completely expose himself?

“I don’t like you,” 3131 said instantly.

“I’m a friend of Zaira Dax? Do you know her?”

“Uh, she betrayed us?”

“That was an accident!”

“So?”

Finn narrowed his eyes.

“Did you release rathtars to eat our comrades?” Another trooper sounded generally distressed.

“No, just Snoke,” Finn protested. “Sort of. He’s the only one we don’t like. Why don’t you trust the First Order?”

“Phasma told us to prove our loyalty by not listening to reconditioning,” Hundred explained grimly. “But their techniques are the same as those Phasma and Hux used when we were younger. It’s not that we don’t trust the Order, but rather that we don’t know _who_ to trust. Other than each other.”

“Wanna start with me?”

“No?” Hundred grinned.

Finn winced. He was so close to helping. “What if I said I’m FN-2187?”

 

“Move!” Ben force-froze two terrified sentries in front of the compound. _Just follow the darkness. You’ll find him_.

It didn’t take him long. Snoke never changed the layout of his base; just its location.

 _Use the Codex; use it now_. Ben grappled for the small rag tied around his waist. All he had to do was jump through the doors and fling this at Snoke – hopefully –

A noise not far away drew his attention. Stormtroopers approached – stormtroopers carrying a purple-haired girl.

_New plan._

“Supreme Leader!” Ben bowled through the door.

Hux whirled around. Of course, Kylo Ren would show up now to stop him from being Snoke’s right-hand.

Ben gulped at Hux’s presence. _Don’t think of Zaira, don’t laugh, don’t laugh_.

“You traitor.” Snoke growled.

“If I were, I wouldn’t be here to inform you that the First Order is under attack by rathtars, and that those rathtars are a distraction. I’m supposed to kill you,” Ben spat.

Snoke’s eyes widened. For a moment, Ben saw dismay on the creature’s gargantuan face – but also contempt. Snoke didn’t realize they knew his secret.

“Is that so.”

“I wouldn’t trust him,” Hux said.

“We’ll see.” Snoke held out a hand towards Ben.

Ben let the creature rummage through his mind one last time, hoping beyond hope that the Codex’s power would be enough to stop Snoke from seeing his treachery.

“Hmm. I still detect the dark side in you.” Snoke was still suspicious, but Ben appeared safe.

He felt no fear. Yes, he was dark, but he was also Light, light like Rey. And Snoke could not touch him again.

His fingers twitched; he daren’t reach the Codex while Snoke’s eyes remained on him.

“Supreme Leader!” Now it was Jango’s turn to dive through the door. But Snoke’s eyes never moved.

Ben cursed internally.

Hux scowled, evidently hating this plump older man more than Kylo Ren.

“We’ve apprehended my daughter, sneaking back onto base. No doubt trying to kill you.” Jango’s eyes met Hux’s.

 _Daughter_. Now Ben hated Jango more than Hux. Surely Snoke would look away now.

 

She wasn’t even allowed the dignity of walking in herself. No, two stormtroopers – clones, Hux realized with a twist in his stomach – carried her in and threw her to the ground.

But it was her, Hux knew as she struggled to her knees. Her lavender curls were messy and tinged with auburn at the roots, and her tiny nose was trickling blood, but this was Zaira Fett.

She felt his eyes on her, roaming to her stomach.

Hux’s breath caught. So she remained pregnant. She couldn’t cleanse herself from him if she wanted, just like he couldn’t remove himself from her. Not that he wanted to.

“Well, well, well,” murmured Snoke, his eyes still on a visibly distressed Ben. “Your mistake returns, General.”

He flushed, much to Ben’s surprise.

Ben could see sweat on the General’s forehead. Whatever was about to happen, and however a terrible he was, General Hux was not indifferent to Zaira.

“It’s not often our mistakes invite correction,” Snoke continued. “Two in one day?” He beamed at Ben.

 _You fool_ , thought Ben, fighting to keep his face happy. _Rey, think of Rey_.

“I see no need for a trial. We already know she’s a spy, and unwilling to turn.” Jango rubbed the back of his head. “Shall I do it, Supreme Leader?”

“No. She’s not yours anymore.” Snoke stretched out an enormous finger and ran it down Zaira’s shoulder to her stomach. She didn’t need the force to fing his fingers cold, ethereal, dead.

Snoke snorted. “So rumors of your fertility are true.”

Hux’s face was now dead white.

“It’s a shame you couldn’t have been more loyal. We could have used you,” Snoke continued.

“That will never happen,” Zaira growled, certain of little else.

“How sentimental,” Snoke observed with disgust.

“Sentiment has gotten me farther than you’ll ever go,” Zaira replied. She glanced at her father. “You, too.”

Snoke laughed, a horrifying sound that sent screams down the spines of those present. “General.”

“Supreme Leader,” Hux replied automatically.

“Now that I have proved my loyalty to you, you shall return the favor.” Snoke’s eyes landed on the blaster pistol forever by the General’s side.

“I … I … Supreme Leader.” Hux bowed his head as his hands glided towards his side.

Nothing short of Ben sneaking up to Snoke could save her, and he was still too far away for whatever he had planned. Bile rose in Zaira’s throat.

She felt Hux approach, but she couldn’t bear to watch. She didn’t want another image of him serving the First Order in her head. She wanted to remember him as the man who’d whispered tender words to her, who’d embraced and entrusted her.

“I don’t blame you,” she whispered as his boots stopped right in front of her. How many times had she done as her father bid, too? They were both victims of their parents, and themselves.

 _Look away! Look away from me_! Ben screamed internally as Snoke’s eyes remained on him.

 _He knows_. Ben felt sick. _Distract, do something, anything – she’s going to die._

Hux felt the trigger, the trigger made just for him, beneath his sweating fingertip as he aimed the blaster at Zaira’s head. Why did she have to come back? It hadn’t been to kill him, that much he knew.

His hands shook. He wanted out again. His intimate moments with Snoke couldn’t hide that forever. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to be himself.

“Hurry,” hissed Jango. “Be a man.”

Just like Brendol. Hux jumped, then regained his footing and glared sideways. “Oh, no. Not like you.”

He dropped the blaster, fell to his knees as a sob rose in his throat. “Zaira, Zaira, forgive me.”

“What?” shrieked Jango.

Hux wrapped his arms around Zaira; his fingers fumbled to untie her. His eyes burned with salt and his nose ran and he was gloriously undignified and this was exactly how he needed to die. “I won’t hurt her again. Sentiment has value.”

Snoke’s voice was low, dangerous. “You’ve ruined yourself.”

“What?” shrieked Jango again.

Hux saw Ben’s dark-clad form step towards Snoke.

And then Snoke slapped Ben, sending Hux’s former rival sprawling before him.

“Ben,” gasped Zaira, stretching out a free hand.

A crystal shattered and Snoke screamed, screamed like he was going mad.

He was shrinking, shrinking down to the side of a child. A vortex surrounded him, sucking all air from the room.

“The Codex,” she yelped.

Hux clasped Zaira, determined to protect her from whatever the hell was happening.

“Supreme Leader!” wailed Jango, purple from the need to breathe.

And then the wind ended and the air flooded back in.

Snoke was now the size of a small child, and no longer see-through. He was alive and furious.

 _But alive_ , Zaira thought desperately.

 _I failed_ , Ben thought in a panic.

Hux, however, was too horrified and stunned to think.

Snoke’s voice was now high-pitched, far more frightening than the rumble he’d had before. “Fett, have your clone army sweep the building. Kill every last stormtrooper, and take Ben Solo, Zaira Fett, and General Hux to interrogation.”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Rey and Maz battle the clones and Finn searches for help, Hux, Zaira, and Kylo are imprisoned by Snoke.

Chapter Eighteen

 

Rey felt a shift in the force. Not an awakening, per se, but a lightening.

“Ben,” she gasped, as a rathtar dove for a stormtrooper directly in front of her. Her arms raised to force-freeze it, but Poe’s jet had already destroyed the creature.

Rey wasn’t sure what she felt. She glanced at Maz, whose face was deadly serious.

“I believe the dark has come back to life.”

 _Ben_! Rey searched the Force and felt nothing.

“Why not back to death?” she yelled. “That seems more reasonable!”

Instead of answering her, Maz nodded behind Rey.

At first Rey thought they were more stormtroopers. But if so, why were they blasting their comrades?

 _Clones_.

Her heart plummeted as flametrooper clones lit a dozen troopers on fire.

“No!” she screamed. How many Finns were among them?

Without second-guessing, Rey tore towards the approaching army. “We have to stop them!”

Maz was already freezing the clone flametroopers, but chaos reigned. Enemy and friend were dressed alike. Several troopers panicked and ran, one straight into a rathtar.

Rey froze a blaster shot in mid-air before sending it flying into the rathtar’s jaws. The trooper tumbled out of its mouth, injured but very much alive.

“Help us,” Rey commanded. “Help your brothers and sisters.”

“I’m a coward,” shrieked the trooper, yanking off her helmet to reveal a girl younger than Rey.

“So _change_ ,” Rey pled, holding out a hand.

The girl began to sob. “I don’t think I can. I’m scared.”

“You can.” Rey grabbed her hand and hoisted her off the ground.

“Only superficial wounds,” said Maz from behind them. “You should be fine.”

The trooper’s face burned.

“You’re not a bad person,” Rey assured her. “I understand right now it’s terrifying, but just by being a stormtrooper you are brave. You can be brave. We all can.”

The trooper nodded and gingerly reached for a fallen blaster.

Where was Finn? Ben? Leia? Rey’s heart hammered as she froze more clones. They didn’t stand a chance for much longer.

 

“Well, this is a terrible situation,” Ben said as the doors slammed shut. At least a dozen clones guarded their only exit, with orders to shoot the second the door opened. He wouldn’t even have a chance to use the Force.

“You tried,” Zaira replied.

“Tried with _what_?” Hux’s eyes narrowed.

“The Codex. It, er, amplifies the Force. To kill Snoke, because he’s already dead.”

“What?”

“I think we only resurrected him.” Ben rested his head in his hands.

“If he’s alive, he’s vulnerable to being killed. Maybe. I really don’t know.”

Hux was incredulous. “Who thought of this plan?”

“Rey and I,” Zaira answered.

Hux shook his head. “You usually have _good_ plans.”

“It was the best plan we had,” Ben said defensively.

Hux cocked his head. “Still compassionate for the scavenger?”

“Still compassionate for your lover?”

“Was that really necessary, Ben?” Zaira said tightly.

“No, I suppose not,” he mumbled.

Hux’s mouth opened and closed. He wanted to ask her forgiveness, to ask her about everything that’d happened, but now? In front of Ren?

“Why did you come back?” he asked instead, his voice hoarse.

Zaira recognized what he was really asking. _Were you going to kill me_? “To stop Snoke. To save the stormtroopers. And I – I wanted to see you again, maybe because I’ve finally grown into fanciful child.”

“What if I’d killed you?” he whispered. Truthfully, Hux was relieved he hadn’t. He could have, though, and he didn’t trust himself to repeat his decision.

“I don’t know,” she confessed. “Thank you for not?”

Hux blinked back tears. “You shouldn’t be thanking me.”

“What are we going to do?” Ben interrupted. Fine, so he was uncomfortable seeing General Hux emotional.

“I wish I knew,” said Zaira.

“Use your Force?” Hux suggested. “You always seemed ready to show it off.”

“Yes, because now is the time for snark,” Ben said sarcastically. “Maybe we can snark our way out.”

Hux scowled. “I suppose not.”

Zaira shook her head. “Finn’s our only hope.”

“Or maybe the rathtars will eat Snoke,” grumbled Ben.

“Rathtars?” Hux’s eyes bulged.

“That was part of our plan.”

“What?” Hux shrieked.

“Hey, there’s no distraction like a rathtar,” Zaira said breezily.

Hux slumped. “When are they arriving?”

“They’re here,” Ben said.

“Why wasn’t I informed about this?”

“Maybe Snoke meant to crush you,” Ben said. “Maybe you’d outgrown your use.”

Hux groaned, unable to deny it. “I almost fell for it.”

“You didn’t,” Zaira said, grabbing his hand. “You’re a better man than you give yourself credit for.”

“I killed billions.”

“Billions you didn’t know. I killed my father,” Ben said.

“You have to beat me at everything, don’t you?” Hux asked wryly.

“I didn’t stop you, did I?” Ben asked shakily.

Both men, both rivals, stared into each other’s eyes and recognized the mutual pain and guilt they’d long suppressed.

“Where do we go from here?” Hux asked, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Zaira reached up to brush the tear away. “We escape. And then we confess and help those we can, all of us.”

“You haven’t done half what we did,” Hux objected.

“No, but that doesn’t make me innocent.” Zaira paused. A smirk bloomed on her face. “Although, that’s what I was before I met you.”

Hux’s face turned the color of his hair, but Ben had to snicker. “I love seeing you uncomfortable.”

“Mutual,” Hux said icily. “Or, I presume it will be when your scavenger arrives?”

Ben sobered. “I –”

Zaira had the sneaking suspicion something had happened between them, but now was not quite the time to interrogate him. “We can answer that later. Right now, we should try to escape.”

“Any ideas?”

A hazy man, more spirit than hologram, appeared. Zaira felt a bolt of fear and jumped back into Hux, who was frozen. “As a matter of fact, yes.”

 

Something struck the back of her head, and Rey sunk towards the ground. “What?”

A clone aimed a blaster at her.

“You don’t have to do this,” Rey said woozily, failing to focus. _No, it can’t end here._

Blaster fire erupted behind her, and the clone fell face-first into the ground.

“I’m so sorry!” Poe yelled, not that they could hear him from his fighter. _Finn – he could have killed Finn once_ – _who had he killed now?_

Poe yanked his ship to avoid blaster fire and nearly rolled into cannon fire.

“What the hell?” he yelled to himself. A glance at the skies above, however, revealed a mammoth First Order ship.

General Leia had arrived. Damn, that woman never ceased to amaze him.

 

“What is this?” Leia asked tersely.

“Clones,” Phasma replied, tightening her grip on her blaster. “Killing my soldiers.”

“Already?” Lando blinked.

“Apparently,” she snapped.

Chewie roared, bowcaster in hand.

“On the bright side,” Luke said, peering below, “all the rathtars appear to be dead.”

“When the demise of rathtars are your bright side, you might as well be in a black hole,” Phasma retorted. She had no trust for Jedi folk.

Her troops were dying. Dying, at the hands of the First Order, the Order she’d served with vigor and success. No one, not the Resistance and especially not the Order, cared about her troopers.

But she did. And they were going to save them.

“Don’t fail them.” She jabbed a steel-covered finger into Luke Skywalker’s chest before marching towards the exit. When they landed, she would be the first to join the battle.

“Are you all right?” Leia eyed Luke.

“Yes,” he said, but his lips trembled.

“You wanted to save the children. Now’s your chance,” Leia told him, reaching out to grab his hand.

“Lightsabers versus blasters?” How different he was from young Luke. Shame and sorrow swept through his body.

“A rebellion versus an Empire?”

Luke laughed. “True.”

Maybe he could reclaim young Luke Skywalker, too. Maybe the children weren’t dead.

 

Finn jumped at the trooper that stormed through their door, blaster open.

“Arrest me, then!” he shouted to his new ally stormtroopers, determined to shield them from the wrath of the Order. They could pretend hostility.

“You’re a traitor,” said Hundred, immediately catching on.

“We all are,” said the trooper shakily. Finn was disturbed at how young his voice sounded. “They’re hunting us!”

“What? Who?” cried 3131.

“Clones. They killed the other cadets I was with.” The trooper removed his helmet.

He was a quaking twelve-year old bearing a passing resemblance to a young Finn.

Finn felt a pang of rage. He shouldn’t be a soldier, shouldn’t be here, and _especially_ shouldn’t be hunted.

“I’m going to save you,” Finn declared. “Eh, _we_ are.”

“Indeed.” Hundred stepped forward. “Captain Phasma and the Resistance have joined forces to save us.”

“What?” The poor child stared at him.

Hundred knelt so that the child could see his honest face, his earnest eyes. “We’re going to help you. We need to survive.”

“We need to help the Order,” said the boy.

“You can’t if you’re dead, and massacring you all certainly isn’t helping,” Finn said quickly.

“I’m not sure myself,” admitted 3131. She glanced at Hundred. He was so much more decisive, so much better than her.

“You don’t have to be. None of us are,” Hundred admitted.

“But,” interrupted RT-2492, “We know we matter. Or else we wouldn’t have been taught the way we were. The special training, even if it failed.” He’d been pondering this idea since dancing, but felt too foolish to mention a mere feeling.

“It didn’t fail. We can think,” pointed out Hundred.

RT-2460 snatched the boy’s blaster. “I’m the best here. I’ll get us out. And then we’ll help Phasma.”

“We all will,” insisted 3131, rising from her seat. “Helmets on, everyone.”

“You good with a blaster?” 2460 asked Finn.

“I was the best in my group,” Finn said as a rush of duty filled him. The meaning and purpose he’d been supposed to feel before was finally filling his veins. “And I have the Force.”

“Not to mention experience in treason,” said RT-7869 with a teasing lilt to her voice. She found this newcomer, this free former soldier, oddly attractive and for once didn’t know how to behave.

 

“‘Wait.’ Are you joking?” Hux hissed.

“No,” said the young man in earnest. “I promise you, I will tell you when to fight your way out, but now is not the time.”

“Why should we trust you?” Zaira thought she knew, but she was too shocked to admit it.

“Because you know me.” Ben finally gathered his courage to ask. “Why did you never visit me before?”

The ghost turned around and smiled at Ben. A sad smile, full of regret but truly happy to see Ben. Love shone in his eyes.

“You’re Anakin Skywalker?” Zaira demanded.

“I am,” said the ghost.

“You were,” Hux said.

“I _am_.” The ghost kept smiling at Ben. “More Anakin now than I ever was in life.”

“The dark consumed me,” Ben whispered. “I just wanted your guidance.”

“You would never have received me, not as you were,” Anakin said gently. “I wanted to, oh I would have moved the universe to reach you.”

Ben blinked back tears. “Why didn’t you?”

“I tried.” Anakin reached out to wipe the tear off Ben’s cheek. “Every time you felt the pull of the Light, you felt me, you felt Padmé, you felt Obi-Wan and Yoda and Mace – and Han.”

“Han was not Force-sensitive,” Ben protested.

“Everyone has the Force. Some a hundred-fold more than others, some a thousand, like your Rey. You can’t see your father or your grandmother, but they’re here,” Anakin assured Ben.

Hux’s stomach turned. “Are all the dead ghosts?”

Anakin nodded.

“My father?” Hx wasn’t sure if he wanted to slap the man who’d died on Jakku fifteen years ago or hug him. Brendol Hux was awful, but he was his father.

“He’ll come around,” Anakin said cryptically. He squinted at Hux. “Whenever you find your path our way, you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

“I don’t deserve whatever it is,” Hux told him.

“You do,” objected Zaira.

Hux stared at her. “Hosnian Prime. The troopers out there are all _dying_ because of me.”

“They’re dying because of Snoke,” Zaira shot back. “Yeah, you killed billions. Own that. Take responsibility and when we get out of this, you’ll be alive and a new person and a good father.”

Anakin nodded towards Zaira’s stomach. “My biggest regret was not being a father.” He looked Hux in the eyes. “You’ll be a better one. And so will you.”

“Me?” Ben frowned.

“Oh, you and the scavenger weren’t going to get married?” Hux asked sarcastically.

“Her name is Rey.”

Anakin snorted. “You two are worse than me and Obi-Wan.”

Shouts filled the hallway outside.

Anakin sobered. “It’s time.”

“Care to answer my prayers and tell me what exactly it’s time to do?” Ben quipped.

 

Rey had a few questions. To start with, were the clones human and if so, weren’t their lives valuable?

Too bad they hadn’t given her a chance to ask. She was too busy dodging their blasters, too busy killing them to survive.

“What is wrong with you?” she screamed at one. It lunged for her, however, and she responded by jabbing her lightsaber into its chest.

_Jedi I am not._

Disoriented, she wondered where the Light and dark side had gone. All she knew was survival and protection, like she was back on Jakku. She knew Leia’s ship was landing, somewhere, but she felt so confused and afraid. What if they thought she was evil?

 _Ben, where are you?_ He would understand, at least.

With horror, she realized that there were no more rathtars around. Snoke could win – and kill Ben. _No, please!_

“Rey!”

She swung her head around to see General Leia aiming a blaster at the clone between her ship and Rey.

The clone, to Rey’s surprise, squeaked and dropped the blaster.

Chewie moaned. _Smart move_.

Captain Phasma, ever infamous and shiny, spilled out of the ship accompanied by several dozen new stormtroopers.

“Don’t kill me,” begged the clone.

“Why would we? As long as you stop killing us,” Rey commanded.

“It wasn’t my idea!”

“But you still obeyed,” Leia cut in as the ship behind her took off again.

“Cannons,” Leia clarified for Rey’s sake.

“What was I supposed to do?” wailed the clone.

“Not killing sounds like a good option.” Leia grabbed the clone by his shoulders. “Can you convince your troops to stop?”

“I – I don’t know,” stammered the clone.

“Try, please,” Rey begged.

“If – if you help me.”

 

“Please don’t kill me,” whimpered a clone,

“You’re pathetic.” Hux glowered at the guard. He wanted nothing more than to avenge his troopers.

“I think wanting to live is brave,” Zaira objected. “So is wanting to avenge.”

“I think Snoke’s the one to take our vengeance out on,” put in Finn. He and her cadets – her cadets! – had encircled the guards and blasted their way in.

“Who are you?” Hux had the dreadful feeling he knew. Oh, he knew.

“Finn.” His dark eyes stared into Hux’s blue pools.

There were so many things Hux wanted to say and do – apologizing and erasing twenty years chief among them – that he was overwhelmed into silence.

“Bet you didn’t know we had a Force-sensitive trooper,” Ben said, reveling in the reveal. Anakin had vanished, naturally, because as the last few years had shown, when had timing ever been his grandfather’s talent?

Hux blinked. “You’re what?”

“I have the Force. Yes, yes I do.” Finn smiled.

“He helped us escape,” added 3131.

“RT-3131,” said Zaira.

3131 glared at her.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Hux said to Finn, embarrassed by how inadequate the words were.

“At this point, most of us are so confused as to what side we’re on we don’t care. In another hour, maybe we will, but not right now,” said Hundred.

“Which reminds me, there have to be at least several hundred more clones swarming this place,” Zaira said. “What – what do we do about them? I don’t even know if they’re sentient.”

“They are. That’s why they’re preferable to droids,” Hux said. “But they die quicker than, um, humans.”

“I see,” Finn said coolly.

“I don’t think we have a choice but to fight them,” said Ben. “But they’re not our biggest concern. Snoke is alive.”

“I thought Finn was saying something about him actually being dead?” 3131 cocked an eyebrow.

“He was, and now he’s back alive,” Zaira said. “Honest.”

“Don’t worry, I’m as confused as you all are,” Hux said to the stormtroopers. “But I would trust Zaira. She – she wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“You should all go find General Leia and Captain Phasma outside,” Finn said. “They should be here by now. The rest of us can find Snoke.”

“Who?” General Hux gaped at him.

“They’re teamed up because they both care about us all,” Finn said, gesturing towards the stormtroopers.

“Us?” The young boy blinked.

 _I should have cared more_. Hux nodded. “You should all make your way out.”

“No, we can’t,” said Hundred. He looked from Hux to Zaira. “You trained us to fight. Let us fight with you.”

“I think I know where to go,” Hux said.

 

“Get your son!” Phasma shouted.

“I’m needed here,” Leia protested.

“No, _I’m_ needed here. Have a little faith,” Phasma retorted, knocking a clone off their feet. _Oh good, they’re unconscious._ “You and the Jedi and the scavenger and that little orange creature should help your son with whatever force he needs.”

Leia surveyed the battlefield, full of clones helping them, surrendered clones, and clones still fighting. The stormtroopers, she had to admit, were good soldiers. Her heart leapt. “Luke! Rey, get Maz!”

 

“Just what is going on here?”

Hux gulped at Colonel Datoo’s booming voice as they tore into the bridge.

“I would have been so pleased if I never had to hear your voice again,” Ben tossed out.

Datoo’s eyes narrowed. “Kylo Ren.”

“It’s Ben now, thank you.”

Datoo sputtered as the stormtroopers aimed their blasters at him, guarding their general as he approached the broadcast system.

“Hux, is it true you’ve betrayed us, too? The First Order meant everything to your father,” wheedled Datoo.

“Is it true that you’ve betrayed the citizens in the Order?” Hux replied. “By allowing clones to destroy our troops?”

“What? Clones? Are you mad?”

“Are you crazy enough to not have seen the clones killing us?” 3131 taunted, unable to resist. She hesitated, afraid of insubordination, but Kylo Ren himself was grinning at her.

“I – I – General, I had no idea,” cried Datoo. “Where is Snoke?”

“He ordered it,” Hux growled.

“He’s a monster,” Zaira added.

“You!”

“I?”

“Zaira, you and Ben deal with him. Hopefully rumors of my demise haven’t spread too far in this chaos.” Hux bent over the loudspeaker. He nodded towards Ben and Finn, who promptly slipped out of the room.

Chaos. He hated it. _Focus, focus_.

“Attention, First Order stormtroopers! We have been misled. Whether you’re clones or human, the other is not your enemy. We’ve been led into this trap by Snoke himself, whose goal is to destroy people who should be a team, a family.”

He remembered Snoke praising his leadership skills, remembered his father leaving on his final mission the day after. “If you want to run, you can run, but if you want to fight against Snoke, you will head to his throne room right now and open blaster fire. Unless, of course, the traitor Snoke wishes to surrender?”

“Are you sure?” shrieked Datoo.

“Quite,” Zaira said.

“I don’t care about your opinion,” Datoo said.

“I do,” Zaira replied.

“We do, too.” Hundred smirked. “Colonel Datoo, you’re under arrest, unless you’d like to help?”

“Help how?” Datoo asked shakily.

“Help ensure that Snoke does not escape. Help ready all cannons and close all doors,” Hux ordered.

“Indeed, sir!” Datoo, much to Zaira’s surprise, sat down next to a lowly technician.

 

“You bastard!” The second Ben knocked Snoke’s door open, his lightsaber sliced through his hand and careened for Snoke.

“Ben!” Finn shouted. The lightsaber –

Ben gagged at the stub where his hand had been. If he could go back to just a minute before – if he could enter a different way – his _hand_!

“ _Why_?” he bellowed.

“You broken fool – that’s what you deserved,” snarled Snoke.

“He’s more whole than you!” Finn shot back

“Oh, are you crying because your hand is gone? Crying like a silly baby?” mocked Snoke.

“Shut up!”

“I’m crying because I can’t believe I ever trusted you,” Ben managed.

“I’m going to end your pointless existence once and for all, Solo. And your friend will learn he can’t save you, or himself from the torments I’ll put him through.” Snoke smirked and raised a hand. Because he still had his hands.

Ben choked as his body levitated.

“Oh no you don’t!” Finn dashed forward, but an immense wave of energy knocked him back.

 _I’ll never be that strong in the Force_.

“You think life would weaken me? It only kept me safe,” growled Snoke.

“You still sound like an whiny asshole,” said Finn.

Snoke’s dark eyes flashed.

“You’re even more sensitive than Ben, aren’t you?”

“I’ve absorbed the Codex, if that’s what you mean,” Snoke said smugly.

“It isn’t.” Finn’s fingers grabbed the small blaster on his back and fired one shot towards the green alien.

Snoke successfully warped the shot, but the blaster flew towards him at unprecedented speeds. He screeched and leapt out of the way, sending Ben toppling towards the stone floor.

Ben gasped in air. “He can't control his power!”

“You –”

Ben struggled to freeze Snoke. “I don’t think he’s going to be able to handle the Codex! He’ll kill the galaxy!”

“I am invincible!” spat Snoke.

“Not anymore,” said Finn, stretching his arms out towards Snoke, trying to pull some, even a small amount, of the Force back towards himself. “We have to take back the Force, Ben!”

Snoke’s mouth was moving slower. He wasn’t supposed to be alive, and the universe knew it.

“Ben!” Rey tore into the room.

“How did you find me?” Ben cried, momentarily losing his focus as only Ben could.

“Hey!” Finn yelped.

“Later, Ben.” Leia swept in and focused her own energy on Snoke.

“You crazy general, out for revenge for your dead husband?” jeered Snoke. “You might – want to – kill your son –”

“Never,” hissed Leia.

Luke followed her. “I heard you missed me, Snoke.”

Maz was last. “You’ve lived too long to cheat death and power again, Snoke.”

“You! You don’t care for wars!”

“I should have started caring long ago. Han Solo taught me that.”

“This is your last chance,” Luke said shakily. “There is hope if you want us to just extract the Codex from you. Otherwise, we will have to kill you.”

Ben’s peripheral vision caught a flash of lavender. He was dimly aware of Hux and Zaira joining them, along with a legion of stormtroopers. And then they were all pulling the Force away from Snoke, even as non-sensitive as most of them were.

And then there was Anakin and a pretty brunette, and Obi-Wan, and Rey’s family, and then the entire room was filled with ghosts.

Snoke was moving slower and slower. Rey knew that if she approached him now, he could kill her, but if she waited a moment – just a moment –

Something moved behind Snoke.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something lurks behind a nearly-defeated Snoke.

Chapter Nineteen

 

The sound of a blaster ripped through the air.

Snoke screamed.

His heart, no, his heart – a blaster had torn through his heart.

So this was what death felt like – death when one was too weak to manipulate the force. His vision faded to gray.

He gagged and slid to his knees, much like Kylo Ren.

Another shot hit him, and all his hopes disappeared. _He was going to die_.

And Zaira saw in his eyes that even Snoke had hoped. And then he fell, gray blood over the gray stones, and then even she felt his force leave the room.

Rey had expected to feel vindicated; Kylo, relief. Instead, all either of them felt was tragedy.

“You!” Hux cried, interrupting them.

“I saved all of you,” protested Jango Fett, still pointing the blaster towards Snoke’s dead body.

“To save yourself, fuck your clones,” Zaira said angrily. “Well, you taught me too well: I know how to read people’s motives, and yours were nothing short of cowardly – not that I’m surprised.”

“I agree, Zaira,” said General Leia. “Someone arrest him. Get him out of my sight before I use my blaster.”

“Gladly,” said Hundred, leading his squad over to a befuddled Jango.

“I’m not your ungrateful scapegoat!” he screamed, aiming the blaster right at Hundred.

“No!” shrieked RT-3131, leaping in front of Hundred.

The Jango was shrieking as a previously unnoticed R2-D2 burrowed an arm directly into his leg.

“I saved you all!” he howled, collapsing into Hundred and 3131’s arms.

“No, _we_ saved us,” Rey snapped, lifting Ben to his feet. “And now we’re going to save all the stormtroopers _and_ all your clones. Right?”

She glanced at the ghosts. “Help us.”

“Help you, we will,” agreed a small, green creature.

“Yoda!” exclaimed Luke.

Yoda smiled. “Talk later, we will. To the battle, you will lead us.”

Luke nodded towards Rey and Ben. “I think they should.”

 

Poe had never seen anything like this. The ground flooded with thousands, millions, then billions of creatures in a space that shouldn’t house even a fraction of them.

Good or bad? He landed as quickly as he could, heart pounding. This could be it.

 _Finn, are you still here_?

“Not very graceful,” said a familiar voice as Poe burst out of his fighter.

“Finn!” he gasped, throwing aside his blaster for his lover’s embrace. “What – what’s happening?”

“Force ghosts. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Snoke is dead and the First Order is down, and General Hux is helping us, and we’re stopping the clones.”

“G-Ghosts?” Poe scanned Finn up and down. “You’re not a ghost, right?”

Finn leant forward to press his lips against Poe. “No, I’m not.”

“We’re still in a battle,” Poe said with a laugh.

“It’s mostly over, and I think we needed that,” Finn joked. He was alive! Poe and Rey and Ben and Maz were! And General Hux, and Captain Phasma. Leia and Luke and Chewie. Hope was phenomenal.

“You’re right,” Poe said.

“FN – Finn,” boomed Captain Phasma’s voice. She paused. The pilot? FN-2187? It was almost heart-warming. “General Organa is calling a truce. I suspect you may be a good candidate to speak for the stormtroopers.”

“Even a traitor like me?” Finn dared to mock.

“You’ll be _one_ of the stormtroopers speaking,” corrected Phasma. “I see the Resistance has wasted no time teaching you disrespect.”

“You’ll learn it in time,” quipped Poe.

“Pilot,” she grumbled, almost annoyed that the other speaker would be RT-3100. Another independent thinker, albeit a sanctioned independent speaker.

“Let go of me!” A howling Jango Fett kicked out, narrowly avoiding Phasma, as two troopers dragged him towards the ship.

“That’s the real Jango,” Finn clarified.

“No need to specify – only one is that disgusting,” said Phasma.

 

“You’ll take the first shift, alongside Admiral Stature,” Leia instructed the newly arrived Lieutenant Connix.

“Of course, General.” Connix nodded and headed back to the _Finalizer_ and two other First Order starships, where the stormtroopers, both clones and humans, would spend the night under the Resistance’s watch.

“They seem cooperative for now,” murmured Ackbar.

“Tomorrow we’ll work out the rest,” assured Leia. “With slightly-more-rested minds, I hope.”

Ackbar nodded towards Snoke’s compound in the distance. “What a tragic site.”

“Indeed.” Leia shivered as images of slaughtered stormtroopers replayed through her head. “So many dead children.”

“All here, though.” Ackbar surveyed the mass of ghosts.

“Leia,” whispered one from behind.

She turned, her mouth parting slightly. “Father.”

She’d never spoken those words before. She’d hated him for killing Alderaan, for torturing her, for not resisting the dark. But in the last few years, despite his absence, Anakin Skywalker represented the possibility of her son’s return.

“I’ll take my leave, General.” Ackbar nodded, still uncomfortable around Darth Vader. He who had been Darth Vader, that is.

Luke stepped into Leia’s sight, accompanied by a ghost whose appearance nearly stopped Leia’s heart. “This is our Mother.”

“You’re just like I dreamt,” Leia said.

Padmé, significantly fainter than Anakin, smiled with a kindness that would have melted the Starkiller. “My twins – my grandson.”

 

From across the plain, Rey nudged Ben. “Your grandmother?”

“Go,” suggested Obi-Wan. “We’ll be back when you need to talk more.”

Still holding where his hand had been, Ben approached his grandmother nervously, with Rey trailing behind. “I – I broke your heart too, didn’t I?”

“And put it back together.” Padmé, who bore a striking resemblance to Rey, smiled at the former scavenger beyond Ben. “Obi-Wan’s granddaughter is beautiful.”

“She is!” Ben grabbed Rey’s hand and pulled her towards the ghosts. “I love her.”

Rey’s eyes shone. To be in the presence of legends such as Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala! “And I love him.”

A pale ghost approached behind them.

“Leia,” he said gently.

The General’s eyes filled with tears. “Han.”

Ben began shaking. “I’m sorry, Father, I’m so sorry.”

Han smiled and reached a hand out to stroke his cheek just as he had in that last moment on the bridge. Only now, there was pride in his eyes rather than forgiveness.

“Can you tell I’m wearing a new jacket now?”

“You jerk!” Leia swatted at the ghost. Sure, her actions felt sacrilegious, but she didn’t know how else to behave.

Han smirked at Rey. “You sure you want a Skywalker? They’re high maintenance.”

 

“Look.” Zaira gestured towards the Skywalker ghosts.

Chewie let out a howl and ran towards them, nearly knocking Hux down. Not that he didn’t deserve a good knock, and then some.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Zaira breathed, one hand on her stomach. “Hux, I never thought – I never imagined there was anything beyond what I saw. Hux, the galaxy is beautiful; Hux, life never ends.”

Hux, however, felt terrified. His life and his ghost should be eternally tormented for what he’d done.

So many ghosts surrounded him, and he knew, he knew all of Hosnian Prime was here. How could he apologize? He could never bring them back.

“You feel guilty,” Zaira interpreted.

“You should.” Finn stared pointedly at Hux. “General Hux, I don’t forgive you, but I want to. I can forgive Ben, but not you, and I don’t know why. But someday, I will, because everyone needs to know they aren’t ruined.”

“I am,” Hux said with a cracked voice. Ruined, that is.

“General Hux, if you’ll come with me,” interrupted Lando Calrissian.

Hux turned to him, his face pale and weary. “Yes.”

“Finally, someone who gives me a proper and direct response!” huffed 3PO.

“Where to?” Zaira cut in, much to 3PO’s dismay.

“Guarded quarters, for now,” said C-3PO, tottering out from behind Lando.

“You understand,” Lando said apologetically.

Hux nodded, releasing Zaira’s hand.

“He’ll be okay,” Finn said to Zaira as Hux walked away with Lando and the golden droid.

“Which officers?”

“Just the most high-ranking: Phasma, Datoo, anyone who knew how to operate the _Finalizer_.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Ideologies don’t end in a day.”

“No, I suppose they don't,” Zaira said quietly. And for Jango, they still hadn’t.

“I’m sorry about your father,” Finn said. “But I’m glad he’s alive.”

“I’m – I am not sure how I feel about his life,” Zaira blurted out. “How horrible, right?”

“I think it’s understandable. I wouldn’t have shed tears for Phasma,” admitted Finn.

Zaira’s heart twisted. But Phasma was caring and good and brave. Was it possible she had only seen the cruel side to her father, much as Finn had only seen Phasma’s? Disquieted, she scanned the Force ghosts. “Wonder if your family is here?”

“That’s what I’ve been wondering. Guess I’ll never know.” Finn clenched his jaw in frustration.

“The First Order has records,” Zaira said softly. “Maybe they’re still alive.”

“I’m sure they’d be ashamed of me, what I’ve served.”

“They should be proud at what you’ve overcome. You should be proud of yourself.”

“You should be proud of _yourself_ ,” Finn replied with a smirk.

Zaira smiled sadly. “Maybe someday.”

The ghosts were fading now, but Zaira knew they would always surround everyone here, for better or worse.

“Zaira, a word?” Leia interrupted her thoughts.

Zaira flushed. “Yes.”

“I’ll leave you,” Finn said quickly, hurrying over to Rey and Ben.

Zaira wanted to melt into the earth. “Er, hi.”

“I’m so sorry,” Leia said.

Zaira blinked. “For what?” _Don’t say Jango – I don’t even know how I feel, so don’t tell me sorry, not yet_. People shouldn’t be allowed to feel sorry if she couldn’t feel sorry.

“I didn’t know you were a slave for us,” Leia said instead.

Zaira blinked. “Technically, I was a slave for Jango.”

“He used you to further his own cause, whatever it was,” said Leia indignantly. “That is worse than what my father did to me. And it took me until now to forgive him.”

Zaira shrugged. “I don’t know what to say.”

“If you need to talk about – about fathers, I have a listening ear,” said Leia.

“You’re too kind.”

“You deserved better. I want you to know that I would never have wanted you to serve us under duress,” Leia said firmly. “I regret not noticing.”

“I was good at hiding it. I never questioned Jango,” Zaira said. “Not before King Prana’s attack.”

Leia nodded. “I am assuming General Hux had something to do with this?”

“I ran away without forewarning you,” Zaira said instead. “I regret putting you at such a disadvantage.”

“Did your child have anything to do with that?”

Zaira cringed. “You know?”

“Maybe it takes a mother to know one, but you don’t hide it as well as you think,” Leia said with a laugh.

Zaira grabbed Leia’s hands, then. She wasn’t sure if this was how daughters treated mothers, or slaves, masters, or mortals, god. But she had to express her feelings somehow. “General Organa, there’s more to him than what he’s infamous for. Please, what’s going to happen to him?”

 

Hux huddled in his private prison, knees against his chin. A pillow law next to him and a bed beneath him, but he didn’t feel the need to sleep. A part of him wanted to never sleep again. Punishment befitting him.

He wasn’t sure how he’d changed so suddenly, or if he’d been changing all along and never realized it.

He’d helped throw away all his father’s work, all his life’s work. Now there was no future. And yet, he felt relief that he no longer needed to hold onto what he had.

For as long as he remained alive, that it. There was no way the Resistance would allow a mass murderer to live.

He’d seen all their souls. Their _souls_ , and he’d killed them.

Hux gasped for air. He was unforgiveable. Finn was right.

 _Zaira, I’m sorry_.

Someone knocked at the door. Hux knew he looked like a weak child, but he had no desire to move. Let them know he knew what he’d done, let them know he’d destroyed himself in destroying them, and he deserved worse.

Instead of a guard, she entered. Her eyes soft with compassion. Auburn roots turning into the lavender he loved. Her stomach slightly swollen with the fruit of their love.

She sat next to him, took his hand in hers. “Hux.”

“Why didn’t you kill me before?” he whispered. “You could have saved Hosian Prime.”

“And then someone else would have used the Starkiller,” she said grimly. “Do you really want to die?”

Hux’s eyes stung. He managed a nod in reply.

“I don't want you to die. I love you,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “They’re not going to kill you, you know. General Organa thinks there’s been too much death already.”

Hux’s heart chilled. “Then what is going to happen?”

“Depends. You could remain in prison for the rest of your life.” Zaira looked at him. “I think Statura and some of those whose families were on the Republic would prefer that, to be honest.”

Hux shuddered. Of course.

“Or,” she began, “we could help right the wrongs we’ve done.”

“You’ve done nothing,” he protested. “You couldn’t help Jango. Don’t you see: I am Jango! I trained the stormtroopers like he trained you. I got them killed, too.”

“And your father trained you,” she insisted.

“But I had education, I could have searched and questioned myself, but I was too afraid to. And too ambitious,” he forced himself to say.

Zaira smiled sadly. “I love you.” She didn’t know what else to say.

“Don’t. Go and build a happy life for you, and him – or her,” Hux said, his fingers tracing her abdomen.

“I’ll build it with you, because you can still help. The stormtroopers, even the clones – some of them will need so much education, help de-brainwashing and acclimating to normal life.” Zaira looked him in the eyes. “We can help, in whatever ways we can.”

“I don’t know how. I can indoctrinate, not free them,” he said.

“We’ll learn. Remember the planet with the seven moons? Where we danced? That’ll be the place,” Zaira said. “Leia’s already agreed, and Phasma will probably go there, too. We’ll be there, free and doing something right for once.”

“Unless I’m forced between that and prison. Then I’m not quite free,” said Hux bitterly.

“You’re just saying that to paint yourself as a villain again. You’re not. Ben’s not. Phasma’s not. You’re not Jango because you’ve _changed_. _Keep_ _changing_. I’ll support you as best I can, and we’ll raise our child in the light of seven moons,” pled Zaira.

“So poetic,” Hux said.

“You’ve never learned poetry. Neither have I. We can start now.” Zaira took his face in her hands. “I may not be a mass murderer, but I need to change, too. Let’s change and help each other.”

 

“I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard,” Finn said, eyes wide.

“Would you like to help?” Leia asked.

Finn was flattered, but his eyes shifted to Poe.

“Do what you want,” Poe encouraged him. Beside his feet, BB-8 beeped encouragement.

“I want to travel the galaxy. With you.”

Poe’s heart warmed. He’d never been so comfortable, so happy with a man before. “We can. And then, if you want, we can come back and help. This is going to take a while.”

“I think that’s a lovely idea.” Leia squeezed Finn’s shoulder. “Han and I did something similar for our honeymoon.”

Finn blushed. “We haven’t gotten quite that far.”

“Why not?” Poe leaned against the wall.

“Seriously?” Finn gasped.

“Would you? I mean – you have so much to explore, so much to do – if you want to have me along I’d – I’d be so happy,” Poe babbled.

Finn grabbed Poe and kissed him full on the lips. “Please.”

Leia winked at Luke, who was watching from the shadows. Then R2 beeped ecstatically, and Poe and Finn jumped apart.

“Sorry,” Luke said.

“It’s not very Jedi-like to lie,” said Finn, to Luke’s endless amusement. “Don’t forget I have the Force too, old man. You can’t fool me.”

Leia smirked and force-shoved Finn back into Poe’s arms. “Sure we can.”

 

Zaira found herself crushed in Hux’s embrace and she felt so happy, peaceful, free, home. “I love you.”

“If – if I can really help,” said Hux, “we should marry.”

Zaira laughed. Laughed because, when she was a girl, she’d seen a wedding once and wanted it while knowing she never could. Jango had beat her when he’d seen her smiling at the joyful bride. “Yes, I think so.”

“I’m an infamous murderer,” Hux said, unable to resist hurting himself.

“You’re a complex human who now wants to help and change, who loves me and whom I love,” Zaira replied. “Don’t forget who you are: loved and a lover.”

She half-smiled. “That’s what I tell myself I am, anyway.”

Hux responded by digging his hands in her wavy hair, undoing her braid.

“I miss you,” she responded, her fingers undoing his general’s uniform. _The last time he would ever wear this_ , he thought as the jacket fell to the floor. Well, almost. He might have to put his clothes on later.

He pulled off her black shirt, kissed her stomach. “I love you.”

As she removed his pants, he added, “You risked a lot coming here.”

“I know.” She pursed her lips. “I hope he – or she – forgives me. But – but you were worth it. You know, I was just hoping to see you again. The mission gave me hope instead of fear, because all I wanted was to see you.”

Their bodies melded together, a bit awkwardly since Hux felt suddenly afraid of hurting her.

“Don’t be afraid,” she said in a hushed tone. leaning down to wrap her arms around him. “I love you for who you are.”

“I love you for everything. Spy, free and brave woman, survivor and the purple-haired vixen who beat me up,” Hux teased. But he meant it, oh, he did.

She pressed her lips against him as the rhythm of their bodies increased. “Don’t stop.”

“I never will,” he promised.

 

“Seems strange Rey should have it easiest, doesn’t it?” Ben strolled into Hux’s quarters three days later, just after they has supposedly docked in OHS1782-03 .

“Her parents are dead and ghosts, but they don’t haunt her. Not like Finn, Zaira, me, you.”

Hux eyed him. “What is your point?”

“I don’t know. I just thought it worth mentioning. Also, I don’t fault you for all our spats before.” Ben’s face turned red.

“That was hard to say, wasn’t it?”

“You could at least say the same.”

“We’re children,” Hux complained.

“Children training children.” Ben nodded. “Luke and Rey and I are going to be helping the Force-sensitive children, should their parents want to send them to a new academy. No one would fault them if they didn’t, and it’s not like the Resistance doesn’t want my blood along with yours. But some of your troopers are, and they’ll need help.”

“That’s fascinating,” Hux said, jumping to his feet. His stormtroopers! “Although I’m glad I didn’t screen for that before.” He probably would have killed them as babies. His stomach turned.

“I’ve done a lot I regret, too,” Ben said, recognizing the pain in Hux’s eyes. “Recovery won’t come easy.”

“I imagine Rey will help.”

“She already has,” Ben admitted. “As will Zaira. Which reminds me …”

“What about Zaira?” Hux asked instantly.

Ben bit back a grin. He was so in love and so prime for teasing, but this was not the time. “Why don’t you come with me?”

“Is she hurt?”

“No, of course not.” Ben extended a hand to Hux. “This wasn’t my doing. Rey’s got something to show you.”

Hux’s heart beat faster. “Um…”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a stutter like that. You really have changed.”

“Shut up.”

“Here.” Ben stepped aside.

Hux squinted in the light of the setting sun. Slowly, he stepped off the ship to see a beaming Finn and his lover, the pilot. Whatever his name was. It wasn’t like Hux to forget, or maybe it was now. Now that forgetfulness was finally allowed in his life.

The perfect golden droid was right behind them, along with R 2-D2 and BB-8, which caused Hux a twinge of guilt. He’d almost destroyed it, after all. And the Wookiee, and the infamous Maz Kanata. Hux’s heart stirred – if she’d changed into a wise old creature, maybe he could do the same.

Then he saw General Organa, radiating kindness and sunlight, beside a very official-looking Luke Skywalker.

In front of them stood Zaira, flanked by an unmasked Phasma and Rey. She smiled shyly, wearing a flowing light green dress. Her waves tumbled loose around her shoulders, and someone had put faux flowers in her hair.

“You wanted to get married, right?” Ben shoved Hux forward.

“Is this a double-wedding?” Hux asked, unsure how he felt about getting married alongside Kylo Ren – Ben Solo, that is.

“I wouldn’t do that to Rey,” Ben shot back.

And then nothing mattered except Zaira. He took her hands and before the rising moons, his enemies pronounced this the happiest moment of his life.

 

**One more chapter to go. Hmm, I wonder what will happen.**


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New life, both literal and figurative, is a messy, bloody road.

Chapter Twenty

 

**Thank you to everyone who has read this story – I hope you enjoyed it. <3 You’re all amazing. **

 

“Are you afraid?” Poe turned to an uncharacteristically subdued Finn.

“Hell yes.”

“I would kiss you, but I’m afraid we’ll crash our landing.”

“Pfft, I have the force. And you have more skill than that.” Finn leaned over to press his lips against Poe. His husband.

 _Beeeeeep_. BB-8 turned away.

In the five months since Snoke’s defeat, he and Poe had seen everything he’d ever imagined and more, and he’d acquired the one thing he’d thought was beyond his grasp: love. Especially love with another man.

Their landing might have been a little rougher than usual, but Finn didn’t mind. Still, now that their break was over, it was time to save the stormtroopers. Time to help Leia rebuild a Republic.

“Finn!” RT-3131 threw her arms around him as soon as he stepped out of their ship. Unlike most of the stormtroopers, she’d elected to keep her numerical name, to reclaim the name they’d given her.

“3131!” Finn embraced her back. Hundred smiled at him from behind his lover.

“Bet you weren’t expecting to see me here, eh?” Ben’s face popped into Finn’s sight.

“Uh, no, no we weren’t,” Poe answered. BB-8 dropped to the ground, chiming in its agreement.

“It’s a large moon; why separate children from Force-sensitive and less Force-sensitive if we don’t have to?” Ben shrugged. “Looks like Luke, Rey and I will be staying here a bit longer.”  
            “With your former nemesis?” Finn joked.

“We’re still nemeses,” Ben growled. “Just the other day, he was so upset by how Rey had arranged things –”

“I’m sure it’s mutual. Though I do find your fondness for Rey adorable.” Poe smirked.

“Don’t think just because I’m Light Side I won’t hurt you,” Ben grumbled.

“But we’re friends,” Poe said in a wounded tone.

“My, my, this is amusing.” 3131 crossed her arms.

“Um, but the reason we’re here, and not General Leia – ” began Hundred.

“–Is because she’s a bit busy helping Zaira,” 3131 finished.

“Helping?”

“The baby?” Finn asked eagerly.

“Eventually. Rey and Leia are dealing with Zaira, but we’ve got Hux,” groused Ben.

“I imagine he’s worried?”

“That’s one word for it.” Ben ground his teeth. “Really, we had been getting along great, but now –”

“I can imagine,” said Finn with a shudder.

“Good, someone gets it.” Ben stuck his tongue out at Poe. “You weren’t with the Order long enough.”

“Oh, is that it?” Poe asked with amusement.

 

Zaira pressed a hand against her mouth. Her insides were being torn out. She was certain her insides were being torn out.

“You’ll almost through,” Rey promised, clutching her friend’s other hand.

“You said that this morning,” Zaira gasped.

“But you _are_ closer than this morning.” Rey caught Leia’s eye and hurried after Leia. “I’ll get you water.”

“I wish we had a medical droid,” mumbled Leia.

“Why, is something wrong?” demanded Rey.

“Shh.” Leia glanced behind her. “She seems to be bleeding more than normal. Not that I have much experience beyond my own.”

“I can hear you,” Zaira called out.

“You can?” Rey blinked.

“No, but I can tell from her face something is wrong.” Fear scalded her heart – she couldn’t abandon Hux. “Go find Phasma. Her mother was a midwife.”

“Really?” Rey couldn’t imagine how a woman with a life-giving profession could birth a woman whose job had been training children for death. She ought to acquaint herself better with Phasma.

“Ye – ” Zaira felt another contraction begin and promptly clamped her mouth shut so she wouldn’t scream.

“I have a bad feeing about this,” muttered Leia.

Rey sped down the hall of the former bunker towards Hux’s room. A very relieved Luke stood up to greet her. “Rey.”

“How is Zaira?” Hux broke in. He was visibly sweating and trembling.

 _Poor Luke_. Rey forced a smile on her face. “Coming along. You don’t happen to know where Phasma is?”

“What’s wrong?” Hux narrowed his eyes.

“Er – nothing,” Rey said lamely. “Apparently Phasma’s more of an expert than us, that’s all.”

“You’re lying!” Hux leapt to his feet and charged past Rey.

She darted after him. “You’re not helping – help me find Phasma!”

“You’re going to listen to Rey,” said a calm, familiar voice.

And then Hux was turning around. “Yes, I’m going to listen to Rey…”

“Thank you!” She whispered to Ben, who stood there flanked by Poe and Finn. “And hello!”

“ _Again_?” Ben nodded towards Hux.

“Is it really that surprising?”

“No, no it isn’t,” answered Finn.

“Did you use the Force against him again?” Luke sighed, padding up to them.

“No,” Ben said meekly.

“Oh, really?”

“It was Rey!” He pointed.

“I’m going to murder you when I return,” Rey threatened. “Hux, lead me to Phasma.”

The former general nodded blankly.

“BB-8,” Poe said suddenly.

 _Beep_. The droid swiveled away from his reunion with R2-D2.

“If he tries that again, sting him.”

“I love you,” Ben said.

Poe cast him a funny glance. “Too bad, I’m taken.”

 

“Aside, General.” Phasma shouldered her way past Leia with a small twinge of pleasure. “How do you feel, Zaira?”

“Fine.” Zaira’s face was surprisingly pale. Alarm spread through Phasma’s mind.

“Don’t lie,” she snapped.

“I feel like there’s a rathtar inside me every time a contraction begins.”

“Hmm.” Phasma knew she shouldn’t be there. She wasn’t her mother. She was a soldier, a mass murderer, not a life-saver.

She reached out and palpated her friend’s stomach. Zaira winced, producing a surprising amount of guilt in Phasma.

After a few minutes of examining Zaira, who seemed too tired to care much for modesty, Phasma was fairly certain she knew the answer.

“What’s happening?” Rey crossed her arms.

Phasma brushed a strand of blond hair out of her eyes and straightened up. “It looks like her womb may be tearing inside.”

“What does that mean?” Zaira demanded.

“It means we may have to cut you open.” Phasma scowled. “Where did all the medical droids go?”

“Most of them were designed to ignore pain and leave those dying,” said Leia coldly. “They were being re-programmed. They should have been back next week, but apparently the baby couldn’t wait.”

“You had five months to fix them, and you waited until _now_?”

“We’ve been busy rebuilding what was lost, and she showed no pre-labor signs last week!”

“Do you know what to do?” Rey pressed the captain.

“I’ve only seen this once before, practically thirty years ago,” snapped Phasma.

“Can we stop arguing and keep me and my baby from dying?” Zaira piped up. “Because, I can still hear you all.”

“I can try to remember,” Phasma said tightly. She couldn’t. She was too far gone from her youth.

Yet…

Maybe she could reclaim what she’d thrown away.

“Where is Hux?” Zaira mumbled, her face now alarmingly pale. “He should be here…”

“Get him, and force knock her out as soon as I open her up,” Phasma instructed Rey.

Hux came rushing in, his face paler than his wife’s. “Zaira, Zaira, I’m so sorry!”

He’d done this to her, he thought as he knelt by her and clutched her hand. He should not have risked her life. Not that either of them had the foresight to see this, any of this ridiculousness, happening.

“Don’t worry.” Zaira smiled at him.

“Calm down,” Leia said.

“Uh…hold on, sorry Zaira.” Rey remembered how Ben took her consciousness back on Takodana, back when they were enemies. Who knew that could be so useful?

“I suppose the dark side has benefits,” Leia muttered, sharing Rey’s sentiment.

When Zaira was appropriately unconscious, Phasma heaved a sigh and began cutting into Zaira.

Hux promptly began crying. In spite of her fear and horror, Rey had to hold back a laugh at the sight.

 

“I hate waiting.” Finn paced back and forth in the hallway.

“Please calm down,” Poe encouraged, though he knew his husband wouldn’t.

“Son, you’re making me more anxious,” said Luke.

“But that makes me feel worse!” exclaimed Finn.

“They said your name is Finn now.”

Finn spun around to see the intruder who’d snuck up on them. The scar, the dark, dark skin.

“Zeroes.”

“That’s still my name now,” said the man awkwardly.

“It suits you.”

Sensing Finn’s discomfort, Poe sidled up and but his arm around Finn. “Hi. I’m Poe Dameron.”

“everyone knows who you are. All of you, really.” Zeroes nodded from Rey to Ben, from Chewie to Luke, from Poe to Finn. “I’m glad. They always said you were destined for greatness, Finn.”

“Not this kind,” Finn said with an ironic smile.

“True. But maybe this is better.” Zeroes’ eyes brightened. “I’m helping teach the younger kids, but it’s hard, you know? I was hoping when you arrived you could help me.”

“You’re helping teach…” Finn shoved Zeroes playfully, hope stirring through him. Slip had saved him, and now he could help save Zeroes. “Of course I will.”

“Wish Nines were here,” Zeroes said quietly.

Finn blinked back unexpected tears.

 _Traitor_! They could have used Nines’ fire, that was for sure.

“Yeah, me too.”

 

Leia didn’t know why she’d expected a sharp cry like when Ben’d emerged from her body – echoed immediately by Han’s cry – but instead she heard just a soft whimper.

Hux gasped.

“Keep her unconscious while I put her back together,” Phasma commanded Rey. Her friend would never have children again, but perhaps the stormtroopers would prove enough for her. But no one needed to know that now.

But then Leia’s eyes met hers, and she knew that at least this woman understood. Perhaps she and the general had more in common than she’d thought.

“Here.” Phasma shoved the child toward Leia.

“Wait – what is it?” Hux leapt to his feet, still clutching Zaira’s hand.

“Here. Meet your daughter.” Leia smiled, general to general, person to person.

“Daughter?” Hux gasped again at the bloody, messy bundle in his arm. For some reason he’d always expected a son.

But she was here, and she was perfect. He knew he had no idea how to parent, but he would at least make sure his daughter controlled her own destiny. That she knew all people were light and dark and forever capable of choosing between the two.

 

“Sooooooo where’s my niece? Sort of.” Ben strolled into the room.

“I wouldn’t disgrace her heritage,” Hux retorted as he stroked Zaira’s hair.

“I resent that,” Leia replied, throwing her arm around an unsuspecting Ben.

Hux pouted, cuddling his daughter closer.

“But Rey should be her aunt,” protested Zaira, her voice fainter than normal. Still stronger than when she’d awoken, though. She wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. “And Phasma.”

“Me?” Phasma was stunned.

“Why not? You helped save us,” Zaira murmured.

Luke bounded in behind Chewie. The Wookie strode forward with outstretched arms.

“Chewie likes children,” Finn explained from the doorway.

“Can we be uncles, too?” asked Poe.

“Fine, sure, why not,” grumbled Hux, but there was a small smile on his lips. Family he’d never dreamt of.

“What’s her name?” Luke asked as Chewie sang softly in his unique Wookie way.

“Uh.” Hux glanced at Zaira.

“Lunea?” she suggested. “For the moons. For the dancing.”

“I think that’s perfect.” Hux leaned down to embrace his wife.

BB-8 rolled in, followed by a gliding R2 and a tottering 3PO. _Beep bleep beeeeep!_

“Droid family,” Rey translated.

“Wonderful,” Hux said, rolling his eyes.

“You like us, admit it.” Finn grinned.

“He does,” Phasma confirmed, grateful for the opportunity for revenge against that uptight general. Finally.

“I –“ Hux blushed.

“We all do.” Zaira grasped Hux’s hand and smiled at Luke wrestling Lunea from Chewie’s arms.

A child! Children lived again! Blooming hope overtook Luke’s heart.

Rey nudged Ben. “I think your family just grew a little.”

“Well, we could make it even more official,” Ben whispered back, planting a kiss on her forehead.

“Hey.” She grabbed his face and pulled him down for one long, passionate kiss.

 

“I’m afraid,” Hux confessed later that night to a sleepy Zaira. He perched next to her on the bed, holding Lunea like a delicate treasure. “She might hate me when she finds out what I’ve done.”

Zaira shrugged. “Or she might admire your change.”

“How many like her did I end?” Hux whispered, stroking Lunea’s wispy red hair.

“How many like her have you saved?” Zaira countered. “It won’t be easy, Hux. We both did shitty things. But we’re here, we’re doing better, we’re doing good, and at the end of our lives the ghosts will see the whole picture.”

Hux nodded, a lump in his throat. He wished the guilt would leave, but he didn’t feel it moral to move on just yet. “Well, I know you and Lunea will be the prettiest parts of my picture.”

            “I have a feeling you’ll shine just as beautiful, Hux.”

            Hux. He was just Hux now. No General. And despite the heaviness, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Lunea stirred and began crying.

“Uh – uh –” Hux waved his hands around in a very uncontrolled fashion. “What do we do?”

Zaira smirked. “I think we feed her.”

“Oh. Right.”

Zaira chuckled as Lunea quieted on her breast. “You’re going to have a beautiful story, Nea. Just like your father.”

 

**Kindly note that the idea for Lunea’s name came from Aurora Lynne’s suggestion, which I loved.** **J** **Although I’m sure they don’t have Latin in the galaxy far, far away, I imagine they still refer to “lunar eclipses” and the like, so maybe the word independently evolved from whatever language they speak.**

**Thank you again, dear readers, and I know you all have lovely stories to tell from your own lives, too. <3 **


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